Break up email
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
Break up email
So, into the history books goes relationship with nice ish seeming guy who decided to EMAIL me and tell me that my xAH's behavior concerned him for HIMSELF and that as a result he could not see me anymore...
Not sure I can totally blame him, but way to be a total jacka$$ and email me to tell me this vs having the decency to man up and tell me to my face...
There was more to it than that but the jist of it is that xAH's reputation precedes him, and this guy decided my value was directly tied to the concern about xAH turning his crazy on him...
And I haven't gotten into any sort of detail with him about xAH. This is what he's dug up himself I guess to make him alarmed.
So it appears whether it is friendships for my kids or relationships for me, unless I move cross country, xAH or his reputation are going to continue to cause harm.
Sigh.... Better to know this now I guess...
Not sure I can totally blame him, but way to be a total jacka$$ and email me to tell me this vs having the decency to man up and tell me to my face...
There was more to it than that but the jist of it is that xAH's reputation precedes him, and this guy decided my value was directly tied to the concern about xAH turning his crazy on him...
And I haven't gotten into any sort of detail with him about xAH. This is what he's dug up himself I guess to make him alarmed.
So it appears whether it is friendships for my kids or relationships for me, unless I move cross country, xAH or his reputation are going to continue to cause harm.
Sigh.... Better to know this now I guess...
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,002
Arghh Wanttobehealthy!
Are you laughing or crying? I'm not saying the situation is funny but sometimes things just seem so bad that it is almost good.
I do hope i haven't offended you here WTBH but I just find so many "Prince Charmings" so absolutely non charming and non princely that I have to laugh.
Are you laughing or crying? I'm not saying the situation is funny but sometimes things just seem so bad that it is almost good.
I do hope i haven't offended you here WTBH but I just find so many "Prince Charmings" so absolutely non charming and non princely that I have to laugh.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,905
Awwww, I'm sorry. 
If he isn't willing to stand by you through the crap your ex is putting you through, then yes, you are lucky to find that out now. It's just a shame that he wasn't man enough to talk to you about it in person. What a wimp.
If he isn't willing to stand by you through the crap your ex is putting you through, then yes, you are lucky to find that out now. It's just a shame that he wasn't man enough to talk to you about it in person. What a wimp.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
Sometimes people go looking for reasons just because they're really good at the first few weeks of newness and oxytocin highs and rainbows and kittens, but can't handle the realities of negotiating a relationship with an actual human being.
So, in short, he may be full of it and this doesn't mean you have to move to Pluto to avoid the taint of your ex. The right guy will admire what you've been through and survived.
Have a hug.
So, in short, he may be full of it and this doesn't mean you have to move to Pluto to avoid the taint of your ex. The right guy will admire what you've been through and survived.
Have a hug.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,388
Please try not to take it too hard. His actions are his actions, his opinions are his, and he is entitled to them. And he is also entitled to the possibility of being wrong. Hey, at least he did tell you how he felt, not face-to-face, true, but at least he did not pretend.
Just keep working on yourself, and good, genuine people, both men and women, will come into your life. It is the law of attraction.
Just keep working on yourself, and good, genuine people, both men and women, will come into your life. It is the law of attraction.
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 142
Hugs. As others have said, so much better that you know now. You will the one who will be there for you through all the crazy and the good times too, and you are worth it.
Breaking up with you by email is a total coward move, good riddance!
Breaking up with you by email is a total coward move, good riddance!
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
That is low from anyone when you break up over email or text. Just plain cowardly, honestly. I can understand his concerns but still. You want a man who will defend you and want to protect you and yours from your XAH if he is someone who causes harm or dysfunction. Hugs and prayers to you. I'm sorry it went down this way.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
I had my qualms after his texts of a few weeks ago and I have been very cautious about what I share and don't as I don't need to "lead" with drama about the x...
So what irks me most here is that he drew a whole lot of conclusions, assumptions and presented as facts, a whole lot of things that are outright wrong.
And I am in no way, 4 months into this, going to spend time trying to explain to him how he has it wrong.
Anyone who makes up their mind about a matter without speaking to the other person and getting some broader knowledge to inform their decisions, deserves to miss out...
I'm supremely annoyed with what a wuss he was to email me and frankly the email is more annoying than it would have been if he'd gone totally silent...
It's a good indication of progress for me that I did not reply and try and "explain"...
Someone who doesn't want to ask a question or talk to me face to face, doesn't warrant my reply to his pathetic email...
Lame. His loss.
So what irks me most here is that he drew a whole lot of conclusions, assumptions and presented as facts, a whole lot of things that are outright wrong.
And I am in no way, 4 months into this, going to spend time trying to explain to him how he has it wrong.
Anyone who makes up their mind about a matter without speaking to the other person and getting some broader knowledge to inform their decisions, deserves to miss out...
I'm supremely annoyed with what a wuss he was to email me and frankly the email is more annoying than it would have been if he'd gone totally silent...
