Do addicts want to die?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: McLean VA
Posts: 93
Do addicts want to die?
My AB posts some disturbing things on social media. Today it was a slogan about going out strong when it's your time. It had some profanities and talked about sucker punching someone in the throat. Mind boggling to me.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Addiction is mind boggling.
Do they want to die? I don't think so although each time they use they take the chance that they will.
Addiction kills, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly and sometime intentionally...sorry, we lost a friend today to exactly that, the self inflicted death.
All addicts have the chance to stop, to go to rehab (Salvation Army rehabs are free) and to reach out for the help they desperately need.
I pray that your addicted loved one reaches out today, or soon, while it is still an option.
Hugs
Do they want to die? I don't think so although each time they use they take the chance that they will.
Addiction kills, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly and sometime intentionally...sorry, we lost a friend today to exactly that, the self inflicted death.
All addicts have the chance to stop, to go to rehab (Salvation Army rehabs are free) and to reach out for the help they desperately need.
I pray that your addicted loved one reaches out today, or soon, while it is still an option.
Hugs
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Do they want to die?
Who knows. I imagine, in rare moments of introspection, the idea of being dead and therefore freed from the responsibility of their lives is more appealing than not. On the other hand, unchecked addiction often ends in the grave, and yet that thought doesn't deter them from using.
This is a long way of saying, it depends. If, for example, you had reason to suspect your AB was going to harm himself, you have to turn that over to the authorities. But then there are other times when an addict will express suicidal thoughts as a way to "change the subject", which is the cruelest form of manipulation there is.
So...keep your eyes and ears open.
Who knows. I imagine, in rare moments of introspection, the idea of being dead and therefore freed from the responsibility of their lives is more appealing than not. On the other hand, unchecked addiction often ends in the grave, and yet that thought doesn't deter them from using.
This is a long way of saying, it depends. If, for example, you had reason to suspect your AB was going to harm himself, you have to turn that over to the authorities. But then there are other times when an addict will express suicidal thoughts as a way to "change the subject", which is the cruelest form of manipulation there is.
So...keep your eyes and ears open.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
I can't answer your question, but I can give you my experience. I'm both a recovering addict (RA) and a recovering codependent who wanted to save everyone.
I never wanted to die when I was using. I wanted everyone to leave me alone and let me get high. I'm blessed that I didn't die, at times, as I should have.
I've lost two people to addiction. I truly don't think they had the intention of dying but addiction can be fatal.
I agree with Zoso about calling the authorities if you feel it is a serious threat. I also agree about the manipulation. I did it, I'm not proud of it.
I also agree with Ann - I hope your loved one reaches out and finds recovery. I also hope that you remember YOU are important and taking care of you is a priority.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I never wanted to die when I was using. I wanted everyone to leave me alone and let me get high. I'm blessed that I didn't die, at times, as I should have.
I've lost two people to addiction. I truly don't think they had the intention of dying but addiction can be fatal.
I agree with Zoso about calling the authorities if you feel it is a serious threat. I also agree about the manipulation. I did it, I'm not proud of it.
I also agree with Ann - I hope your loved one reaches out and finds recovery. I also hope that you remember YOU are important and taking care of you is a priority.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: McLean VA
Posts: 93
Hmmm. I wasn't even considering that it was a threat. Should I be?? More likely it's manipulation or an "I'll show you.." AB has requested no phone contact from me and so I really have no idea. He has support (gf) where he lives if he needs it.
First and foremost, taking care of me.
First and foremost, taking care of me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Keep taking care of you. It sounds like he has support if he wants it. If you feel it is a genuine threat, call the authorities.
The hardest thing I've ever done is step back and let someone deal with the consequences of their actions. The most loving thing anyone has ever done for me is to step back and let me deal with the consequences of my actions.
It's not easy, but there is a ton of support here from people who get it.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
The hardest thing I've ever done is step back and let someone deal with the consequences of their actions. The most loving thing anyone has ever done for me is to step back and let me deal with the consequences of my actions.
