My first post
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Eastern Connecticut
Posts: 39
My first post
I am not really sure what to say, but I figured I would give this a shot considering I am too hesitant to attend AA at this time. Basically I really need to find a positive support system or people who can relate to the trouble of alcoholic addiction. I know I would find precisely that if I would just go to AA, but something is stopping me.
I was about six days sober, but then ended up drinking Monday and last night. A pity, but things happen. I am in my young twenties and I have created quite a problem with this liquid poision. I work a mindless job and I frequently drink while on the clock. I don't want to. I am somewhat content with where life is at for the moment, but some kind of strong compulsion drives me to go to the liquor store, purchase my poision of choice, and become intoxicated. Maybe I do it in order to feel the unfortunate comfort I find in depression or maybe I'm just bored. Either way, it's a dreadful cycle I want to put to a halt.
For the past year and a half I've gotten drunk a many of times and have slept with over a dozen different strangers that I've met on the internet. Cheating on my girlfriend at the time, driving her away, choosing alcohol over any other activity. It was the center of my life and I drank, and drank, and drank until it lost all its appeal. I've been lucky enough not to have gotten a DUI, but still have crashed/fell asleep while driving drunk once and rear ended someone another time. I've been reckless and I want out.
My point is that I recognize I have a problem but I feel unable to stop by myself. I know that I can, but I need that drive. I lost my funk and I have been searching and searching.
Anyways, this was my first post and I know it was a lot but there you have it.
I was about six days sober, but then ended up drinking Monday and last night. A pity, but things happen. I am in my young twenties and I have created quite a problem with this liquid poision. I work a mindless job and I frequently drink while on the clock. I don't want to. I am somewhat content with where life is at for the moment, but some kind of strong compulsion drives me to go to the liquor store, purchase my poision of choice, and become intoxicated. Maybe I do it in order to feel the unfortunate comfort I find in depression or maybe I'm just bored. Either way, it's a dreadful cycle I want to put to a halt.
For the past year and a half I've gotten drunk a many of times and have slept with over a dozen different strangers that I've met on the internet. Cheating on my girlfriend at the time, driving her away, choosing alcohol over any other activity. It was the center of my life and I drank, and drank, and drank until it lost all its appeal. I've been lucky enough not to have gotten a DUI, but still have crashed/fell asleep while driving drunk once and rear ended someone another time. I've been reckless and I want out.
My point is that I recognize I have a problem but I feel unable to stop by myself. I know that I can, but I need that drive. I lost my funk and I have been searching and searching.
Anyways, this was my first post and I know it was a lot but there you have it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
Welcome, Charx.
We've all been where you're at, but you have a present luxury many of us didn't -- you're realizing you have a problem and attempting to do something about it at a younger age than most.
Keep an open mind to suggestions and post and read here; it helped many before you.
We've all been where you're at, but you have a present luxury many of us didn't -- you're realizing you have a problem and attempting to do something about it at a younger age than most.
Keep an open mind to suggestions and post and read here; it helped many before you.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi and welcome Charx 
whether you go to AA or not, I think it's important to accept the responsibility for our recovery - things actually don't 'happen', we make choices.
I'm not trying to put you down at all - I think it's vital we recognise we're not victims in all of this - we can change our life...we hold the key
D
whether you go to AA or not, I think it's important to accept the responsibility for our recovery - things actually don't 'happen', we make choices.
I'm not trying to put you down at all - I think it's vital we recognise we're not victims in all of this - we can change our life...we hold the key
D
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
