Hello again, hello
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Calif
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Hello again, hello
Hello Everyone, new and old:
Haven't posted in years. To give you a little background info, because I'm sure everyone has forgotten me, here you go:
My adult son WASa drug addict for years. His DOC was meth. I hung in there for 35 years. I was a short putt fromthe edge when I found this forum! Thank you Lord. After meeting with wonderful people here, I actually found I was able to "let go with love!" There you have it, that's the lesson, "let go with love!" Once I let go, God took the job over, and He did a far better job than I had in far less time!
Five years ago my husband and I adopted our great-granddaughter. My son's daughter's child. She was almost 3 and already was an expert on stealing credit cards, and was a pretty good shoplifter too! Yep, she sure came in handy! Kidding!
Today she is almost 9 years old, an honor student, on the student council, is the head of her class, active in church, and the moral of the story is, God kept sending me children, until I learned to do it right! I've learned to do it right this time! Do you know how? Here's how:
Make them face up to every single problem! Don't help RESCUE them! When you warn them, make sure you follow through with whatever you promised would happen if they didn't obey! Preach college! Love them, but not to the point where you cripple them!
Had I only done that before! Don't waste anymore tears and worries, because what is going to happen will happen no matter how much you worry or cry! Biggest lesson is LET GO, and LET GOD do His job!
I know this is long, but one more thing. Update on my son today!
He is remarried now for 4 years, his wife has two children. 17 and 10. He is clean now for 5 years (he is 54) productive, happy, and very strict, but fair with the children! OMG, I can't believe how strict he is!
He doesn't smoke, drink or do drugs. He looks wonderful, healthy and thanks the Lord every day. He had been a drug user for about 30 plus years.
He will take over for us with his grandchild, when we go. All I can say is there really is a light at the end of the tunnel (not a train either)! Hang in there, and instead of worrying, pray. When you're praying, you're not worrying, and when you're worrying, you're not praying! WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN WILL HAPPEN NOT MATTER WHAT YOU DO! Today we laugh at how many times the Warden at SQ asked my son to please ask me not to call or write him anymore! Oh, if my favorite "red head" Ann is still around she'll tell you how crazy I was. I would even call the Chaplin to have him run messages to my son when he was in San Quentin! OMG!
SORRY ABOUT BEING LONG! HUGS, DEVASTATED
Haven't posted in years. To give you a little background info, because I'm sure everyone has forgotten me, here you go:
My adult son WASa drug addict for years. His DOC was meth. I hung in there for 35 years. I was a short putt fromthe edge when I found this forum! Thank you Lord. After meeting with wonderful people here, I actually found I was able to "let go with love!" There you have it, that's the lesson, "let go with love!" Once I let go, God took the job over, and He did a far better job than I had in far less time!
Five years ago my husband and I adopted our great-granddaughter. My son's daughter's child. She was almost 3 and already was an expert on stealing credit cards, and was a pretty good shoplifter too! Yep, she sure came in handy! Kidding!
Today she is almost 9 years old, an honor student, on the student council, is the head of her class, active in church, and the moral of the story is, God kept sending me children, until I learned to do it right! I've learned to do it right this time! Do you know how? Here's how:
Make them face up to every single problem! Don't help RESCUE them! When you warn them, make sure you follow through with whatever you promised would happen if they didn't obey! Preach college! Love them, but not to the point where you cripple them!
Had I only done that before! Don't waste anymore tears and worries, because what is going to happen will happen no matter how much you worry or cry! Biggest lesson is LET GO, and LET GOD do His job!
I know this is long, but one more thing. Update on my son today!
He is remarried now for 4 years, his wife has two children. 17 and 10. He is clean now for 5 years (he is 54) productive, happy, and very strict, but fair with the children! OMG, I can't believe how strict he is!
He doesn't smoke, drink or do drugs. He looks wonderful, healthy and thanks the Lord every day. He had been a drug user for about 30 plus years.
He will take over for us with his grandchild, when we go. All I can say is there really is a light at the end of the tunnel (not a train either)! Hang in there, and instead of worrying, pray. When you're praying, you're not worrying, and when you're worrying, you're not praying! WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN WILL HAPPEN NOT MATTER WHAT YOU DO! Today we laugh at how many times the Warden at SQ asked my son to please ask me not to call or write him anymore! Oh, if my favorite "red head" Ann is still around she'll tell you how crazy I was. I would even call the Chaplin to have him run messages to my son when he was in San Quentin! OMG!
