azure808

It's a vicious circle . Not drinking makes one deal with real life, real emotions and fears. Feeling really guilty about my life, kids seeing me drunk for instance. I'll channel it to something positive. Just hard to not drink to cope with it. Drinking out of guilt which brings more guilt on. Think I've had a guilt complex my whole life.

ScottFromWI

Yes, dealing with real emotions, fears and life is difficult. And you are exactly right that drinking makes it even harder. Staying focused on the present and the concept of mindfulness has been somewhat of a help to me in this area, not sure if you've ever explored it or not.

nova84

There's some really good self forgiveness exercises you can find online. I've also had to start dealing with those difficult emotions and feelings I had been trying to supress with alcohol. I have also found therapy has helped a great deal. Good luck on your journey x

azure808

I am aware of the practice . I'm trying to accept things and unburden myself from more guilt by seeing the good I've done (I've raised my kids myself) and what I'm trying to do. And to relax.

Soberwolf

In time you will learn to forgive yourself

azure808

I think so. My mum said I should learn to love myself

teatreeoil007

In some cases I can see where a certain amount of guilt can bring about needed change. But in other cases it can get to the point of being pointless; meaning: it's not doing much good and just makes a person unhappy and unable to move on.

Our tendency to pack guilt around is often rooted in childhood; messages we got from our parents and other influences; either direct messages or subtle messages.

One of hardest things for recovering addicts is learning to forgive themselves and unburden themselves from needless guilt.

azure808

Wise words treeteaoil (love the name btw). I guess I'm in early stages of recovery , emotions all over the place. It's good to tackle things head on as opposed to rushing to empty a bottle. I guess we learn much about ourselves as we recover. I've forgotten who I am. All I know is I'm sorry and I'm trying hard , painful as it may be. I want to be the best dad and person I can as long as I'm around on this planet.

DoubleBarrel

Guilt is a really tough obstacle for me. I was a bad person when i drank.
Time, meditation, researching addiction, and the 12 steps have all helped me greatly.

I still have trouble forgiving myself for some things. But as you stated, drinking over it would only compound the issue.

azure808

I'm glad you've found some peace. I'm glad it's possible. I too shudder at some of the stuff I've said and done. It changed my personality in ways is never imagined

Dee74

Once you accept that drinking only makes the guilt the shame and the problem worse , it's a pretty simple choice tho.

Simple - not necessarily easy - but you have support here and access to a wide range of ideas and tools

Have faith that not drinking will lead you out of that guilt merry-go-round

D

azure808

I will Dee thanks