So back again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 157
So back again.
On the tail end of a 5 day bender coupled with an average of 20mg of valium everyday to help me get even more intoxicated. Just woke up and feeling **** absolute crap. Constant runs, havent been able to stomach anything any except for when i'm drunk. I'm so paranoid that i've done some permanent damage to myself this time. Whether its wet brain or nerve damage to my legs not to mention finally lost my girlfriend who is at the end of her tether with me. I'm dizzy, and finally ready to admit after several busts that there will be no quick fix to this problem. I surrender to alcoholism. I have lost control over it. My life has become unmanageable. I cant even begin to explain how many times i've come on here after a bender or gone to an AA meeting thinking that i cant relate to anyone and that i truly dont have a problem. My question is this. Has anyone else had a bender of a similar nature? Where ridiculous quantities of alcohol have been consumed and they have made a full recovery? No permanent damage? Not looking for medical advice but rather personal experiences? Am i addicted to valium? Or has it been too short a timeframe? My last drink was at around 2-3 pm yesterday afternoon. Am i out of the danger zone? Thanks again in advance. And the next welcome that i get for being here will be my final as i'm certainly not going anywhere.
Lots of love x
Lots of love x
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
NA Member - Atheist
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Middletown CT USA
Posts: 770
Have you had enough?
To answer one of your questions, in my experience, it's not relevant if you are physically addicted to a drug (in this case Valium), it's the fact that you're using it addictively.
In NA I learned that it didn't matter what drugs I used. Being clean meant I had to abstain from all of them. 32 years earlier, when my sponsor got clean and sober in AA, an old timer then told him that AA stood for "absolute abstinence". What you use or how much doesn't matter. - Getting loaded is getting loaded.
In the end, all of your questions are irrelevant. The stark truth is, if you don't change what you're doing, you're going to die, and it's going to be a miserable ride getting there.
So, have you had enough?
If so, don't worry. Help is available. You don't ever have to feel this way again.
To answer one of your questions, in my experience, it's not relevant if you are physically addicted to a drug (in this case Valium), it's the fact that you're using it addictively.
In NA I learned that it didn't matter what drugs I used. Being clean meant I had to abstain from all of them. 32 years earlier, when my sponsor got clean and sober in AA, an old timer then told him that AA stood for "absolute abstinence". What you use or how much doesn't matter. - Getting loaded is getting loaded.
In the end, all of your questions are irrelevant. The stark truth is, if you don't change what you're doing, you're going to die, and it's going to be a miserable ride getting there.
So, have you had enough?
If so, don't worry. Help is available. You don't ever have to feel this way again.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
It's absolutely amazing how hard an alcoholic will fight to deny they are an alcoholic. They will fight and fight and fight to be able to keep drinking. all the while losing one thing after another. Just shows how strong addiction is. I heard someone say at a meeting that it is much harder to get sober than it is to stay sober, and that's the truth.
Have you accepted the fact that you're an alcoholic? I mean, really accepted it with no reservations. If you have; are you willing to work your tail off to get sober, including the pain and misery that always comes in early sobriety, and make all the changes you need to make to stay sober?
I really hope you are, cause things will only get worse the longer you put it off. John
Have you accepted the fact that you're an alcoholic? I mean, really accepted it with no reservations. If you have; are you willing to work your tail off to get sober, including the pain and misery that always comes in early sobriety, and make all the changes you need to make to stay sober?
I really hope you are, cause things will only get worse the longer you put it off. John
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,055
Oh, the madness, the insanity of it all...by our own hands we do this to ourselves.
Making "My life is unmanageable and "I surrender to alcoholism" stick...really stick, will limit your health concerns and improve your overall health.
I hope you will be okay, stop drinking and drugging now...talk to the doctor about your health. Have you got a plan to support you?.
Making "My life is unmanageable and "I surrender to alcoholism" stick...really stick, will limit your health concerns and improve your overall health.
I hope you will be okay, stop drinking and drugging now...talk to the doctor about your health. Have you got a plan to support you?.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Dim 
I'm so paranoid that i've done some permanent damage to myself this time. Whether its wet brain or nerve damage to my legs ...
I'll echo what others have said, the best thing you can do for your health is permanent sobriety. Accept it, then find a recovery method that will support that decision.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,366
Hi Dim
I drank all day everyday for 5 years and although I would not say I came through unscathed, I'm doing more than OK
I'm not sure what good this information does you, tho cos I'm not you
If you're worried about your health you know the drill - go see the Doctor
The bottom line is the less you drink from now on the more chance you have for a complete recovery.
I agree with Carl that fear of the health consequences is not enough to make you stop. You've proved that.
I'd start looking for more support and using it - make a really sturdy recovery plan - soberwolf gave you some awesome links
D
I drank all day everyday for 5 years and although I would not say I came through unscathed, I'm doing more than OK
I'm not sure what good this information does you, tho cos I'm not you
If you're worried about your health you know the drill - go see the Doctor
The bottom line is the less you drink from now on the more chance you have for a complete recovery.
I agree with Carl that fear of the health consequences is not enough to make you stop. You've proved that.
I'd start looking for more support and using it - make a really sturdy recovery plan - soberwolf gave you some awesome links
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi Dim,
having a little sober time under my belt, I read that and it sounds horrible. I believe if you can get some significant time under your belt, go back and read that post and see how you view it. Nothing sounds enjoyable. My point is, it sounds like you are ready to put these episodes behind you. You're worth it and you can do it.
having a little sober time under my belt, I read that and it sounds horrible. I believe if you can get some significant time under your belt, go back and read that post and see how you view it. Nothing sounds enjoyable. My point is, it sounds like you are ready to put these episodes behind you. You're worth it and you can do it.
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