Evienne

After another relapse I have strengthened my resolve. My plan is still a bit wonky though. For now: Just survive, somehow.

It's because my life is pretty stressful at the moment. Being evicted, being stalked, being manipulated. My last relapse was when I was finally beginning to feel good, pink cloudish, on day 17. I'm self destructive and appearantly don't deserve to feel good. So I have to stay grounded. Promised myself I might look for another animal in need to care for, if I manage to stay sober for a month and quit smoking.

I am only on day 7 though, but something great happened. I got invited to a job interview last week, surprised me and made me hopeful. Consequently worked there a couple of hours to try out, which made me almost believe in myself and just now, I got a call back that I am hired! Went through the roof. This is an institution for disabled people, and I start in the kitchen, but they hinted at administrative work if I play my cards right. They also offer paid education in caretaking so it is the opportunity of a lifetime!

Of course, there is a catch. They asked for a certificate of good conduct. I am not sure I will get it because there have been incidents. If I get turned down, I know I deserve it, but it just sucks. I won't drink over it though. My plan is to just spill the beans, be straight up about everything that might turn up on the certificate and hope that honesty really is the best policy.

When did your previous behaviours bite you in the arse? And how did you handle it, what was the outcome? Did you feel people were forgiving?

360startstoday

This morning!

So, I've been divorced 10 years from my first husband. He had horrible credit and I was young and dumb. He asked that I open some accounts (co-sign on a loan and several credit cards), he would pay the bills on all of these. Well needless to say, he never paid one payment! I have worked for years to repair my credit from this.

Well, this morning I get a call from a debt collector, I'm thinking, um NO, all my bills are paid, I don't miss payments. Well, there are FOUR accounts, one dating back 12 years, one 11 and 2 ten years. They want me to pay a settlement for each of them. These things are not and have not been on my credit, I didn't even know. These were all a result of my marriage.

So I also have a dilemma. Do I go ahead and pay these? I mean, I don't have any of the things that were bought, they were all his purchases. But its really not the companies problem that I was an idiot. I'm kind of looking at it like, well, if I don't pay them, now that I am aware, isn't that the equivalent to stealing? These places spent this money you know...

Anyway, on your thing, I agree that honesty is the best policy. I hope they see you working at it and you will be rewarded for your honesty!

Berrybean

A certificate of good conduct from who? I don't understand what that is (must be a regional thing - I am in the uk).

I AA one of the wonderful things about step work is getting the opportunity to work on the wreckage of our past. Understanding what our part in it what, and why we make similar mistakes time after time, and learning from that so we can change. Clearing the wreckage is sometimes more of an inside job than an outside job. We can be our own harshest judges, and This feeds into our self destruct tendencies.

I hope you get the certificate or letter or whatever but is you need. If not, we'll at least you have learned that there are people out there who want you to work for them.

Soberwolf

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

Anna

Do you mean like a Police clearance type of certificate? Those are required in Canada for most types of jobs where you work in any kind of caregiving, child care, type of situation.

Soberish

I had a job interview a few years back, and I didnt think I had to do a background check so I made it seem like my record was clean as a whistle. Once i found out I had to do a background check I panicked and went in all kinds of crazy circles in my head because I really wanted the job. I eventually decided that honesty was the best policy, came clean and told them about some of my prior offenses, some alcohol related DUIs and some other non alcohol related incidents. I told the lady who interviewed me that I was afraid I wouldnt get the job and that's why I didnt mention it. She was surprisingly very understandable and it turned out to be the best job I've had so far.

If you happen to not get the job just remember that the longer you go down the right path, the more your past of bad deeds will fade. So I think its a good idea not to drink if you dont get the job, because eventually this situation will arise again and you can be better prepared next time.

I really hope you get the job because sometimes that extra push in the positive direction is beneficial to our sobriety in MANY ways. Please take care.

Evienne

Thanks for your input! Yes, it is a police clearance thing. They look back several years into your files and, if relevant, you can be denied the papers. I do agree it has to be done, you don't want a taxi driver with DUI's or someone who molested a child in foster care or anything like that. Luckily mine isn't that bad and my worst misconduct was 11 years ago, so likely that won't show up, but there was an incident 2 years ago, after I was mauled and the cops thought I was drunk. For once, I wasn't, but I did resist arrest and accidentally hit a cop in the process. I've looked it up and if my clearance is denied, I get the opportunity to explain. This settles my mind a bit, I still have the hospital bills and pictures of my face after that happened, anyone would've been confused after such a punch in the noggin. I just hate having to go back to that day, but I have to, over and over.

Wow, 360, so you're even being punished for someone else's misbehaviour. That's horrible. I hope you have an opportunity to give this one back to your ex husband. I don't think you were dumb, just naive and that shouldn't be punished so severely. Maybe there's legal help available since you only co-signed, so there has to be proof that he was involved?

Beccybean, you get the certificate from the justice department, and you take it to your employer. Unfortunately there's only one AA-meeting a week and it's 15 miles away. But I will read the big book and see what I can take from it.

Thanks soberwolf, I will be making a better plan. When drinking, I didn't realise I had so many reasons to reach for the bottle. Depression, happiness, anger, boredom, social anxiety, sadness, the list goes on.

Evienne

You are absolutely right Soberish. If I keep drinking, it's only more likely I'll add to the list. And I do need the job. Being at home and bored and insecure isn't helping my recovery.

That's what I'll do. Be straight up. I already told them about the abuse I suffered and how long it took me to get well again, and they still want to take a chance on me so there goes nothing

Dee74

I hope you get the job Evienne. Rooting for you

D

Berrybean

Good luck with the job.

Another book that you might find useful Living Sober. Also, there are online meetings on here that people get a lot from which you could try. I haven't myself, but I'm sure people will fill you in about them.