Mrskw

I have a great environment for being sober. I am not often in situations where there is alcohol/drinking.

My marriage isn't perfect but it's pretty close and my husband takes amazing care of me.

My addiction doesn't make sense to me.

I am frightened about what's going on inside me; health wise.

I am impatient about everything. I wish I could click my fingers and rid my body of all toxins; but it will take time.

I have always avoided things like mocktails while out because of calories and sugar (which is ridiculous all things considered) but I think its time to start trying new things.

I love spending a lot of time in the gym lifting weights, cardio and eating healthy food; and alcohol is holding me back from being the best me that I can be. There are so many things I want to be and sober is one of them.

I might tape a little note saying 'Sober' to the inside of my purse for those times I go into autopilot and pick up a bottle in the supermarket.

Dee74

I think starting a journal thread is a great idea mrskw

D

Mrskw

Thank you Dee74! I keep getting random thoughts that I want to get out so I thought here would be a good place.

OldTomato

I hope this thread helps you Mrskw

Mrskw

Thank you OldTomato!

MikeM

You do have a good attitude towards getting sober, Mrskw. You want to be healthy and are motivated to do what it takes. So go for it!

Btw, I found one line in your post that I'd like to comment on:

"I have always avoided things like mocktails while out because of calories and sugar (which is ridiculous all things considered)"

I disagree. It's not ridiculous, it's smart. Just because you've been putting unhealthy stuff in your body, it's always better to avoid even more unhealthy stuff.

It shows that you're very aware of your health. Good thing! I think you'll find a lot of motivation in that for your sobriety.

Mrskw

Thank you so much MikeM! And you are right about not putting more unhealthy stuff in; I think that's what I meant by my addiction not making sense to me! I LOVE exercise and eating healthily so I don't know why I ruin it with alcohol.

Seeing things like your 30 day mile stone is highly motivating for me, so thank you for that. Keep going!

Mrskw

My plan for some hardcore studying is not going well; binge watching The L Word is far too easy on Netflix!

Counting down the hours waiting for my husband to get home from work.

Trying to resist to eating everything in sight.

Convincing myself to go to the gym at some point but feeling mega lazy today.

I have a pretty good life so I should take care of myself better to fully enjoy it and appreciate it; for as long as possible.

MikeM

You're just starting to get adjusted to an alcohol free life. It's not surprising you're binge watching, wanting to eat and are feeling lazy. It happens. It will pass too.

Don't worry about it. Tomorrow's another day and you can go work out then if you want to.

Do plan to create the life you want. But it doesn't have to be planned and completed today. Take your lazy day. Plan something for tomorrow to get moving in the right direction.

Mrskw

Thanks MikeM, I suppose I shouldn't feel too guilty about it and should just concentrate on getting myself well mentally and physically. Tomorrow is a day for doing!

Thank you; I hope you're having a great day.

Soberwolf

D is spot-on having a journal is such a great sobriety tool excellent for reflection

Mrskw

Thank you soberwolf; I feel the need to have the odd ramble and this feels better than having a hand written journal.

Thank you everyone for commenting. I hope you're all well and good.

Anna

MrsKw, do take time to be kind to yourself. It's great that you want to work out at the gym and eat very healthy food. Those are good things you can do for you. But, being kind to yourself is also very important. I say this because I was so critical of myself in early recovery. I wanted to be 'fixed' at once and it didn't work that way. In fact, I will always be a work in progress.

Mrskw

Thank you so much Anna; I'm working on going easier on myself with lots of things which will hopefully mean less anxiety. That's a good way to look it; always being a work in progress. Always learning and developing. I hope you're having a good day!

bandicoot2

Hi Mrskw and thank you for posting!

Anna is right about being kind to yourself, especially in the early days of Sobriety.
During my first few weeks, I slept a lot, drank tons of water, took it easy, binge watched whatever looked good, ate really healthy food, took long slow walks, and didn't feel guilty at all because I knew my body and mind needed all that extra coddling. Hugs to you

I'm on Day 70 and just now starting to feel really energetic. It just gets better and better-

OldTomato

Don't be too hard on yourself Mrskw, you're pulling all the stops out to be sober already and that's great!

Mrskw

Hi bandicoot2! Thank you for the advice; being coddled and everything you say you did sounds exactly like I what I need. Hugs!

And congratulations on 70 days that's amazing!! So glad you're feeling good. Keep it up!

Mrskw

Thank you OldTomato, really trying my best! I hope you're having a good day.

Mrskw

Not long till bedtime now. Been a pretty reflective day.

I hope I can wake up tomorrow feeling good and fresh.

Had three strokes of bad luck in the past week (I believe everything comes in threes). Dropped a five day old iphone in the toilet, now its kaput. Then I broke my shower. THEN I went to my parent's house with them away and forgot the house alarm code and it took FOREVER to get in touch with them for it. Mortifying.

So that's been testing. Then today I accidently saw my favourite poison in the shop earlier DIRT cheap; cheaper than I've ever seen it going for. I so, so wish could unsee it. I'm sure it will niggle my mind that its sat there on the shelf for a couple of days.

BUT to end on a positive note I will be going bed able to say that I didn't drink today.

OldTomato

Well done on staying sober, I hope your luck improves!