Just One More Time
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 15
Just One More Time
The title stands for itself, and depicts my entire situation. I live happily and sober for several days, and just as the physical effects have gone away, I think -"**** It - Just one more time, It doesn't matter!" But it really does. These days turn into weeks of hangovers, and the loop continues infinitely. I am so tired of this whole circus! I just need a break from it all. I need a break from my own mind. I am trying to read a lot of literature about alcoholism to get motivation enough. And I have printed a few pdf's from a few threads on this site. I need a plan. I don't believe in AA's philosophy though. I know many people have become sober through their program, but it's not for me. I believe I have full power over my situation, and I don't think this is a disease or allergy. I just believe I have drove myself down a line where it's hard to get out. But I can manage to get out -even on my own. Of that I am convinced. I just need to have a plan when the monster starts screaming for more. And I do know that moderation is a no go for me.
I am drinking tonight. It has been a rough day/week, and I have said to myself -"Just one more time" ! But after this I will Starve The Freakin Monster! Sober day 18th March:-)
I am drinking tonight. It has been a rough day/week, and I have said to myself -"Just one more time" ! But after this I will Starve The Freakin Monster! Sober day 18th March:-)
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,565
You sound ready, ScarletLily. I was so exhausted from trying to manage it and keep it in my life. It was never worth it in the end - just brought me misery & anxiety. We don't need it. Welcome! So glad to have you with us. 
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 15
Does anyone have books to recommend during recovery? I have read Annie Grace, This Naked Mind and Allen Carr. Downloaded Jason Vale, but realised I would relapse reading his book -as he had a chapter called "Final Drink" -ooooohhh, just a final drink, really? No, don't think so. Any books not encouraging drinking a last drink is most appreciated :-)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 15
Originally Posted by CaseyW 
Be careful with your drinking tonight, and I look forward to getting to know a sober you in the days to come.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 15
I must also say that I have wanted to stop drinking for about 12 years now. Does anyone relate to that? I have tried so many times, and I have really admitted to myself that I have a problem. But for no good. It seems that I really can't get my head around this problem.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Here's a link on SR which has excerpts/info on a highly informative well known book - http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Welcome
Welcome
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 15
I just realized I am drinking on St Patricks Day. Can anyone explain to me what this day is? Or is it a weekend? Which countries celebrate it? I have a friend on another forum that is from USA, and he says this day is a difficult day to stay sober. And I have "lost" a friend from Canada today, and in lost I mean he deleted himself from another forum. What is this fuzz all about?
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Originally Posted by ScarletLily
I can't find any information -but is this an AA forum? In that case I might be in the wrong place.....since I have stated earlier that I don't believe in their philosophy..
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,134
I have some great recovery books!
- Drinking, A love Story - Caroline Knapp
- Drunk Mom, A Memoir - Jowita Bydlowska
- Blackout - Sara Hepola
- Unwasted , My Lush Sobriety - Sacha Scoblic
To get you started
- Drinking, A love Story - Caroline Knapp
- Drunk Mom, A Memoir - Jowita Bydlowska
- Blackout - Sara Hepola
- Unwasted , My Lush Sobriety - Sacha Scoblic
To get you started
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Hi Scarlet,
Fly N By made a recommendation that I completely agree with, the book is called "Under the Influence" by Robert Milam. You can find it on amazon. It is a good overview of how one becomes addicted to alcohol, and what happens as we recover; it was invaluable to me in early recovery.
One thing I would add is an expression I heard from a sober friend when I was just getting started: "addiction is a disease of loneliness that we try to cure with isolation." I never got very far until I was able to reach out to others who had managed to get sober. They were the ones who got me through the rough spots and gave me the strength and hope to keep on going when I just wanted to give up. There are lots of people here and in the "real world" who have gotten sober - but they can't help much until you put the plug in the jug.
You can do this. Stay in touch!
Fly N By made a recommendation that I completely agree with, the book is called "Under the Influence" by Robert Milam. You can find it on amazon. It is a good overview of how one becomes addicted to alcohol, and what happens as we recover; it was invaluable to me in early recovery.
One thing I would add is an expression I heard from a sober friend when I was just getting started: "addiction is a disease of loneliness that we try to cure with isolation." I never got very far until I was able to reach out to others who had managed to get sober. They were the ones who got me through the rough spots and gave me the strength and hope to keep on going when I just wanted to give up. There are lots of people here and in the "real world" who have gotten sober - but they can't help much until you put the plug in the jug.
You can do this. Stay in touch!
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