SORRY ABOUT BEING LONG! HUGS, DEVASTATED
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Calif
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ardy:
When I was on the forum regularly, and I was totally "devastated" all the time, (thus the name) Ann, who was on the forum then (don't know if she still is) kept promising me that things would get better! Although I wanted to believe that, it was difficult for me, but, guess what? Things did get better! For that, I thank the Lord every day! I never thought I would live to see the day, but I did! Now I have an 8 year old and lots of experience!! God knows what He's doing, trust HIM!
Hugs, Dev
Hugs, Dev
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Join Date: Nov 2002
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dandylion
How about great-grandmothers? Same place? LOL
Now I have to share this with you all 'cause I thought it was hysterical! You know we all have to learn to pick our battles with our children right, well when the following two things took place, I didn't know which battle to chose, so I took both! LOL
Right before Xmas, I was going through my email and saw that my delivery was on it's way. Whatever I had ordered was 350.00. What? What the heck did I order. I'm reading outloud, the g.gd. is doing homework. She said, "Oh, Nana, I ordered that XBox, but didn't think it would go through!" OMG, NOOOOOO, shades of her grandfather!!! So I explained why she could do that, and sent it back. A few days later I got a call from a grandfather and the conversation went like this. "Hello, Mrs.???, yes, this is she...he proceeds to tell me that his grandson was in ggd's class, and that she had written him a check for 6,000,000. I was stunned! I said, "so, what, it was enough?" No immediate reply, now he's stunned! He said, this was off account #, and gave me the number. Yep, my real checking account! He said, not to worry I didn't cash it. OMG, thank you Lord, it would have emptied my account!! LOL Anyway, I decided to review the 10 Commandments with her, got to "Thou Shall Not Steal" and said, this one applies to you. She thought about it for a few seconds and then said, "but Nana, it doesn't say a single thing about writing checks!" You got to love them! Darling, I think you've missed the point. This is stealing 'cause you took the check from my purse! She responds, "Nana, it's not like I was going behind your back, I walked right in front of you!" OMG, hope this is not a sample of things to come!! No, she explained she wrote the check 'cause these people need money so badly. The boy comes to school in jammies most of the time! LOL
Sorry, for taking up all your time reading, but just want you all to know, you will laugh again one day!! I have, over and over! Aren't you glad I haven't been around for a long while??
Now I have to share this with you all 'cause I thought it was hysterical! You know we all have to learn to pick our battles with our children right, well when the following two things took place, I didn't know which battle to chose, so I took both! LOL
Right before Xmas, I was going through my email and saw that my delivery was on it's way. Whatever I had ordered was 350.00. What? What the heck did I order. I'm reading outloud, the g.gd. is doing homework. She said, "Oh, Nana, I ordered that XBox, but didn't think it would go through!" OMG, NOOOOOO, shades of her grandfather!!! So I explained why she could do that, and sent it back. A few days later I got a call from a grandfather and the conversation went like this. "Hello, Mrs.???, yes, this is she...he proceeds to tell me that his grandson was in ggd's class, and that she had written him a check for 6,000,000. I was stunned! I said, "so, what, it was enough?" No immediate reply, now he's stunned! He said, this was off account #, and gave me the number. Yep, my real checking account! He said, not to worry I didn't cash it. OMG, thank you Lord, it would have emptied my account!! LOL Anyway, I decided to review the 10 Commandments with her, got to "Thou Shall Not Steal" and said, this one applies to you. She thought about it for a few seconds and then said, "but Nana, it doesn't say a single thing about writing checks!" You got to love them! Darling, I think you've missed the point. This is stealing 'cause you took the check from my purse! She responds, "Nana, it's not like I was going behind your back, I walked right in front of you!" OMG, hope this is not a sample of things to come!! No, she explained she wrote the check 'cause these people need money so badly. The boy comes to school in jammies most of the time! LOL
Sorry, for taking up all your time reading, but just want you all to know, you will laugh again one day!! I have, over and over! Aren't you glad I haven't been around for a long while??
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
What do you mean "if Ann is still here"...of course I am, I have been keeping my friend Dev's seat saved for 14 years this month!!! 
Dev, it's always wonderful to hear from you and I cannot believe your little angel great granddaughter is now 9, but please that she is an honour student...she must have your smart genes. And yay and hallelujah, the boy finally found some good sense and has been clean for some time!! God listens, Dev, even to whiny ladies like us. God listens when the Warden won't even take your calls.
I almost missed you today, I was away, and I'm on the run tonight but will check in tomorrow and bring you a coffee and cheesecake.
Love you lots, we've walked this road together so long now that we don't need a map. You held me up when I was low, I held you up when your stiletto boots let go, we held each other up when we laughed so hard we couldn't stand up alone anymore.
Big hugs from the great white north...and extra hugs for that sweet hubby of yours for putting up with both of us.
