I Need To Start Over Again
Pressure makes diamonds
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 521
I Need To Start Over Again
I've been on this Merry-go-Round for a while now. Last year I got to 4 months of being sober and it was the best I've ever felt. So, I know I have the strength to do it. Then work stress crept in and I threw in the towel. I know- it's an excuse and I seem to be very good at that. One drink led to many and now since the end of September I've been back to drinking, and more than before. A few times I could string a week or two together, but nothing substantial. I should have come back here sooner but was embarrassed. Afraid of all the questions... What's my plan , why not AA etc. I wasn't ready to face it.
I thought I had a plan. Now I know I NEED a plan. I can't do this one more day. I need to get back on track now and live my best life. I'm tired of being sick and tired. I look in the mirror and hate what I see. I don't want to be depressed and red and bloated anymore. I want my face back and my soul to be happy again. I'm lost.
Back to Day 1- this time it has to be the end of this self destruction. I need to check in here everyday and hold myself accountable.
I thought I had a plan. Now I know I NEED a plan. I can't do this one more day. I need to get back on track now and live my best life. I'm tired of being sick and tired. I look in the mirror and hate what I see. I don't want to be depressed and red and bloated anymore. I want my face back and my soul to be happy again. I'm lost.
Back to Day 1- this time it has to be the end of this self destruction. I need to check in here everyday and hold myself accountable.
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,717
What is nice about each day is that it is a chance to begin again. So, dust yourself off and take a deep breath and begin anew. 
Glad you are here! ♡CR
Remember ...Butterflies Are Hope For The Flowers...
Here's to all the butterflies and flowers
Glad you are here! ♡CR
Remember ...Butterflies Are Hope For The Flowers...
Here's to all the butterflies and flowers
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Welcome back! I'm glad you are back again, I have struggled in the last and just disappeared from SR and my other supports, that was my biggest mistakes. I joined the January class after deciding that NYE was my last drink, and have been using SR, journaling, exercise, and reading as my primary tools.
Try to take it easy physically and mentally today. You can do this!!!
❤️ Delilah
Try to take it easy physically and mentally today. You can do this!!!
❤️ Delilah
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Reaching out is one of the most important tools in my recovery as is acceptance of knowing I can't drink safely or responsibly so no matter what no matter how strong the urge I will not drink as I know where that road leads I can take action against the craving by reaching out and speaking to another alcoholic who knows exactly what im going through, which brings me to another awesome recovery tool against cravings which is 'playing the tape'
Having a plan improves sobriety and also records it which then becomes a great reflection tool for you to reflect on as the hours days months & then years go by
You can also have a sobriety scrapbook of the things you find that interest you I find that pretty cool as I can forget sometimes
It's up to you how much you want this x
Having a plan improves sobriety and also records it which then becomes a great reflection tool for you to reflect on as the hours days months & then years go by
You can also have a sobriety scrapbook of the things you find that interest you I find that pretty cool as I can forget sometimes
It's up to you how much you want this x
Last edited by Soberwolf; 03-13-2016 at 08:20 AM. Reason: Spelling & grammar
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 1
Me too...
I am starting again today as well. I never made 4 months though which was quite an accomplishment and I know you can do it - you've already proven that so keep on going.
The most I've ever done is 10 days - which were the best 10 days I've known in years and I don't even know what happened that made me jump back into drinking because I went on a real bender and couldn't get off it for days.
I'm really going to make it work this time. I've got some plans made and have told people and joined this forum.
Good luck!
The most I've ever done is 10 days - which were the best 10 days I've known in years and I don't even know what happened that made me jump back into drinking because I went on a real bender and couldn't get off it for days.
I'm really going to make it work this time. I've got some plans made and have told people and joined this forum.
Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by Hope2014 
I've been on this Merry-go-Round for a while now. Last year I got to 4 months of being sober and it was the best I've ever felt. So, I know I have the strength to do it. Then work stress crept in and I threw in the towel. I know- it's an excuse and I seem to be very good at that. One drink led to many and now since the end of September I've been back to drinking, and more than before. A few times I could string a week or two together, but nothing substantial. I should have come back here sooner but was embarrassed. Afraid of all the questions... What's my plan , why not AA etc. I wasn't ready to face it. I thought I had a plan. Now I know I NEED a plan. I can't do this one more day. I need to get back on track now and live my best life. I'm tired of being sick and tired. I look in the mirror and hate what I see. I don't want to be depressed and red and bloated anymore. I want my face back and my soul to be happy again. I'm lost. Back to Day 1- this time it has to be the end of this self destruction. I need to check in here everyday and hold myself accountable.
Pressure makes diamonds
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 521
Thank you all for your support, it means so much. This time I'm going to stick to it. I have to. I'm going to journal every day, check in here and start treating myself with more respect by eating healthy, excercising and getting straight with being grateful for the things I do have, including the support from all of you. It's up to me now, because if nothing changes, then nothing will get better.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
Hope, once you start reading and posting on a regular basis, you will find the support that you need. It's all here! You can do this. I was on the same cycle, as probably everyone here. Each relapse gets harder and harder, and you do sink deeper...I've been there. I am now nearing 11 months sober, and I never ever thought I could do it, but I did.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Originally Posted by Hope2014
Now I know I NEED a plan.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: TN, USA
Posts: 239
Welcome back Hope! I too am starting over for what feels like the hundredth time in the last year. I understand the embarrassment of discussing it after you have made a mistake. We have all been there. Best of luck and keep posting! <3
I too am starting over for what feels like the hundredth time in the last year. I understand the embarrassment of discussing it after you have made a mistake. We have all been there. Best of luck and keep posting! <3
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