scotty2b4

The run down;

I am 43 years old, never been arrested and have a clean driving record, until now.

I was at a cocktail party, was supposed to get picked up from the bar by my wife,we lost touch. I live about 15 minutes by car from the bar. Bar was getting ready to close, I initially thought I could drive. Drove for about 3 minutes, realized I was drunk. Pulled over on the side of the road, continued trying to get a hold of my wife. Began walking home, walked for about a 1/2 hour. Patrol car offered me a lift. ----rest is history, Im now awaiting court.

Went to this Oasis, answered some questions, peed in a cup, and now they say I need treatment three times a week. Coming from a woman who didn't even make eye contact, face was glued to the computer screen, and had very little interaction with me and this is what they recommend ?

This will be a strain on my family now, before it was just an inconvenience for me, now they drag my family in it as they say they could benefit from treatment. I have two little ones, and and one 21 year old. And under no circumstance would I subject them to this abuse. Yes, I said abuse.

some personal and work history; Im happily married to a wonderful woman, she is my best friend and I am a very active father. Play with the kids, cook, clean, stay healthy....I am a CEO of my own company, been running it for about 6 years now and have about 50 employees, Some would argue that what I do is some of the best work in the state. My business has multiple locations and I travel a lot.

So I came here to vent! As I dont think dropping F'bombs to my attorney would be productive. My question, is there anyone here that is dealing with a similar situation? I will wait for some replies before I discuss further, thank you for reading.

sugarbear1

I'm confused, you got arrested for walking home drunk or to admitting driving while intoxicated?

Coldfusion

My wife had to jump through some hoops when she got a DUI, so just be thankful that the consequences and penalties are not worse.

The other thread about OASAS is four years old, so this has been going on for a while. I would think that if it were illegal or unconstitutional, something would have been done by now.

scotty2b4

I admitted to driving, something I wish I didnt admit to, was told that I have a clean record, cooperation with help you, blah, blah, blah.

If I had to do it over, I would lie to the police. Something I never thought I would say, however, they did lie to me and took advantage of me for being intoxicated. I should of said who I was, and wait to speak to a lawyer. Period. The police, have put a sour taste in my mouth. I have raised charity events for fallen police officers and donate to the local police. My company also does quite a bit of charity work, this whole thing is making me rethink my priorities and stop helping people. I could use that money right now.

Bunny211

I hear a lot of blame. Bottom line is that you drove drunk. Period. It's all fine and well that you donate to fallen officers etc. It's great that you are a CEO and do some of the finest work in the state. But you drove drunk. You drink, you drive, you pay the price. You should be thankful that you did not hurt or kill anyone with your car. If you are here looking for support on getting sober we are all more than willing to help you. I'm not clear on what you are looking for other than you just want to have a pity party for yourself because you got caught drunk driving and seem to think it isn't fair that there are consequences for your actions.

scotty2b4

One would hope, but their are actually quite a few laws/government organizations unconstitutional, let alone money making schemes which are approved by the government. Can't sell raw milk, its illegal, but you sure can drink and sell alcohol, which used to be illegal, not to mention legalization of marijuana, Alcoholism is still debatable, its only because of our social habits that it became a label.

tomsteve

maybe it would be best to vent to your atty.

scotty2b4

Interesting post, seems I struck a nerve. You have every right to disagree with my claims, as do I. What I stated is clear, and Im sorry you mistake me for someone who is having a pity party for myself.

And yes, I do not feel the punishment fits the crime. No one got hurt, and I feel it distasteful that you would even mention that, as it is hypothetical and cant even be admissible. I could go on and on with examples, just dont want to get off topic. I've lost loved ones, lost my own son in my arms , could of sued the hospital, I dont play that card, life happens and we move on....or at least I do.

scotty2b4

wow, didnt think I would get such negative remarks, interesting that if I needed "treatment" you all would be negative. Clearly Im in the wrong site and maybe I should go to a legal site. Best of luck to you all. Driving drunk does not mean your an alcoholic, just looking for some similar situations,

ScottFromWI

Venting is fine Scotty - but please remember this is a sobriety forum, not a place to start arguments. We cannot give you legal advice here so if you feel you have a legal issue to discuss please do so with your attorney. So venting is certainly OK and so is discussing sobriety - that's what we do here. If you have any questions about that please ask away.

loulou1981

Hi, not really sure what info/advice ur after as it's not too clear?? Ru wondering if u have a drink problem?? Or just that ur upset about ur DUI effecting ur family?

scotty2b4

thank you! I was just giving some background info, maybe I shouldnt have. If I have to follow up with this treatment can they make my family participate? If I refuse to bring my wife, will that prolong the treatment. Let me be clear too, I have no problem taking on the punishment that they hand out to me, I would even sit in jail. I just dont want to subject my family to any heartache if I dont need to.

