shortstop81

Back again, my SR friends.

In the past 2-3 months my ex and I sold our family house and I've moved into my own apt. We've been getting along ok, and figuring out our routine for co-parenting our son. A few weeks ago I had emergency surgery for an abscess, that left me physically weakened but with a bottle of T3s. On top of that, I've almost completed my police auxiliary training.

Throughout all of this, I've relapsed BADLY. I can't seem to go longer than two weeks without going back to the bottle. And then I abused my pain pills until they were gone. And my behaviour during my binges has gotten riskier - I've gone to work and training impaired, etc.

So far I've 'gotten away with things', but my relationships are suffering, my health is suffering, and my self-worth is almost gone. I feel like I've been hanging on by the thinnest of threads.

I think inpatient rehab is the only thing left for me to try. I don't care how much I have to pay, I'll do it. It's just a matter of telling my loved ones, tying up loose ends, and gritting through the next 2 weeks to be able to graduate from recruit training.

I was sober today, which was a struggle. I feel like I'm going to be glued to this website for the next while. Glad to be here and to have you guys to talk to.

Dee74

We'll be here shortstop

I think if you can swing it, rehab is probably a good idea?

D

Jsbodhi

Hi welcome xoxo
You can do it, we've all been there! We can, you can!

I'm Canadian too!

Delilah1

Hi Shortstop,

Welcome back! You should read Mera's post about rehab. It reads like a journal, and is very inspiring.

Hope to see you on here often!

Ghostlight1

Hello.
It took a deep, dark desperation to make me give in and give up. I thought things couldn't get worse, but they did. I hope you never have to revisit the depths I sank to. It was bad.
You've got things going for you that seem very positive. Something to live sober for.
I didn't have that luxury- it was me alone with a bottle.

Grab a hold of sobriety. With all you've got going on, make it a big part of your life. Even the biggest if necessary.
I'm glad to say I clawed my way out of addiction and everything changed for the better. It takes work. It is work, but so worth it and so are you.

I wish you the best.

least

I hope you can get the help you need to get sober for good.

Soberwolf

Hi Shortstop I seriously know having a plan is like wearing armour when it comes to protecting your sobriety

In this together never alone

shortstop81

Thank you for the words of encouragement!

Day 2. Had an awful night sleep last night. I had full on sweats and nightmares. But hey, at least I'm not hungover this morning.

I've gone through acute withdrawal so many times that I'm familiar with all the symptoms. I think the worst for me is the sensitivity to sound. It seems to take the longest to gradually get better.

thomas11

Hi shortstop, if you think treatment is the best option, I encourage you to do it. Taking action to improve yourself is never a bad idea. Maybe nip in the bud.

yinzer

I'm glad you recognize the harm you are doing to yourself and hope you can get into rehab soon! Hugs to you.

Bird615

Welcome back, shortstop!

Rehab sounds like a great idea; it was like a jump-start into sobriety for me, but I had to be desperate before I'd do something to help me stop.

Remember that you never have to go through this again if you don't want to.