lovetolisten

In the words of least, I want to be sober more than I want to drink.

I have half-heartedly tried and failed for about 15 years (see my first post from December) and decided in December that life was really becoming unmanageable.

Had a number of fits and starts since December. I went back and forth between knowing I have a problem, and convincing myself I could be successful at moderation. Big surprise to no one - moderation doesn't work.

Moderation means you never drink to excess. That's just not going to happen for me. Normal, social drinkers don't: call into work sick, break ankles, drive drunk, violate their own moral code, tell themselves in the morning they won't drink and then have a drink in hand by 6 p.m.

Since I joined SR and decided I needed to get sober in December, I HAVE called in sick, and done things I wouldn't think of doing sober, including driving drunk. If I was able to moderate.... wouldn't I have done it by now?

I get it - all of my experiments have failed. Complete sobriety is the only choice for me. I want to be sober more than I want to drink. I need a plan and to make this the #1 priority in my life. I never made a solid plan because I never took this seriously enough.

I am only going to get one life - it can't be spent feeling regretful and hungover anymore.

I never would have reached this conclusion without reading all of your posts over the last 4+ months

Anna

Fantastic that you have come to the point where you know you cannot and will not drink again. I spent a few months going back and forth too because, like many people, I was quite determined to moderate. Those turned out to be dreadful months. I'm so glad you are here and ready to do this!

least

I would also suggest, to strengthen your recovery, that you practice gratitude every day. It puts the focus on the positive and shows me what I have to stay sober for.

amazingjoy

Great post lovetolisten! I've done the exact same thing and felt the same way! Why can't we just take everyone's word for it? Why do we have to learn the hard way or think we are different somehow? Aye aye aye...

Good advice least about gratitude too!

Delizadee

Oh yes. The lies we tell ourselves that perpetuate the problem.
Great post my friend. I'm glad to hear you're moving forward in sobriety with strength in your resolve.
And I agree with least. Finding positivity in every day is so good for sobriety and life.

Jsbodhi

Well done'
I feel the same xo

Soberwolf

Excellent job bud

FLCamper

It does seem to take a lot of us a while to embrace that because we don't want to! I'm glad you have.
As you say, you need a plan. Have you given it some thought?

FarToGo

Yep, you sound ready. Great news, congratulations and good luck.
xx

Dee74

Things got better for me after I came to that decision lovetolisten

FormerWineGirl

Congratulations on your decision!
"I regret getting sober" said no one, ever. As for your moderation experiment, most all of us tried and failed miserably, so consider yourself in good company ☺