Dev, it's always wonderful to hear from you and I cannot believe your little angel great granddaughter is now 9, but please that she is an honour student...she must have your smart genes. And yay and hallelujah, the boy finally found some good sense and has been clean for some time!! God listens, Dev, even to whiny ladies like us. God listens when the Warden won't even take your calls.
I almost missed you today, I was away, and I'm on the run tonight but will check in tomorrow and bring you a coffee and cheesecake.
Love you lots, we've walked this road together so long now that we don't need a map. You held me up when I was low, I held you up when your stiletto boots let go, we held each other up when we laughed so hard we couldn't stand up alone anymore.
Big hugs from the great white north...and extra hugs for that sweet hubby of yours for putting up with both of us.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
So great to see you, dear Dev! Can't believe your great grandaughter is 9! Sorry, but I had to laugh about the check and the xbox . Hope she learns that's not okay but she's got your spunk
I'm glad your son and family are doing so well. I still often think of the prison wedding that almost was.
It sounds like you are quite busy, but Ann always holds your seat for you and we do love it when you drop by.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I'm glad your son and family are doing so well. I still often think of the prison wedding that almost was.
It sounds like you are quite busy, but Ann always holds your seat for you and we do love it when you drop by.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,254
Don't rescue them , Cannot agree more. I already learned what the effect of not enabling an alkie/addict does. I like the saying necessity is the mother of invention. If they need or want money or what ever and you won't give it to them they'll at least go elsewhere even if not to a new/sober path.
I wish I could convince those who are afraid to "push" the alkie/addict over the edge because they don't seem to realize the alkie/addict has to fall down to get back up and start moving again, don't drag them.
Glad to see a good outcome after all those years.
PEACE
I wish I could convince those who are afraid to "push" the alkie/addict over the edge because they don't seem to realize the alkie/addict has to fall down to get back up and start moving again, don't drag them.
Glad to see a good outcome after all those years.
PEACE
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Calif
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Hello, hello, hello, my good friend, Ann, Impurrfect!!
OMG, it is so good to know you are all well!
Yes, son is doing very well, thank you, and Ann and all the others that kept me believing all would be well one day!
OMG, remember the prison wedding? Ann do you still have your dress? What a hoot that was. He finally picked a decent girl with a job yet! Whoa!
Now, I'm going to tell you about this guy probably 32 that picks up his children after school. He smokes pot, for sure, wears his pants around his knees, and is pretty much a jerk! The other day he came up to me and gave me this sad story about how someone stole 50.00 bucks from him that was in his room. He had no money to get gas, and, that means he can't get to work! Could I loan him, and I do mean LOAN him $20 for gas. I looked at him and said, Really? Wow, that's terrible. I'll bet I know who took your money!! He was wided-eyed and said, "Really?" Who? I said, "your drug dealer!" "Just to bring you up to speed, this is not my first rodeo, save the drama for a novice at life!!" He walked away...I yelled, "and pull up your pants!" LOL
He actually thought I had never heard that story before! There is something to be said about experience, right?
Yes, son is doing very well, thank you, and Ann and all the others that kept me believing all would be well one day!
OMG, remember the prison wedding? Ann do you still have your dress? What a hoot that was. He finally picked a decent girl with a job yet! Whoa!
Now, I'm going to tell you about this guy probably 32 that picks up his children after school. He smokes pot, for sure, wears his pants around his knees, and is pretty much a jerk! The other day he came up to me and gave me this sad story about how someone stole 50.00 bucks from him that was in his room. He had no money to get gas, and, that means he can't get to work! Could I loan him, and I do mean LOAN him $20 for gas. I looked at him and said, Really? Wow, that's terrible. I'll bet I know who took your money!! He was wided-eyed and said, "Really?" Who? I said, "your drug dealer!" "Just to bring you up to speed, this is not my first rodeo, save the drama for a novice at life!!" He walked away...I yelled, "and pull up your pants!" LOL
He actually thought I had never heard that story before! There is something to be said about experience, right?
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Greeteachday
Hello to you too! How are you? Gosh, what a great reunion! I would have invited you all to son's wedding, but it was so boring. You know not in prison, but Tahoe! No guards, etc.
Ann, remember how my son complained about the thread count on the pillow cases in prison! OMG, to think I was devastated to hear that the poor boy had something other than 1000 count pillow cases! LOL
When the poor ggd complains about something, I tell her "get use to it!"
She knows every proverb! The other day I was trying to decide whether or not to throw out old books. I said, well I might as well get rid of the bookcase as well. She then pops in and says "Nana, don't throw the baby out with the bath water!" LOL HUH?
Ann, remember how my son complained about the thread count on the pillow cases in prison! OMG, to think I was devastated to hear that the poor boy had something other than 1000 count pillow cases! LOL
When the poor ggd complains about something, I tell her "get use to it!"
