7piccolo

I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for the past 6 years. We have had many ups and downs and fights and blow outs. I have made the mistake of arguing back with him and he always seems to blame me for everything. He has been able to keep a very good government job and he also collects a police pension although he is only in his mid 50s. Well a year ago he announced that he was quitting the government and going to travel and live on his pension. He was not too concerned with the fact that we lived together and I had to go back home and live with my mother until I could get back on my feet. Well it wasn’t more that a couple weeks of his travels that he found himself not happy (if wasn’t the sandy beached he thought it was. He kept contacting me and offered a warm weather compromise. Well I finally caved in and agreed. Last summer I moved from the east coast to Boise and he promised he loved me and would never do that again. In Feb. he announced he was going to rehab (in Malibu). He left came back a month later, seeming all positive and had hit checklist of tools. get psychologist, go to meeting, exercise. For three days he was great with that. Then he started with a glass of wine (of course his excuse, we were having a steak, don’t they go together) . He was still going to gym with he signed us both up for and was slowly getting back to old habits. He meet with his new psychologist and after the first couple meeting and explaining to her his sexual abuse as a young boy he came home seeming agitated. His agitation grew over the next couple day. He picked a fight with me last Friday after drinking. Was screaming crazy stuff, he was mad at me for snooping on him. He was in the driveway pacing that he didn’t feel same. Said he was going to rehab. I asked him if could talk and he said yes the next day when he wasn’t drinking. The next day I had an appointment with my counselor. He left with his suitcase while I was gone. I texted him and he put all the blame on me. Said I hadn’t been supportive since he went to rehab. Said I treated him like a loser. He cashed in the last 25,000 of his 401k and went to Vegas for a few days and now I believe his in Cabo. He said he is not getting what he needs from me and that he will continue to pay the rent. Said he will be back May 1st. Our lease is up on June 30th. I am devastated. I am 2700 miles from my family. I do have a job here but not sure if I can afford to live on my own. I would go back east but I don’t have a job there. I know I need to let go of this man but I am so sad and lost. I trusted him. He promised he wouldn’t do this to me again..

Nero427

Find a job back east and move. Or vice versa. Whatever it takes, because I don't think you have much of a future where you are, with who you're with.

My first wife convinced me to leave a good job and my family. And move across country and live happily ever after. Six months later she filed for divorce and lied to get an exparte order of protection to kick me out of the house. I loaded up my Olds 98 and drove back to where I came from. Bowed but not broken.

Liveitwell

He is a liar. And a good one! (Most alcoholics can lie and charm your pants off-literally). He promised, and he lied. You can either feel sorry for yourself or you can DO something about it! Pack your bags and be gone! Get on with your life bc it sounds like he's a second away from imploding.

atalose

I think AGAIN is the key word here.

We get stuck in this dance of make up break up cycle that only leads us right back around to the same place.

Head back to the East Coast, look for a job and close the book on this ill fated relationship.

He's spending money like water, trusting him to continue to pay the rent is a huge gamble.

AnvilheadII

you should have known something was up when his "warm weather" compromise was BOISE.

seriously tho, dude is obviously a flake. and you got sucked in. i heartily agree with others - go home and find a job, or secure a job and then go. but don't wait around for Mr Footloose and Fancy free to come crawling back, broke and still unsatisfied.

it wasn't YOU that couldn't fulfill his needs......the problem is wherever he goes, THERE he is!

Nero427

I did a double take and had to re-read that portion again!

thequest

Sounds like a mash up of mid life crisis, lying, addiction and/or doesn't know what he wants. Early retiree cashes in a 401k to do what?-doesn't care about the future, not a good sign.

Too many issues here.

Lilro

Pack your bags and get going.....

Do not wait for him one more second. You deserve soooooooo much more than that! He sounds like an overgrown child.

It's not you, it's him.