amy55

Just have to vent here.

So ya'll know that I am assisting my ex in the alimony modification, since he never did it, and now they are garnishing half of his net pension check for alimony, even though we are actually current now.

I now get part of his federal pension, and he gets part of my federal pension. We are both taxed on what we receive in this pension division.

So........ My attorney needed to know what we had used as taxable alimony for the alimony modification for the year 2015, and what we will use for the year 2016.

Hypothetical figures here. Let's say he was paying me alimony of $1000 a month when he was working. With the pension divisions he now only has to pay me $400 per month.

So, I am already paying taxes on the $600. difference, since it is an entitlement that I am legally entitled to, that I get in a check form from the gov, and taxes are already being taken out of.

So his logic is that he should be able to claim $12,000 as a deduction of alimony, instead of $4800. a year which he is actually paying in alimony.

Ugh.............. You know me. I'm not going to take this BS. I just didn't want to fight or explain things to him like you need to do with a pre-K student.

What gets me the most is that idiot ex of mine had a job doing calculations for the government. So did I. Apparently I was better at it then he was.

((((((((((((hugs))))))))))
amy

hopeful4

What an idiot. Nice.

Ugh. I am so sorry.

Many hugs.

AnvilheadII

you should not have to explain ANYTHING to him, Amy. the attorney asked the question. if the ex chooses to claim $X amount on HIS taxes, that's up to him, right???

again i will ask if this "agreement" is really working out or just keeping you engaged with the ex? if he gets part of YOUR pension, and you part of HIS, why not everybody just take their own pension and avoid the complication? you also said you could survive without the alimony and then be totally DONE with him...........couldn't that be pursued?

wanttobehealthy

It sounds to me like "helping him" sort out the mess he's made by not dealing with doing what he needed to, just puts you in the line of fire...

Can you simply file your taxes, claim what you're allowed to and let him sputter and spin with his rants about what he thinks he's entitled to claim.

I would not provide additional help to him and I would just get my taxes filed with the deductions you are entitled to.

If he chooses to lie on his taxes, that will hopefully come back to bite him.

LexieCat

Why is your attorney involved in this? I could see your accountant wanting to know.

Either way, though, I would just worry about your own taxes and let him figure out his own. If your attorney needs information from him for some reason, let her communicate with him.

amy55

Only doing this because it keeps the attorney fees lower. The alimony modification is because the case is not closed and they will be withholding half his net pension, when he doesn't owe me that. The alimony, the State of NJ will not let go of that until he is 66.

The garnishment was in effect. When they found out where to get the money from, they went after it. I didn't.

amy

dandylion

Just wow.
I am embarrassed to admit that I can't understand any of this kind of financial stuff......when I read it. it just makes my head spin......

**maybe, I accidently took a stupid pill...!?

dandylion

Mountainmanbob

He appears to be tripping.
It don't pay to play with the Tax Man.
MB

LexieCat

Depending on your financial situation, I think it would be well worth the money to let your lawyer do the communicating with him. To me, it's the most valuable service they provide in these situations--eliminating the need to wade into the Sea of Stupid with someone drowning in it.

amy55

I initially involved my attorney to reduce the alimony garnishment. He was sending me the money, but the Court of NJ still had the open case. I just wanted the alimony garnishment to be changed to what he actually did owe me.

I had refused to pay the $350 for the pension split, which the court order decree stated that I should. He totally screwed with me on that, and I did the work myself. I was going to use this $350 for the purpose of changing the alimony amount so that I did not have to see his name show up in my email every month.

I had already been working with my attorney. Now my ex was in trouble because they were taking out 3 x's as much as they should be taking out of his pension.

I offered him a compromise. Let my attorney finish the work, but you need to be cooperative, and you need to pay 50% of the cost. He agreed.

If things were going back and forth between the ex and my atty, things would take forever. My ex actually agreed to be cooperative.

I had already told him, that if this did not go smoothly, I am pulling my atty off the case, and he can get his own, and pay for the whole thing. So I had already been paying my attorney, when all this stuff came up with the way they garnished his check.

Taxes, personally, I am not worried about that. I have proof. He doesn't. I think I was just venting about his stupidity to think that he could count my entitlement to part of his pension, (which I pay taxes on) as part of what he thinks he can deduct as alimony payments. It's not.

The reason I am being decent about this, is because this has to be done anyway. I will get the correct garnishment, (which was already in force), and he will not have his net pension garnished by 50%.

