Coping with shame?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Spain
Posts: 11
Coping with shame?
Hello everyone,
I'm 24 years old and im getting back on the path to sobriety. One thing i really struggle with is the guilt and shame of all the horrible situations i have gotten myself into when i was drunk/blacked out. Does anyone have any suggestions that they've found helpful when dealing with this kind of anxiety?
I'm 24 years old and im getting back on the path to sobriety. One thing i really struggle with is the guilt and shame of all the horrible situations i have gotten myself into when i was drunk/blacked out. Does anyone have any suggestions that they've found helpful when dealing with this kind of anxiety?
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Shame is a driving force for many of us to drink. We drink because of shame, then are ashamed of how we behave when we drink.
Long term sobriety is the best way to deal with the shame of what we've done. Not that we change the past, but we don't have to be doomed to repeat it.
Long term sobriety is the best way to deal with the shame of what we've done. Not that we change the past, but we don't have to be doomed to repeat it.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
The one thing that really helped me was staying sober. We cannot undo or change what has been done, so living our life in a way that prevents those types of things from happening again is very helpful. People will learn to trust and respect us over time as we prove that we can do so.
It's definitely hard to forget those bad things, and in a sense we sometimes need to remember what we were like so we don't go there again. But dwelling on them serves no purpose. If you are dealing with anxiety in a general sense too, seeing a therapist or a counselor could certainly help. If you participate in a 12 step program there are spedific steps to help make amends, deal with our personal issues as well.
It's definitely hard to forget those bad things, and in a sense we sometimes need to remember what we were like so we don't go there again. But dwelling on them serves no purpose. If you are dealing with anxiety in a general sense too, seeing a therapist or a counselor could certainly help. If you participate in a 12 step program there are spedific steps to help make amends, deal with our personal issues as well.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Yes, the shame/blame emotions fuel more drinking so it's good that you're working on dealing with them. I really, really struggled with this and I finally found that journaling helped me a lot. When the feelings hit me, I would just start writing and get it all out. I started to feel better almost right away, but it took months before I stopped writing.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
The bad news... no one has invented a time machine to allow us to change the past.
The good news... there are nearly an endless number of ways to make amends for our mistakes. Go to AA. Get a good sponsor and go through the steps, in order, and one at a time.
There is a solution, but action is necessary.
The good news... there are nearly an endless number of ways to make amends for our mistakes. Go to AA. Get a good sponsor and go through the steps, in order, and one at a time.
There is a solution, but action is necessary.
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