It's a good indication of progress for me that I did not reply and try and "explain"...
Someone who doesn't want to ask a question or talk to me face to face, doesn't warrant my reply to his pathetic email...
Lame. His loss.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
So it appears whether it is friendships for my kids or relationships for me, unless I move cross country, xAH or his reputation are going to continue to cause harm.
It's a good indication of progress for me that I did not reply and try and "explain"...
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy 
It's a good indication of progress for me that I did not reply and try and "explain"...
How weak of him, but good that he showed his true colors early on so you don't waste your time.
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,393
Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy
I had my qualms after his texts of a few weeks ago and I have been very cautious about what I share and don't as I don't need to "lead" with drama about the x...
So what irks me most here is that he drew a whole lot of conclusions, assumptions and presented as facts, a whole lot of things that are outright wrong.
And I am in no way, 4 months into this, going to spend time trying to explain to him how he has it wrong.
Anyone who makes up their mind about a matter without speaking to the other person and getting some broader knowledge to inform their decisions, deserves to miss out...
I'm supremely annoyed with what a wuss he was to email me and frankly the email is more annoying than it would have been if he'd gone totally silent...
It's a good indication of progress for me that I did not reply and try and "explain"...
Someone who doesn't want to ask a question or talk to me face to face, doesn't warrant my reply to his pathetic email...
Lame. His loss.
So what irks me most here is that he drew a whole lot of conclusions, assumptions and presented as facts, a whole lot of things that are outright wrong.
And I am in no way, 4 months into this, going to spend time trying to explain to him how he has it wrong.
Anyone who makes up their mind about a matter without speaking to the other person and getting some broader knowledge to inform their decisions, deserves to miss out...
I'm supremely annoyed with what a wuss he was to email me and frankly the email is more annoying than it would have been if he'd gone totally silent...
It's a good indication of progress for me that I did not reply and try and "explain"...
Someone who doesn't want to ask a question or talk to me face to face, doesn't warrant my reply to his pathetic email...
Lame. His loss.
"
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Well, that seems to me a bunch of BS. Either he is a jerk, or a wimp. If he were a man worthy of you, he would have offered you additional support for all you have went through. He is just not the one. I'm sorry friend.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
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So, the story has continued... of course...
A new email where he ACTUALLY ASKS ME to explain some things to him regarding some questions he has because he thinks Im worth giving this more consideration.
Again, SO HARD to not reply with any number of things...
But I won't. No good will come of it.
It appears once again ladies and gentlemen, I successfully snagged myself a narcissbag-- a mixture between a narcissist and d-bag...
Not classy of me at all to use the latter word but frankly if the shoe fits...
A new email where he ACTUALLY ASKS ME to explain some things to him regarding some questions he has because he thinks Im worth giving this more consideration.
Again, SO HARD to not reply with any number of things...
But I won't. No good will come of it.
It appears once again ladies and gentlemen, I successfully snagged myself a narcissbag-- a mixture between a narcissist and d-bag...
Not classy of me at all to use the latter word but frankly if the shoe fits...
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Join Date: Jan 2016
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What is this, a job interview? If you answer the questions correctly he'll reconsider?
What a pretentious, arrogant tool.
If nothing else, you've got to be feelng pretty darned good about the way this turned out for you! Bullet dodged...whew!
P.S. Block him. Hmmm...on the other hand, the expression "Get over yourself" might have been invented just for this situation...
What a pretentious, arrogant tool.
If nothing else, you've got to be feelng pretty darned good about the way this turned out for you! Bullet dodged...whew!
P.S. Block him. Hmmm...on the other hand, the expression "Get over yourself" might have been invented just for this situation...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
Is there a way to block someone on *****? If so I would LOVE anyone who could tell me!
I do not know how to do it if there is a way, so the email amused me more than anything and totally made me realize "bullet dodged"...
I am not going to give him the satisfaction of a response at all. I suppose I'm letting him occupy my mind a bit by venting about it here but after a long day at work and homework battles with my kids, to find that BS email just made me shake my head and not having anyone in my house to vent to about it, I figured that sharing it with you all was a good choice!
I do not know how to do it if there is a way, so the email amused me more than anything and totally made me realize "bullet dodged"...
I am not going to give him the satisfaction of a response at all. I suppose I'm letting him occupy my mind a bit by venting about it here but after a long day at work and homework battles with my kids, to find that BS email just made me shake my head and not having anyone in my house to vent to about it, I figured that sharing it with you all was a good choice!
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,905
Here ya go. This one will actually delete the email.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMEdnyXJviw
How to block someone on *****.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMEdnyXJviw
How to block someone on *****.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
A quick google and here you go...https://support.google.com/mail/answer/8151?hl=en
All that does is dump him in your junk folder, but at least that's where it belongs!
All that does is dump him in your junk folder, but at least that's where it belongs!
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