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How do people quit?

Old 04-21-2016, 11:51 AM
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How do people quit?

I've said "I'm quitting" 1000 times in the last 6 years. I'm a liar. I am a terrible employee. I am a bad friend.

How do I beat this?

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Old 04-21-2016, 11:55 AM
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Welcome, Elmer!

For me, it took a week of inpatient detox followed by ninety AA meetings in ninety days. Do whatever it takes!
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Old 04-21-2016, 11:58 AM
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by doing pro-active things to remain sober like meetings, reaching out everytimne if you feel urges & cravings, reading recovery books to help you understand more, journalling, meditation, seeing a Dr, healthy hobby's, regular interaction here on SR

Acceptance over the simple fact I can't drink safely or responsibly was the foundation of my sobriety from there on in I kept strengthening the foundation learning about my addiction/alcoholism

Welcome

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
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Old 04-21-2016, 11:59 AM
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For me...
Admitted I had a problem
Went to a 28 day detox program (SMART) very close to Rational Recovery
Spoke with my doctor and asked for a mental health assessment, genetic bi-polar which contributed to my drinking a significant amount
Came up with a plan to stay sober
Attend this forum daily offer what worked for me
Attend AA in person once a week in person, few times a week online
Start and end my day giving thanks for my sobriety
Self education using the internet

In short I used to go to all lengths to get beer, now I go to all lengths to stay sober and I am one happy camper as are my kids, better half and those around me.

Always keep my confidence in check, I know I can not have even a sip, so I do not.

Mindful to not expose myself to a high risk environment(s)

Exercise daily with my dog

All the best
Andrew
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Old 04-21-2016, 12:06 PM
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I wanted to be sober, more than I wanted to drink.

That really was my turning point.
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Old 04-21-2016, 12:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Opivotal View Post
I wanted to be sober, more than I wanted to drink.

That really was my turning point.
If you don't mind me asking, how old were you when you reached this point? I'm 26 and can't imagine making it to 30.
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Old 04-21-2016, 12:08 PM
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I think we have all said "I am done, I'm quitting i'll never drink/drug ever again! and then not followed through with it.

What it took for me was hitting absolute rock bottom. I am 25 years old and I had to take a leave of abscense from law school, I was homeless, my car got totaled so I had no transportation, I had cut my entire family out, stole 50,000 dollars from my mom, my boyfriend went to jail, and something in me finally just said ENOUGH IS ENOUGH I DESERVE BETTER!

I decided I was never going to drink or use drugs again. For the first time I didn't feel like I was giving something up, instead I looked at it as gaining everything and more.

I found a doctor that specializes in addiction, I got a full psychological evaluation done and finally got properly diagnosed as bipolar type 2 disorder. I started off with counseling 3 times a week plus doctors appointments every two weeks. I changed my phone number, I deleted Facebook and any google accounts that had numbers changed, I found a safe place to live, and by the grace of God the second I was ready for help my entire family was behind me.

I am now 8 months sober (the longest time I have been sober in the 10 years I have been using heroin). I still go to counseling at a minimum 2 times a month but more if I feel I need it, I still go to my doctor once a month, I have completely immersed myself with family (me and my mom talk on the phone for 2 hours every night), I volunteer, I am finally addressing my codependency issues, I read books about recovery, about codependency, and just books that are fun reading. I volunteer and I do yoga, meditation, and have worked on my spiritual health along with physical and mental health.

Basically I changed EVERY aspect of my life. It all has to start with wanting recovery MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD and to be willing to do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING it takes no excuses allowed.
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Old 04-21-2016, 12:09 PM
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And thank you all for responding. I will try to listen and respond to all of you while I deal with this binge.
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Old 04-21-2016, 12:10 PM
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How do people quit? They don't drink.

How do they stay quit? They work a program of recovery that gives them the tools to live a sober life.

They understand the obsession to drink and have learned to combat the urges to drink so they can stay true to their commitment to sobriety.

They accept that they can't drink, ever again. And don't.
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Old 04-21-2016, 12:12 PM
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Originally Posted by AdelineRose View Post
I think we have all said "I am done, I'm quitting i'll never drink/drug ever again! and then not followed through with it.

What it took for me was hitting absolute rock bottom. I am 25 years old and I had to take a leave of abscense from law school, I was homeless, my car got totaled so I had no transportation, I had cut my entire family out, stole 50,000 dollars from my mom, my boyfriend went to jail, and something in me finally just said ENOUGH IS ENOUGH I DESERVE BETTER!

I decided I was never going to drink or use drugs again. For the first time I didn't feel like I was giving something up, instead I looked at it as gaining everything and more.

I found a doctor that specializes in addiction, I got a full psychological evaluation done and finally got properly diagnosed as bipolar type 2 disorder. I started off with counseling 3 times a week plus doctors appointments every two weeks. I changed my phone number, I deleted Facebook and any google accounts that had numbers changed, I found a safe place to live, and by the grace of God the second I was ready for help my entire family was behind me.

I am now 8 months sober (the longest time I have been sober in the 10 years I have been using heroin). I still go to counseling at a minimum 2 times a month but more if I feel I need it, I still go to my doctor once a month, I have completely immersed myself with family (me and my mom talk on the phone for 2 hours every night), I volunteer, I am finally addressing my codependency issues, I read books about recovery, about codependency, and just books that are fun reading. I volunteer and I do yoga, meditation, and have worked on my spiritual health along with physical and mental health.

