Kwhite

Hello, this is my 1st post and I am not sure what I am really doing by posting this. My family doesn't think I have a problem or that I am going thru withdrawals. They don't want to believe their mom and wife has a weak spot. I started taking pain medication 5 years ago for severe back pain. I had 2 fusions and 1 decompression also a labrum tear in my right hip. I am very active and not overweight. I am a do it all mom and no one goes without except me sometimes. I love them with all of my heart and soul but I suddenly felt like I couldn't do it all anymore and found comfort in taking a pill to help me get thru the day. The surgery seemed to help for a short period but that was ok because it was me excuse to get more pain medication. I was going to an excellent facility so they really cared which made it even harder to ask for more. Ok, so 5 years later and I started taking way too many pills a day. I realized that I looked terrible but thought I was on top of my game. I borrowed medicine from family and tried to justify it but in the end mom was falling apart. So here I a, day 5 without a pill and it hasn't been easy. I have all of the withdraw symptoms and I have made a solid promise never to touch a pain pill again period! I wish I had a little more support from my family but I don't think they want to face it either. I guess the most important thing is I have.

Purplrks3647

Welcome and congrats on 5 days! I'm still new here so I'm just sending a hug your way....keep the phone nearby in case you need to call someone!

Pedro1234

well done on 5 days.

Soberwolf

Welcome Kwhite

Kwhite

So I started my posting early this morning and it's now 10:15am. I full of emotions and there is way way to much running thru my mind. I am crying feeling like an unfit mother and wife asking myself how I let this happen. I am lost right now and it's hard to see what's next. I have no cravings but feelings like I need something to help me relax. I can't call my good friend because she is lost in her own things so I think it's a waste of my time. Oh well it did help just to type this and get some of this out. Bye for now.

Soberwolf

Your doing well Kwhite its normal to feel a lot of emotion in early sobriety this will pass & emotions will even out try not to beat yourself up x

Bunny211

Take it easy on yourself. You are taking steps to better yourself and your life. Take deep breaths. Can you do something nice for yourself today? Pamper yourself a bit?

Take it easy at the beginning. Lots of rest. Kind thoughts for yourself. Have you thought of AA or NA meetings at all?

Opivotal

Kwhite, we know what it's like. I'm sure your emotions are all over the place. Try and look forward instead of backwards. You've taken control of the situation and that takes courage. Good for you!

Please keep posting, you need support and we're here to offer it.

Welcome to SR!

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, Kwhite, and congratulations on 5 pill-free days.

Early sobriety is often an emotional rollercoaster; in time, though, things will level out and normalize.

least

Welcome to the family. Five days clean is a good start. I hope the support here can help you as much as it has helped me.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Kwhite

You'll find a ton of support here - really glad you found us

D

Kwhite

So tonight I feel awful. Very uncomfortable and can't sit still. My husband hates when I go to bed early and I feel bad but my body can't take another minute of staying up. I cried most of the day and most of it was feeling bad for my actions over the past few years. How do you spend years trying to justifying taking something so bad for you. Thanks for all of your support I am happy about finding comfort in this site. Good Night Everyone

Dee74

Early recovery is hard KWhite but it will get easier , trust me

D

Kwhite

Good Morning Everyone, It was definitely a tough night last night tossing and turning. I woke up with a really bad headache and took 4 Motrin. I looked outside and realized Spring is here. It made me feel a little better. Today is my mom day to get the house clean,etc. My son is on a basketball team and they are undefeated so they are going to the championship games. This makes me feel like life is worth living, Hope everyone has a really good day!

Kwhite

Hello, I got thru my mom duties which included housework but it's done. It's the 1st time in 3 years I did it without medication. I actually feel pretty good. The nighttime is still really bad:-(. Does anyone know why and what I can do to help myself thru it? I just get very antsy and want to fall asleep way to early.

Dee74

I have no scientific explanation as to why they happen Kwhite, but I can assure you they will fade and stop in time

I think we have to grin and bear it for a little while - just another consequence of drinking/withdrawal.

D

Kwhite

Thanks D74 ......I have so far to go but I am happy I got this far.

Kwhite

Oh by the way, Good Night Everyone :-)

least

It will get better with more time.

Kwhite

Good Morning, I slept thru the night but going to bed was terrible. Tossing and turning and then I finally fell asleep. It's almost like the thing I loved the most which was sitting down at night and watching tv with my husband has become a challenge. I don't get it. Today I am going for a hike and then grocery shopping. I feel really good this morning and I see how far I've come since last Monday. I am deathly afraid of ever feeling this bad again. Is this a good sign?