The reason that I will talk to him is to lower the attorney fees. He has been cooperative, just a little bit stupid. I can deal with stupid. If I can't and he gets abusive, I will tell my attorney to drop everything, and he would then need his attorney to adjust the alimony garnishment.

I do have all I need for income tax purposes to prove I did mine right, and that he is "out of his mind". I'm not worried about that at all.

I think my vent here was more to "how can he even think that he could have be doubled charged in taxes?"

That's not going to happen.

amy

amy55

Dandy,

You didn't take a stupid pill. It makes my head spin also.


His alimony is lowered because I am entitled to a part of his pension. That is a legal entitlement that I have taxes deducted from. It reduces his alimony payments. He can't claim that he paid me alimony because of something I am legally entitled to that I pay taxes on and claim it as a deduction for him.

Let's say social security. You may be entitled to a wife's benefit. That is not counted at all as his income. So he can't say well I pay you $400 a month in alimony if you are rec'g that as a wife's benefit. It has nothing to do with him.

amy

amy55

I actually did my taxes a long time ago, with the correct figures, and I have proof of everything. I really don't care what he files.

With the rest, I was already in the mist of doing things. It just turned out that he needed my help to be cooperative, and that was ok, because in the long run, I was getting what I needed.

amy

AnvilheadII

but Amy...just recently you posted about how They Never Go Away....and then again about the email from your ex inviting you to lunch. as long as you are willing to "play nice" and "be cooperative" and thus stay engaged with your ex, you will prolong contact for a long long time.

any suggestion i make is only about ways to sever those ties.....

amy55

It was about how I will play nice as long as he plays nice. It was more about him cooperating then me cooperating. Yes, he wanted to take me out for dinner to show me how "cooperative" he could be.

amy

perhaps I should say, I got my ex by the b@lls right now. He has to cooperate. I'm now the official bully that he should be afraid of. I got my divorce decree and I know how to use it !!!!!!!!!!

amy55

Sometimes, I think people think I went to "stupidville". I can say that that is not the case, but really trying to put money amounts out there is really difficult. I actually did feel like I won this, but I feel like a loser.

amy

amy55

I do think that I will be labeled as stupid here, even though, I am getting what I wanted. It's hard to explain legal aspects of things.. I did win, but I will hold my head in shame and be judged.

amy

This is how this forum made me feel tonight.

LexieCat

Hey, just because some people have different thoughts on approaches doesn't make you stupid, or anyone else judgmental. I think some of us thought you were looking for feedback on how to approach it, but you've figured out what works for YOU, which is just fine.

amy55

I have to admit, I ignored this post all day long, because I felt triggered.

Once you have a garnishment in place the courts don't just drop it. I had this in place. I really didn't think the state would go after my ex for alimony. Most states won't, but my state did.

I was already trying to tell my State to just garnish $400 a month, and the other w $20,000+ in arrears was something we took care of with the pension division.

Before I got that paperwork done the State of NJ garnished my ex's pension check by 50%. Now I could say "praise be God", (that karma bus finally hit you, how does it feel). But none of this was right. I did enjoy the irony of it for awhile, but not too long. I don't want anything more then the divorce decree awarded me.

I then agreed to work with my ex to get this corrected, and to use my attorney since I had already retained her. I had told my ex that if he effed with me, he would regret it. That's why he was being nice, until yesterday when his stupidity kicked in.

I don't care about his stupidity in what he will claim that he paid me in alimony. I have my own records, and once this is done, I will be calling IRS to see if he fraudulently submitted a stupid tax return, and this way , I will not be audited, even though, I have nothing to hide.

I was feeling that people here was thinking that I was being "snowed" or 'stupid". I'm neither of those. I was thinking about running and hiding again. (Isolation). Can't do that either.

Then I was thinking of first posters that come here. It wouldn't look good if I ran.

amy

Refiner

Nah I get it, Amy. And you know what I like best about it? The fact that you have that ugly monster by his b@//s!!!

LexieCat

I'm not so sure you can just get a copy of his tax return. Seriously, amy, let him worry about his own taxes. And it's wonderful to be fair, but notifying the State of any error should be sufficient on your part. Unless you did something to CAUSE the error, let him get the error fixed if they are taking out too much money. If you don't feel right keeping it, put it aside in case they adjust the payments later. If it's never claimed you can donate it to charity.

I know you feel you're doing what you have to do, and I by no means think you're stupid, but please consider how much effort (and expense) you should put into fixing what is, essentially, his problem. You could look at it as another form of enabling. He doesn't have to do anything because you're running around to fix it.

Fair is good, and so is honesty. But your efforts should stop when it starts really costing you all this anxiety and money (legal fees).