What are common causes of relapse?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 125
What are common causes of relapse?
I am wondering what are some common causes of relapse. I have several sisters I was in rehab with who have relapsed in less than a month. That is kinda scary! I have not had the desire to drink at all and keep hearing we relapse before the first drink, so, what are some common causes?
Alive in the Superunknown
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: 30.47ºN, 98.15ºW
Posts: 1,460
Stress, overconfidence, lack of motivation, failure to develop a solid plan, the absence of a true desire to quit ... I imagine there are as many explanations for relapses as there are relapsers. But the final cause is picking up the drink and not saying "no", and that is common to all of us who have lapsed.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
I can relapse over anything. I've had a bad day, I've had a good day, I'm stressed, I'm angry, I'm thrilled, I'm happy. Doesn't matter. For me, when my recovery is headed in the right direction, my thinking is healthy. I am in control of my emotions. I am choosing how to react to things that are out of my control. I am aware that I'm not a victim and that I choose how I'm treated. No one can make me angry, hurt me, take advantage of me, stress me out, unless I let them. No situation can do anything to me that I'm not a party to. I always have a choice. When I allow myself to be in situations or with people that are not healthy for me, I'm playing the victim and allowing myself to be triggered. Or if something bad does happen (an accident or something else out of my control) I can either accept that this is life and bad things do happen. Or I can sing the 'woe is me, I'm such a victim' song.
I don't know if any of that makes sense, but part of recovery for me is realizing that anything is a trigger if I want it to be.
I don't know if any of that makes sense, but part of recovery for me is realizing that anything is a trigger if I want it to be.
NA Member - Atheist
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Middletown CT USA
Posts: 770
Only one.
Deciding to use.
In the NA "how it works" reading it says "the only way to keep from returning to active addiction is not to take that first drug".
Using "just a bit" or a different drug (including alcohol) doesn't contribute to or lead to relapse, it is relapse.
Why do people decide to start using again? In my experience watching my peers, talking to members ir NA with more experience, reading the literature, and wrestling with my own feelings I've come to a few conclusions.
Real life shows up. Everything doesn't become rainbows and unicorns when we get clean. We have to deal with real emotions. We seem to feel life so strongly that we are willing to do anything to escape it, even if it kills us. We become willing to trade a moment's relief "right now" for a lifetime of pain and suffering. We also struggle with guilt and shame and low self worth and self esteem. That can make us wish to escape. We also seem to believe that any discomfort or urges we feel will never go away. "This too shall pass" makes no sense to us.
Having said all that, when we want to use, any excuse will do.
The only way to not relapse is to not get loaded. However, I have found that the process of recovery (in my case the steps), association with other recovering addicts, and the willingness to take guidance and direction from those who have been in the same depths of despair that I was but have found a way out, all contribute to a state of mind where I no longer want to use. I like who I have become now.
Recovery isn't easy, but it is worth it. Get used to most of the people around you relapsing. It's not that recovery plans don't work, it's that people stop (or never start) following them.
Deciding to use.
In the NA "how it works" reading it says "the only way to keep from returning to active addiction is not to take that first drug".
Using "just a bit" or a different drug (including alcohol) doesn't contribute to or lead to relapse, it is relapse.
Why do people decide to start using again? In my experience watching my peers, talking to members ir NA with more experience, reading the literature, and wrestling with my own feelings I've come to a few conclusions.
Real life shows up. Everything doesn't become rainbows and unicorns when we get clean. We have to deal with real emotions. We seem to feel life so strongly that we are willing to do anything to escape it, even if it kills us. We become willing to trade a moment's relief "right now" for a lifetime of pain and suffering. We also struggle with guilt and shame and low self worth and self esteem. That can make us wish to escape. We also seem to believe that any discomfort or urges we feel will never go away. "This too shall pass" makes no sense to us.
Having said all that, when we want to use, any excuse will do.
The only way to not relapse is to not get loaded. However, I have found that the process of recovery (in my case the steps), association with other recovering addicts, and the willingness to take guidance and direction from those who have been in the same depths of despair that I was but have found a way out, all contribute to a state of mind where I no longer want to use. I like who I have become now.
Recovery isn't easy, but it is worth it. Get used to most of the people around you relapsing. It's not that recovery plans don't work, it's that people stop (or never start) following them.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Down South
Posts: 709
I agree with almost everything mentioned. For me, the biggest cause is overwhelming emotion-anger, sadness, regret, even happiness at times. I drank to keep feelings bottled in. Learning how to deal with my feelings and not drink them away is my challenge. I am working on mindfulness based relapse prevention right now and that is helping so far, and not just with alcohol, but food too, which I also abuse.
Good luck to you! You're smart to be prepared!
Good luck to you! You're smart to be prepared!
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