She knows every proverb! The other day I was trying to decide whether or not to throw out old books. I said, well I might as well get rid of the bookcase as well. She then pops in and says "Nana, don't throw the baby out with the bath water!" LOL HUH?
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
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I remember you.
We've had some sad stories here the past several weeks, so I thank you for posting a story that has a happy ending, both for you and your son. My hope is our members -- both newbies and veterans still in their wars -- take your words and example to heart.
God bless you, your son, and your family.
We've had some sad stories here the past several weeks, so I thank you for posting a story that has a happy ending, both for you and your son. My hope is our members -- both newbies and veterans still in their wars -- take your words and example to heart.
God bless you, your son, and your family.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
"Just to bring you up to speed, this is not my first rodeo, save the drama for a novice at life!!" He walked away...I yelled, "and pull up your pants!"
Dev, you made my day.
For the newcomers here, these are some things I learned from Dev, get your pencils ready... I learned...
Never put the prison warden on speed dial, it makes them testy. *snork*
Never send messages to the prison with a pastor...he only takes messages from God and we are NOT him.
Never wear a black and white dress to a prison wedding...you will blend with the crowd and when the wedding is called off you will have difficulty finding a safe place to wear it.
Do not sleep with your keys under your pillow...it will give your bed head hairdo a whole new angle.
DO say no and mean it.
DO open your heart and home to the precious child that needs a safe place.
DO believe that things will get better...because they will.
DO lean on your friends here, all day every day if you need to.
DO keep your sense of humour...you will need it and it will see you through some pretty tough times.
DO let go and let God. In the end God can do for our loved ones what we cannot. God doesn't need speed dial.
Dev, I love you lots and hope you stick around for a while and let the newcomers know how you made it through the hard times. You are a spirit of light and sunshine and brighten any day with your smile and your spirit.
Hugs and hugs
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Thank you Ann, I never could have made it without you keeping up my spirit and making me repeat "IT WILL GET BETTER, I PROMISE YOU!" Thank you so much. Remember how many druggies you visited? OMG, how many did we come face to face with!! Mothers never stop, do they?
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Originally Posted by devastated 
Hey Ann, look at my avatar, I haven't changed a bit nor has my great Italian husband!!
I'll bet that guy about melted into the sidewalk when you said his dealer took him money!
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Greeteachday
Oh yeah, he just about fell over. I caught him so off-guard, that he couldn't even think of the next lie! I also said, "oh, incidentally, just to let you know, this is not my first rodeo!" He walked away with his head hung low (a well as his pants, that I told him to pull up!)! My son would never have worn his pants like that, how can you run from the cops? Got to be smart! LOL
I'll bet he'll think twice before he tries to con another "old lady!" HE, HE HE
I'll bet he'll think twice before he tries to con another "old lady!" HE, HE HE
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I forgot...yes, I forgot something else important that I learned from you Dev....follow me here...
San Quentin's bed linens are of poor thread count, almost scratchy they are!
Now I ask you, how many mamas do you think know that? Huh? I mean if you walked up to a random 50 women and asked "Do you KNOW the thread count of the linens at San Quentin Prison?".....not one would know (but they would all think you were bat poop crazy, lol, and we know that's not true either!)
We know things that no mama should ever know, but we are wiser for the knowing. We have been places no mama ought ever go, but we are stronger for the going.
You and I may be the only mama's I know who call our over 40 sons "our boys" and laugh at the prisons that tried to hold them, and although we have never met in person (we really need to do something about that one day), we are sisters at heart, mamas joined at the hip (and your hips are soooo much bigger than mine *snork*) and we will always be an important part of each other's recovery.
I love you lots, dear Dev. And I love your Italian chef husband who thinks I am a foxy Canadian lady, too.
San Quentin's bed linens are of poor thread count, almost scratchy they are!
Now I ask you, how many mamas do you think know that? Huh? I mean if you walked up to a random 50 women and asked "Do you KNOW the thread count of the linens at San Quentin Prison?".....not one would know (but they would all think you were bat poop crazy, lol, and we know that's not true either!)
We know things that no mama should ever know, but we are wiser for the knowing. We have been places no mama ought ever go, but we are stronger for the going.
You and I may be the only mama's I know who call our over 40 sons "our boys" and laugh at the prisons that tried to hold them, and although we have never met in person (we really need to do something about that one day), we are sisters at heart, mamas joined at the hip (and your hips are soooo much bigger than mine *snork*) and we will always be an important part of each other's recovery.
I love you lots, dear Dev. And I love your Italian chef husband who thinks I am a foxy Canadian lady, too.
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