It's not easy, but there is a ton of support here from people who get it.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 468
Originally Posted by zoso77 
Do they want to die?
Who knows. I imagine, in rare moments of introspection, the idea of being dead and therefore freed from the responsibility of their lives is more appealing than not.
Who knows. I imagine, in rare moments of introspection, the idea of being dead and therefore freed from the responsibility of their lives is more appealing than not.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
I think sometimes they flirt with a romanticised idea of death as a get out of jail card without them having to put too much effort into recovery, but death from addiction (especially alcohol) isn't pretty.
Unless you overdose there's a lot of horrible life and broken relationships that proceed it. Addiction is tiring because you spend so much of your time catering to it. Fail at recovery and you think theres no way out except death.
Some alcoholics know exactly what they're doing when they drink themselves to death, but for others a near death experience is their 'bottom' and it all becomes real.
I remember someone on this forum who had been sober for years saying his turning point came when his estranged family visited him in hospital to say goodbye. Suddenly he decided to become sober; he survived that episode and never drank again.
Bit off topic, sorry, but I'm mainly experienced with alcoholics. Is it the same for drug addicts?
Unless you overdose there's a lot of horrible life and broken relationships that proceed it. Addiction is tiring because you spend so much of your time catering to it. Fail at recovery and you think theres no way out except death.
Some alcoholics know exactly what they're doing when they drink themselves to death, but for others a near death experience is their 'bottom' and it all becomes real.
I remember someone on this forum who had been sober for years saying his turning point came when his estranged family visited him in hospital to say goodbye. Suddenly he decided to become sober; he survived that episode and never drank again.
Bit off topic, sorry, but I'm mainly experienced with alcoholics. Is it the same for drug addicts?
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,252
I don't know about death but I think some are 'lost' or ambivalent or disappointed they didn't get their way or desired outcome.
One saying I've always heard through out life and that is it's not all about the wins in life it's how one reacts to loss or negative events in an many a addict's case. It's ok to lose, it's not ok not to try again, harder or differently. I was always preached work hard or keep working at it early but I didn't realize the importance of rebounding after a loss until an adult. You can get into the everyone gets a trophy arguments but early on I think it needs to be taught and emphasized it's ok to lose but it's not ok to not do anything about it. Negative stuff WILL happen but it's not the end.
One saying I've always heard through out life and that is it's not all about the wins in life it's how one reacts to loss or negative events in an many a addict's case. It's ok to lose, it's not ok not to try again, harder or differently. I was always preached work hard or keep working at it early but I didn't realize the importance of rebounding after a loss until an adult. You can get into the everyone gets a trophy arguments but early on I think it needs to be taught and emphasized it's ok to lose but it's not ok to not do anything about it. Negative stuff WILL happen but it's not the end.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 166
When I have been in the grip of addiction I haven't exactly wanted to die (aside from a couple of times) I just didn't care if I did. That meant I spoke about death very flippantly. I used to talk about how I wouldn't make it past my 30's and was almost amused by peoples reactions to that as I couldn't understand why they were so afraid of death. I think it's a control thing, as an addict you are putting your life on the line, if you become comfortable with the idea you will die young it enables you to pursue your addiction unhindered. Now I'm sober I realise how precious life is and I don't want to lose it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: NC
Posts: 662
I am a recovering heroin addict and I wouldn't say I wanted to die. I mean, when I'd wake up in the morning feeling like death, throwing up, running to the bathroom, basically crawling on the floor trying to figure out how the hell I could get money to get high..sure I'd say to myself "I'd rather be dead than sick" but really I just wished I had unlimited drugs.
I never worried about overdosing because all I cared about was getting as high as possible. It never crossed my mind when I stuck a needle in my arm that I might overdose, even though I've had to do CPR on my friends before. All you care about is getting as high as you can and nothing not even death will stop you from achieving that high.
I never worried about overdosing because all I cared about was getting as high as possible. It never crossed my mind when I stuck a needle in my arm that I might overdose, even though I've had to do CPR on my friends before. All you care about is getting as high as you can and nothing not even death will stop you from achieving that high.
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