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Please give me some advice!

Old 09-21-2004, 07:50 AM
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Please give me some advice!

Hello! First of all I really hope that I'm in the right place for this post. Apologies if I'm not!

I'll give you some background on the problem first. My best friend and I are both 23. We've known each other since the age of 3 and have done everything together all our lives.

At the age of 19 we both started 'experimenting' with various different drugs - LSD and Mushrooms to coke and ecstacy and other well known ones in between apart from crack and heroin. At the time the whole group we used to hang around with were doing it too. For us it was just a phase - and a really fun one I dont regret either. We've all grown out of it now and none of us use drugs anymore (apart from the odd joint at weekends). This is with the exception of my best friend. She's got a coke habbit going on. I wasn't worried at first because of my first-hand experience with it. Basically she's now been doing it since February this year every weekend without fail. It started off where the coke session would finish at around 4 in the morning. She's now doing it all night and for a lot of the next day. We hang around with a coke dealer who also does crack. Its never been a problem to me as I dont think twice about saying no to coke or crack so its not got in the way of our friendship (I knew this guy before he started using crack and dealing). I'm now worried as this friend of ours gives her loads of coke and doesn't ask for anything in return (he likes to have someone to do it all night with). She's not tried crack and I don't think that she will but I'm worried as this is now unknown territory for me. She did a 16 hour binge the other week and she and our friend got through 7 grams. Another night I had a party and none of the people who I invited around were into drugs so there wern't any there except she had a sneaky gram on her which she did completely by herself. She spent most of the night upstairs on her own. This is becoming a problem as I can't keep up with her as I don't have the energy because I'm not doing it. I don't know what to do. If I suggest not hanging around with him she doesn't mind but then half way through the night we'll 'bump' into him and she'll get some or she'll just get it anyway. Either way no matter what happens she's at it every weekend. Her character is changing as well - she's lost a bit of weight (not loads) and has become self-obsessed. She puts me down and goes on about how attractive she is and how many men fancy her (some of which don't). I can handle that but I'm worried about her because its not like her. I know she's not using it during the week but weekends she gets about 4 hours sleep max. Its not good for her and I don't know what to do. I've told her to slow down and that I'm worried about her (as are our friends) but she says she's enjoying herself and she doesn't have a problem and she's fine and to stop going on about it.

Sorry to go on but as I said before I'm worried and have no experience with this kind of use. Please help!

Thanks for reading this!
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Old 09-21-2004, 08:37 AM
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Hi Skyla...you are in the right place. Unfortuanately, I am not someone who can give you adivce - but, someone will, I promise. Hang in there - it's nice to see that you care enough about your friend to reach out...
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Old 09-21-2004, 09:06 AM
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Chy
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HI and welcome!

Well it seems she's let it take hold of her, not pupoesfully I'm sure. Thus addicts result. But I'm afraid your concern is about as far as your going to get in helping her see it's begining to be a problem. She's probably obsessed with the high, can't seem to function anymore without the buzz, and does not realize, her "self" is deteriorating away, layer by layer. Unless he has specifically asked for help your attempts to make her, help her, or force her to quit will be futile and she'll eventually resent you for it, which is "her addict self" speaking to her. Right now she's still in the "party on" phase, and she won't see or realize what you do. Eventually, she'll get to the "hopeless" stage, and hopefully, then be willing to get help. Good luck, we'll be praying for her.
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Old 09-21-2004, 09:13 AM
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Thanks for the advice. Hope you don't mind me asking questions about it - but do you think that I'll have to wait until she realises she has a problem? I'm getting to the point where I want to do different things at the weekend and go out with the old group again but because there are no drugs there anymore so she's not up for coming. I feel that I should continue to hang around with her and this guy so that I can keep an eye on her (even though there's nothing I can do). I'm just dreading the time when she begins using it during the week.

She still lives with her parents and I was even thinking about telling her mum who is totally oblivious to it but I think it will do more harm than good so I'm going to keep quiet for now. I just wish she had never discovered it in the first place or at least got sick of it like I did. Thanks for your help though.
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Old 09-21-2004, 09:28 AM
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Hi Skyla,

I have to agree with Chy. Unfortunately, all you can do for her now is pray. As for not hanging out with your other friends because you want to keep an eye on her, I say don't quit your other friends. Maybe if you let go of the friendship a little, she may see there's a problem. I'm not saying to forget about her, but maybe take a few steps back. There's a friends and family forum here also that may be helpful to you. Look around and check out other posts. We will be praying for you and your friend.

Sherry
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Old 09-21-2004, 09:53 AM
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Thanks for your kind words! I'll have a look through the other posts as well
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