High and Low Weekender April 15th Part 1
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
High and Low Weekender April 15th Part 1
Equilibrium. "A state of opposing forces or influences are balanced."
When is it ok to be not ok I would ask myself. That was a thing with me growing up. "Ken was always OK." I would say it out loud. I had no choice but to be ok. There were no heroes.
When I first realized I had an "issue" I thought I could find my drinking equilibrium, where opposing forces would find their balance. But any alcoholic knows that while drinking there seems to be only one force. The drink.
Desperate one day in April 2012, I did a Google search that landed me at the SR doorstep. I read and I cried and I refused and I denied and I knocked hard on that door. Let me in! The admins did not respond quick enough. I made several requests. I was still buzzed sitting in the parking lot before trying to go into work.
The highs and lows between that day and this have been many. It's become the rhythm of them that seems to make sense to my sober mind. My drunk mind magnified them. High highs and low lows. At least sober I have a chance.
It's ok not to be ok.
That's when things started to improve. Now when I go low I speak up. If nothing, other than to say I am not OK. That's usually all I can muster.
There is not one soul on SR that is not worth saving. Let us know if you're not OK. We will understand.
Welcome to your sober weekend!
Ken
When is it ok to be not ok I would ask myself. That was a thing with me growing up. "Ken was always OK." I would say it out loud. I had no choice but to be ok. There were no heroes.
When I first realized I had an "issue" I thought I could find my drinking equilibrium, where opposing forces would find their balance. But any alcoholic knows that while drinking there seems to be only one force. The drink.
Desperate one day in April 2012, I did a Google search that landed me at the SR doorstep. I read and I cried and I refused and I denied and I knocked hard on that door. Let me in! The admins did not respond quick enough. I made several requests. I was still buzzed sitting in the parking lot before trying to go into work.
The highs and lows between that day and this have been many. It's become the rhythm of them that seems to make sense to my sober mind. My drunk mind magnified them. High highs and low lows. At least sober I have a chance.
It's ok not to be ok.
That's when things started to improve. Now when I go low I speak up. If nothing, other than to say I am not OK. That's usually all I can muster.
There is not one soul on SR that is not worth saving. Let us know if you're not OK. We will understand.
Welcome to your sober weekend!
Ken
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Abroad
Posts: 1,865
Originally Posted by Weasel1966 
Congrats Fabela!!!! A new shotgun face. Good for you!
How are you doing today?
How are you doing today?
How are you, Ken?
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Originally Posted by Olive1
Excellent post, Weasel!!
I'm climbing aboard the sober bus!
I'm climbing aboard the sober bus!
Weekend challenge in store? I think I have the energy to beat you.
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
That sucks. I go see a "something-dontist" today at 9 am to see about the implant. I was told I have a short jaw so doubtful I can. The first guy said nope. To risky. So I will see today and when they tell me thousands of dollars I will succumb to the idea of being toothless on the lower left side.
Try to get some sleep.
Try to get some sleep.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne, Victoria Australia
Posts: 1,202
Hi there Ken,
Just wanted to say what a fabulous opening post - hits right where I'm at currently, about 'am I OK, or not-OK?' and then staying sober either way. You're a champ.
Cheers
Vic
Just wanted to say what a fabulous opening post - hits right where I'm at currently, about 'am I OK, or not-OK?' and then staying sober either way. You're a champ.
Cheers
Vic
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Excellent intro Ken
I'm in Riding on top of the roof 33 months today, my neice finished her dissertation and made me 1 very proud uncle, Mrs sw is off today & tomorrow I'm on cloud 9 and about to kiss mrs sw xxxxx
have a great day guys Awoooooooooooo
I'm in Riding on top of the roof 33 months today, my neice finished her dissertation and made me 1 very proud uncle, Mrs sw is off today & tomorrow I'm on cloud 9 and about to kiss mrs sw xxxxx
have a great day guys Awoooooooooooo
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Good to have you with us bemyself! When I get into a cycle that tries to determine if I am OK or not OK I tend to side on not OK. It's safer. I put my sober plan into action. Cuz if I was really OK? I would not be asking.
Congrats SW on 33 months!!!!! Ride that roof Wolfe! COWABUNGA!
Congrats SW on 33 months!!!!! Ride that roof Wolfe! COWABUNGA!
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Originally Posted by Hypernova
1st time hopping on, hi everyone.
How are you doing?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Abroad
Posts: 1,865
I am going to a party on Saturday. My colleague is having this year's first barbecue (which is hilarious, seeing that it is still freezing cold here), and I accepted. I have no problems going to this party, I will be driving there and I am not going to be tempted to drink. There is something good to not drinking, I can observe the others get more and more inebriated and I can document any episodes that might occur - and retell them Monday morning at work. 
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