In my experiences, most situations are driven by money, just my opinion. If someone came to me in need, and really needed help, which has happened, I HELP them. and I do not ask for a payment. SIMPLE mathematics. Im not talking about paying fines, im talking about paying for treatment. Which I will do, just saying to truelly help someone, one wouldnt ask for payment. My lawyer isnt helping me as I have to pay him, he is giving me legal advice which I have to pay for. its a business transactions, just as these treatments are.

EndGameNYC

Unless you consider the following to be "social habits," it was more like billions of dollars annually of lost productivity in the workplace, severe and costly medical consequences as the result of drinking, lawlessness, including violent crimes, highway accidents and deaths, fetal alcohol syndrome and other birth defects, rising domestic abuse and suicides related to drinking that got people's attention.

The failed social experiment that was Prohibition did not significantly improve alcohol-related problems and, in many cases made things worse, while also producing newer problems that were unexpected consequences of making the ownership, sale and distribution of alcohol illegal.

What isn't debatable is personal responsibility. Whether legal or not, it was no one's responsibility but my own that I drank the way I did, that I didn't put down the drink until I'd destroyed so much of my life while bringing pain and suffering to other people, in spite of the fact that I didn't choose to be an alcoholic.

My bias is that I have very little sympathy for people who drive after drinking. Not being an alcoholic or only doing it (or getting caught) the one time is no excuse. In this day and age, it should no longer be a shock that the penalties for doing so are as harsh and as costly as they are.

I once coordinated a statewide, post-9/11 research study with OASAS, and they have their problems. The tendency is to play it safe, rather than let loose a potential multiple offender. It's all about liability and a natural predisposition to remand someone to treatment who's already exceeded the BAC legal limit. Once you put yourself and other people at risk with your behavior, you are then at the mercy of a bureaucracy that is completely and absolutely indifferent to your personal concerns, including things that are framed as mitigating circumstances.

Not everyone understands alcoholism as an affliction, and the stigma attached to it is often unfair, but you don't need a PhD to discern the obvious and destructive consequences of drinking in excess.

Sunflowerlife

I think maybe you simply posted this in the wrong type of forum. If I am reading this correctly you are saying that you do not have a drinking problem but are being told you need treatment because of a dui, is that correct?

This site is for those of us who do have a drinking problem or are wondering if we have a drinking problem (or other substances) and are looking for insight and support.

I don't think anyone is trying to judge you, I think we are just confused as to what type of response you are looking for.

I can tell you that the first time I was told I needed treatment I also did not think I was an alcoholic, so treatment didn't work. But that was 12 years ago. Now I know for a fact that I have a drinking problem and this forum has been my saving grace. I don't know your story so I don't have an option on whether you have a problem or not.

loulou1981

Well I don't know how the law works in the US (ur there right) here in the UK, if following ur court case ur given a DRR (drink/drug rehab requirement) then u have to complete it, it's NOTHING to do with ur family. If u fail to complete it then ur order will b revoked & arrested for breach & re attend court for a different outcome.
I don't c how ur family should have to be involved. It's nothing to do with them.
I will say though, that I appreciate ur peed off with the police, however it's a hard job & most countries have zero tolerance when it comes to drink driving, we have to because it can cause utter devastation. (I'm a police officer)!!!!

I would say, just get ur head down, jump through the hoops, if possible keep ur family out of it (unless u do have a drinking problem) & it will resolve itself soon

scotty2b4

ok thank you for the responses. I look at things a little differently I suppose. I know I dont have a drinking problem, so I shouldnt be on this site. I believe, that if Im required to take treatment, im labelled. so be it. Just looking for a similar situation, if we go off topic a little I dont mind, just like to keep it positive. Also, going back to looking at things different....just some food for thought....I look at drunk driving the same as one texting or talking on the phone while driving. I imagine a day, will the two will go hand in hand. same punishment, people will argue....and lo and behold, people will be labeled that they suffer from addictive habits using a mobile device, and treatment will be made available. Im sure its already in the making. My perspective.

scotty2b4

appreciate the feedback, yeah as messed up as it may seem, I would consider filing for a legal separation with my wife if she gets dragged in. Until it blows over, this is my bed, Im not dragging anyone else in to it. Unless she of course wants to. Yes, get through it as quickly as possible, so I can be positive again. Right now, Im bitter, and I dont like being in this state. I want to be a proud American, but its getting harder and harder.

ScottFromWI

Please keep in mind that you won't find people in a similar situation to you here ( those that don't have a drinking problem ) so with all due respect, your entire line of questioning is a bit off topic, and the responses will reflect that.

jobei

If a judge orders you to do something, it's probably a good IDEA to do it, even if you think it's unfair. Next time take a taxi, certainly sounds like you can afford it.

Zeebs

It's been more than 15 years, but I've been to court ordered treatment on more than one occasion for similar circumstances. Back then, I probably knew I was an addict/alcoholic, but I didn't care. Went to the treatments, jail, etc., then did want I wanted after. No family involvement; just me.