confusion!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,074
confusion!
Why IS recovery so confusing at times?! Im currently doing step 4 and my head is a mess! Ive been doing really well recently, step 4 has muddled my brain. Maybe because I thought Id worked out who I was when really I havent? Can anyone relate to this. Im ok tho, I dont want to drink over it, just feeling a bit wobbly.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
Hahaha yup!
My sponsor said "If you are not totally confused and feeling out of sorts most of the time then you are not doing this work!"
Totally normal.
I am just finishing up my 4th step and it shook me up real good! It gets better. Keep writing.
My sponsor said "If you are not totally confused and feeling out of sorts most of the time then you are not doing this work!"
Totally normal.
I am just finishing up my 4th step and it shook me up real good! It gets better. Keep writing.
NA Member - Atheist
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Middletown CT USA
Posts: 770
I got some good advice when I did step 4.
Stay in close touch with my sponsor. Call when I need to, and even when I didn't think I needed to.
If it got too much emotionally, stop for a minute and write on some of my assets.
Ask people what my assets were and write those down and then write on those. - You'll be surprised,
Schedule writing times before meetings and then get to the meeting. - You'll never know when you'll get jammed up and need to be around other people in recovery.
What you are experiencing is normal.
Stay in close touch with my sponsor. Call when I need to, and even when I didn't think I needed to.
If it got too much emotionally, stop for a minute and write on some of my assets.
Ask people what my assets were and write those down and then write on those. - You'll be surprised,
Schedule writing times before meetings and then get to the meeting. - You'll never know when you'll get jammed up and need to be around other people in recovery.
What you are experiencing is normal.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,074
Thank god its not just me!!! I need a little breather from step 4, ive been writing my thought processes out on paper about step 4 actually.... loads of self seeking and fear all coming on out to the surface. I too have written about my assests and some positive affirmations that no one is perfect, that I can work to improve on my defects etc etc. I think its really important to realise its not necessary to strive for perfection or I could be in for a huge huge bang! I guess its about understanding ourselves better warts and all! Tough one this step. I may put it aside for a few days til I can meet with my sponsor. Thanks for your replies I thought I was losing the plot again lol x
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
hi blueberry,
of all the steps, i just KNEW that 4 would be a cinch, since i'm pretty introspective and honest anyway.
so i thought.
i had no idea. hahaHA; i struggled. steeped like a teabag. wriggled and twinged.
wow. opening eyes.
had to keep swallowing hard at what i saw.
don't skimp
of all the steps, i just KNEW that 4 would be a cinch, since i'm pretty introspective and honest anyway.
so i thought.
i had no idea. hahaHA; i struggled. steeped like a teabag. wriggled and twinged.
wow. opening eyes.
had to keep swallowing hard at what i saw.
don't skimp
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
That perspective adjusting can be powerful stuff. I especially found this with regards to my resentment list. After I'd done steps 4 &5 I went through a phase of really questioning my understanding and actions, but that was just a stage I suppose, until I got used to my new way of thinking. Now it's when the OLD way of thinking starts trying to sneak back in that I get worried.
Don't wait to see your sponsor, give them a call and chat about it asap. No need to sit with your feelings / concerns for days
Don't wait to see your sponsor, give them a call and chat about it asap. No need to sit with your feelings / concerns for days
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,074
Originally Posted by Beccybean 
That perspective adjusting can be powerful stuff. I especially found this with regards to my resentment list. After I'd done steps 4 &5 I went through a phase of really questioning my understanding and actions, but that was just a stage I suppose, until I got used to my new way of thinking. Now it's when the OLD way of thinking starts trying to sneak back in that I get worried.
Don't wait to see your sponsor, give them a call and chat about it asap. No need to sit with your feelings / concerns for days
Don't wait to see your sponsor, give them a call and chat about it asap. No need to sit with your feelings / concerns for days
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MI, USA
Posts: 234
Funny you should mention Step Work
I work through step 4
carefully
and try to be near someone who has a sense of humor. I tend to lose perspective.
Pen to paper. Like when I was young and wrote letters.
I learned I can always do it again if I don't like my first version!! I feel like I am externalizing my feelings and that's a useful thing even if it doesn't feel so great.
For me it's the beauty of the steps. As long as I am working (through) them, HP will help work through me. It's good to be helped.
I'm proud of you! Thanks for writing here.
carefully
and try to be near someone who has a sense of humor. I tend to lose perspective.
Pen to paper. Like when I was young and wrote letters.
I learned I can always do it again if I don't like my first version!! I feel like I am externalizing my feelings and that's a useful thing even if it doesn't feel so great.
For me it's the beauty of the steps. As long as I am working (through) them, HP will help work through me. It's good to be helped.
I'm proud of you! Thanks for writing here.
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