Basically I changed EVERY aspect of my life. It all has to start with wanting recovery MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD and to be willing to do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING it takes no excuses allowed.
Awesome post man. Thank you.

I always feel that my sober days are just that. "Sober Days". I focus my entire day around avoiding alcohol and it just isn't normal. I've tried smoking weed as a substitute but I can't get over it.
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Old 04-21-2016, 12:13 PM
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I have been where you are. I would wake up in the middle of the night almost every night for the past year, regretting once again drinking that bottle of wine or more every night and promising myself the next day I wouldn't. But by 4pm the next day that little voice inside my head talked me into it and by 7pm I was opening that bottle. Went on for months.

When I realized that voice did NOT want what's best for me and was essentially, a fraud, I learned how to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink. I'm only a few days out, and I am far from solid, but each day becomes a little easier.

I listen to podcasts.
I come here.
Every morning I create a plan to work through those things that will come up throughout the day that will make me want to drink.
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Old 04-21-2016, 12:14 PM
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Originally Posted by doggonecarl View Post
How do people quit? They don't drink.

How do they stay quit? They work a program of recovery that gives them the tools to live a sober life.

They understand the obsession to drink and have learned to combat the urges to drink so they can stay true to their commitment to sobriety.

They accept that they can't drink, ever again. And don't.
That is an adorable puppy you have there lol. I want to go to AA but I have serious social anxiety. Stupid question, but do you think they would accept me on the first night? I'm worried about being an outsider.
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Old 04-21-2016, 12:14 PM
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Originally Posted by TheFuddsofElmer View Post
And thank you all for responding. I will try to listen and respond to all of you while I deal with this binge.

If you are currently drinking, stop. To go back to your original question, How do people quit? They quit by quitting. Not by thinking about quitting, nor by putting quitting off until it's easier, or more convenient. They make the decision to quit and they quit.

So dump the booze and quit.
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Old 04-21-2016, 12:15 PM
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i think this line from AdelineRose is so key:

For the first time I didn't feel like I was giving something up, instead I looked at it as gaining everything and more.

if we feel that putting down the drink or drug is akin to hacking off a limb with toenail clippers, we aren't exactly setting ourselves for a good time. but if we come to believe that we are setting down a very heavy BURDEN, and will then be FREE, we stand a much better chance of STAYING free!
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Old 04-21-2016, 12:16 PM
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Originally Posted by TheFuddsofElmer View Post
TStupid question, but do you think they would accept me on the first night? I'm worried about being an outsider.
Absolutely they'll accept you. You aren't an outsider, you share the one thing that makes you an insider. You're an alcoholic and you want to quit drinking.
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Old 04-21-2016, 12:16 PM
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Originally Posted by BlueBlueBird View Post
I have been where you are. I would wake up in the middle of the night almost every night for the past year, regretting once again drinking that bottle of wine or more every night and promising myself the next day I wouldn't. But by 4pm the next day that little voice inside my head talked me into it and by 7pm I was opening that bottle. Went on for months.

When I realized that voice did NOT want what's best for me and was essentially, a fraud, I learned how to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink. I'm only a few days out, and I am far from solid, but each day becomes a little easier.

I listen to podcasts.
I come here.
Every morning I create a plan to work through those things that will come up throughout the day that will make me want to drink.
It freaks me out though, because of that voice. It originates in my mind and tells me to do the worst thing I could possibly do. Is it me? Why do my friends (and even my brother) have the ability to control drug use, and I don't?

Thank you for responding!
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Old 04-21-2016, 12:18 PM
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Like Opi, I finally reached the point where I desperately wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. And I accepted that I could never drink again. At first, I felt a loss. Then after some sober time I came to see how much I had gained by getting sober.
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Old 04-21-2016, 12:19 PM
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII View Post
i think this line from AdelineRose is so key:

For the first time I didn't feel like I was giving something up, instead I looked at it as gaining everything and more.

if we feel that putting down the drink or drug is akin to hacking off a limb with toenail clippers, we aren't exactly setting ourselves for a good time. but if we come to believe that we are setting down a very heavy BURDEN, and will then be FREE, we stand a much better chance of STAYING free!
Thank you for responding. That quote made me tear up a bit, I cannot lie. I was sober for about 6 months in 2014. I never shook the feeling of "I need a drink". A lot of people say that it takes a lot of time to heal. Maybe I am too ambitious.
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Old 04-21-2016, 12:20 PM
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Originally Posted by least View Post
Like Opi, I finally reached the point where I desperately wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. And I accepted that I could never drink again. At first, I felt a loss. Then after some sober time I came to see how much I had gained by getting sober.
If you do not mind me asking, how old were you when you finally decided that enough was enough?

Also, thank you for responding. This is an amazing community.
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Old 04-21-2016, 12:24 PM
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Originally Posted by Coldfusion View Post
Welcome, Elmer!

For me, it took a week of inpatient detox followed by ninety AA meetings in ninety days. Do whatever it takes!
Hey Coldfusion! Thank you for your input!

I would love to submit myself to a detox center but I just feel terrible taking time off of work. I attempt to live a 'normal' life and yet I continue to drink the way that I do.
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