CharlyK

The past few years my drinking has increased a lot. I'm caught in the viscous cycle of depression and alcoholism. Last August I managed an 18 day sober streak. Through out the fall and up until now I have been getting far worse. I'm a binge drinker and I need to stop. I feel like I failed myself and my family. Sunday I drank too much and blacked out and threw up all over myself. My husband cared for me all night and made sure I slept on my side. He changed my clothes 3 times. If I was alone I could have died choking on my vomit. Add insult to injury, my children saw this unfold. I need to get well and be the wife and mother I was before I went down this path. I'm scared because my husband is an alcoholic too. I tell him to hide the booze from me but everytime it comes back in the house I over do it. Sorry for the rambling but I'm a bit beside myself. I'm overwhelmed and scared. I want to succeed, it is all just so scary. Thanks for listening.

doggonecarl

Welcome.

Of course its scary. It's day one. Change is always scary and I don't know of a much bigger change than going from drunk to sober...and staying sober.

But it's not scarier than being so drunk you choke on your own vomit.

least

Welcome to the family. I'm glad you joined us. The best advice I ever got about getting sober was that you must want to be sober more than you want to drink. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

Opivotal

Welcome CharlyK!

Sure you're scared, we understand. Reaching out for help is the first step.

Support and a good sober plan will help you enormously.

Here are some great links.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

CountryGal123

Welcome CharlyK - I can completely relate to your story. My hubs and I have the same issue. And in the past when I've tried to quit he's gotten mad at me that he can't have any alcohol in the house.

I'm also hopeful after this last 5 day bender that he realizes that wine and beer -for me - are always gateways to hard liquor. And once I have hard liquor in the house, that's it. Show's over. I'm calling in to work (which is now also in jeopardy as of November) and having a vodka attack.

I'm on day 2 and want you to know you're not alone. I'm hoping that finding this site gives me the support I need to really make it this time. Because I know my window of opportunity continues to narrow. And it's only a matter of time before a comeback is impossible.

Welcome :}

CharlyK

I've tried on my own but I need to reach out for support. I want to live my life and be happy and be a better wife and mother. As embarrassed as I am about sunday, I think I needed something horrible to really hit home. I always had an excuse. There is no excusing what happened that day. Thanks in advance for any support.

Fabela

Charly, are you willing to make the changes you need to make in order to be the wife and mother you were before? It is going to be extremely difficult, and with an alcoholic husband the challenge is even greater, but you are going to be so happy that you decided to sober up. You have already made the first and most important step, you have admitted that you have a problem. You also have the chance to change the lives of the most important people in the world; your children. Do you want them to grow up with two alcoholic parents? Or do you want to be a responsible parent and put your children first?

These were the questions I had to ask myself when I finally admitted I had a problem. That made all the difference. I had to change. I had no choice. And now, after no more than three weeks, I see how the kids have changed. They are happier, they want to be around me, and most important of all; they can be kids again. They don't need to be careful around me, afraid of what I might do or say. I am grateful for that, and I say that to myself every single day.

You have the power, use it! Use the forum, there are so many people here who want to help, and you need to make a plan for your recovery.

Welcome to the forum, and good luck.

Soberwolf

Welcome CharlyK

Coldfusion

Welcome, CharlyK!

I hope this is the start of a permanent recovery for you. SoberRecovery can be a great source of information and inspiration. Read around and post often!

Here's a couple good threads to join:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5888344

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-1-a.html

Curlync

Welcome Charly,
Happy you found this forum. I know how scary and hard this is, I hope for your sake you decide you want sober more than the drinking. I am 65 days in and although i have had dry bouts (nothing this long before) I finally admitted that I have no control and that I couldn't be sober without help. I chose not to go to treatment but I did join AA and this forum and the positive changes in just 2 months have been amazing.
If you get a plan and get help and work for it, as hard as you worked at drinking, it will get easier and so much better. Good Luck!!

CharlyK

I do want to make the change. My children deserve so much more. I need to be the mother I was before I became dependant on alcohol. Thank you all for your comments. Today is day 2. My husband and I made a plan to go into our room when I get home from work and have some quiet time and talk before bed. He removed all the alcohol from the house and we are going to create a new evening routine away from the rooms we always associated with drinking. I hope I can lead by example and help him as well.

Zeroine

Welcome, and well done on taking these steps.

You might want to read about making a recovery plan:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

Sending you support.

Anna

Hi Charly,

Welcome and I'm glad you want to change your life. You can be the mother, wife and person you want to be. Your plan sounds good and yes, lead by example and focus on yourself and what you need to do this.

amazingjoy

Hi CharlyK! I'm a Mommy too and I still can't believe I have become exactly what I would NEVER have wanted my daughter to have to deal with. It happened slowly over time and I really regret what she has already been exposed to. I hope to use my own story as an example for her one day (hopefully a good example).

If you have not already learned this, SR has monthly classes that you can join and they are a great place for support and helpful resources/information. The April class is still just getting started so maybe you can come join us there?

CharlyK

Thank you. I read through one of the links for a recovery plan that involved a binder. I was excited reading it because it already helped me realize somethings I need to change and the change will be great, not horrible. I feel like some weight has been lifted just realizing little things like planning to go to bed the same time every day and finding a healthier habit to fill the time when I would drink can help so much. I know it is going to be a hell of a journey but I've felt more energetic about this than ever before. I always tried to go it alone and wouldn't tell people because I was embarassed. Just one day in this supportive forum and I feel like I'm armed better than ever. Thank you again. Also I'd be interested in this class, where can I find it?

Fabela

Here's the April class: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-1-a.html