Patty

Hi I'm Ted's Sister Patty. Some Of You Have Already Heard My Story, But Anyways, My Boyfriend Is An Alcoholic And Uses Crack. He Beat Me Up On Wednesday And Is In Jail For Now. We Go To Court On Monday To Find Out What Is Going To Happen. He Claims He Doesn't Remember Any Of It But.....i Find That Hard To Believe!!!! Any Advice Is Welcome.

Dan

Hi Patty! It's an honor to meet you.
I'm so very sorry about what happened. But I'm also very happy that my dear friend Ted was able to be there for you in this time of hardship.
I think that wether your boyfriend remembers it or not is irrelevant.
The man is dangerous. I hope you can get a restraining order at the very least.
Others will be along with more experience in these matters.
I'm glad you're here, and I hope you're healing.

Brookie

Welcome Patty. Glad you're here. Agree with what Dan said - whether or not he remembers it isn't particularly important. If you can't afford a lawyer to help you with a restraining order, most local bar associations have programs that can provide legal assistance at reduced or no cost. If you need help tracking something like that down, please feel free to PM me. I might be able to help point you in the right direction.

Best,
Joe

Gabe

Hey Patty,
Welcome to Sober Recovery. Please join us on the Family and Friends board and the Naranon board. There are lots of people there who understand what you're going through. Glad to see you here.
Gabe

Chy

Hi Patty and welcome,
It's very possible he doesn't remember, it's called "black-outs", doesn't excuse his behavior, just an awareness on how severe his drinking really is. You'll find a great deal of support here! *hugs*

sherbear5104

Hi Patty and Welcome,

You are your brother are both in my prayers. I'm sorry you had to go through what you did. It is awful that some men think they can beat on women like that. He may not remember it, but like everyone else said, that doesn't matter. Protect yourself, get that restraining order, and let Ted and Sue help you get back up on your feet. Keep your head up!

Sherry

splendra

(((((PATTY))))-

I too am sorry for your ordeal.

So... he can't remember hmmmm.......sounds like that makes him even more of a mennis to society and to women. It is no excuse. I hope he gets locked up for it. I hope you are receiving treatment for what happened.

Bonni

((((Patty))))
I agree with Chy, its possible he was in a "black out" and doesnt remember. But that is no excuse for his behavior, and you have to do what is best for YOU! And you are doing the right thing in coming here and seeking help, and you will find a lot of it here. You will find a lot of wonderful people here to help you thur this. The Family and Friends, and Naranon forums are both good places to find a lot of good ESH and support. I am glad you are here, and I'm sending some prayers and positive thoughts your way. Love, Bonni ((hugs)) :heart:

Ann

Welcome Patty. I volunteeer at a women's crisis home (actually 3 homes), and know how devastating that kind of abuse can be. Whether he remembers or not isn't important...he has shown that he is capable of doing this, and please know that most abusers get progressively worse and it is a very very dangerous situation for a woman to be in. Please talk to someone about this and know that regardless of the circumstances, it is not your fault.

You may still love this man, but pease keep a safe distance at least until you have had time to get help for yourself, to heal, and to regain your emotional balance.

Also, please feel free to join us on the Nar-Anon or Friends and Family boards, where there are many others who have been where you are and would be happy to share with you and listen to your story.

We're here and we care, Patty.

Hugs
Ann

2dayzmuse

(((Patty)))

Welcome and I'm very sorry for what has happened to you. I know domestic violence is a horrible experience. My thoughts and prayers go out to you. I hope you are feeling much better. Not only physically, but emotionally as well. Please be careful with this matter and look out for yourself. I too have been a victim of domestic violence and know how the situation can be manipulated. Remorse and sorrow can be twisted and used to earn their way back into your life. Unfortunately history will repeat itself if not addressed in the proper manner. It sounds like your bf has alot of problems. I hope he recognizes them all and gets the help he needs. Stay strong and give Sue and Ted a big hug for me. Please take care of you. Your in good, loving hands...

Talia

Richie

Hi Patty,
My prayers are with you and your family.You've been given some good advice here.I hope for the best for you.I'm glad you have a brother like Ted to look out for you.

ted

WE LOVE YOU!!! :rose :mj :notme ......ted N SUE

lulu70

Hey Patty. It is so nice to meet you, and welcome to SR. I agree with other posters that whether he remembers or not is irrelevant. If a person gets drunk, drives a car and kills someone, he/she is still guilty of manslaughter, whether they remember it or not.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. You are lucky you have such wonderful support!

Hugs--

Jalyn

More prayers for you, Patty. Stay strong and stay away from abusive b/f. Take care of yourself and don't feel you have to fix him!!

My mother stayed with abusive ex trying to help him through alcohol and drug addiction and he ended up burning her house down. Thank God no one was hurt, and not to scare you, but I, as many, have seen how devastating things can get when you are dealing with abusive and addictive behavior.

Just my 2cents...Jalyn

KelKel

Hi Patty
It is a pleasure to meet you and I am so grateful that you decided to check out SR.
I am sorry for what happened to you and that your boyfriend is an addict.
I was a black-out drinker so yes it is possible he does not remember.
But guess what, that is totally his problem, and he is responsible for helping himself.
You on the other hand need to take care of you. You are a beautiful person and deserve to be in a safe and healthy environment.
Ted and Sue have some wonderful experience, strength and hope to share with you.
There is also a lot of support and understanding around here.
please pm me anytime with anything you might need to make this ordeal easier. There is a womens meeting on Thurs. evenings you might enjoy.

Big Hugs to You...

Sandy Marie

***** PEPPERMINT PATTY! ALL OF SR LOVES YOU!
YOU ARE MAGNIFICANT!

sam082602

Run away from him!!

usatoday

Patty.....you deserve better!

Patty

HEY ALL, I JUST GOT BACK FROM GOING OUT TO THE HOUSE TO FEED MY CATS. MY BF'S AUNT TOOK ME, SHE IS ALSO MY EMPLOYER. THEY (his family) ALL SAY THEY DON'T CONDONE WHAT HE HAS DONE BUT I AM HEARING HOW BAD THEY FEEL FOR HIM. POOR BABY!!! THEY SAID THAT HE WANTED ME TO TAKE HIS CAR TO USE AND HE WANTED ME TO STAY AT THE HOUSE BECAUSE IT WAS MINE. WELL, I DIDN'T TAKE HIS CAR AND I AM STILL HERE AT TED AND SUE'S. I THINK THAT I MAY NEED TO LOOK FOR A NEW JOB TOO. SHE SAYS THAT THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WORK BUT I'M GETTING A DIFFERENT MESSAGE. THANK'S FOR ALL THE GREAT ADVICE. THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE AND NORMALY I GO RUNNING BACK. I AM STAYING STRONG. GOTTA GO TED HAS A MEETING.

Ann

I'm saying prayers for you, Patty. It's happened before, and I am very sorry to say that the odds are against you and it will probably happen again. You can change those odds, Patty, and I'm rooting for you.

Hugs again
Ann