Numb No More
Recognizes the Beast
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: In the kitchen, cooking up a storm
Posts: 704
Numb No More
Recently watched a movie the other day I hadn't seen in quite a while. Postcards From the Edge, based on the memoirs of Carrie Fisher. Great flick about addiction and recovery if you haven't seen it.
There was one scene I remember watching, close to when it first came out, maybe 15 years ago. The director was laying into this actress, yelling something along the lines of "You're a selfish, narcissistic, spoiled little brat who doesn't have any right to expect a shred of sympathy from anyone else."
To which she replied: "I know, I know. It's just.....I can't feel my life. I see it all around me, but I can't feel it." That line resonanted with me the first time I saw it, stilldeep in my addiction and alcoholism. I thought, yes that's exactly right! I can't feel my life either.
I was a pretty confused guy when I was drinking, and lots of things that were going on in my head didn't make a lot sense. Obviously when Fisher wrote that book she was wise to the ways of recovery. She knew that she was using drugs and alcohol to mask and blunt the powerful feelings and painful emotions inside her, and blocking everything else out in the process.
After 40 months of continuous sobriety, I can say that recovery has given me a million different things. Today I acknowledge it has given me the ability to feel my life again, and for that I am grateful.
There was one scene I remember watching, close to when it first came out, maybe 15 years ago. The director was laying into this actress, yelling something along the lines of "You're a selfish, narcissistic, spoiled little brat who doesn't have any right to expect a shred of sympathy from anyone else."
To which she replied: "I know, I know. It's just.....I can't feel my life. I see it all around me, but I can't feel it." That line resonanted with me the first time I saw it, stilldeep in my addiction and alcoholism. I thought, yes that's exactly right! I can't feel my life either.
I was a pretty confused guy when I was drinking, and lots of things that were going on in my head didn't make a lot sense. Obviously when Fisher wrote that book she was wise to the ways of recovery. She knew that she was using drugs and alcohol to mask and blunt the powerful feelings and painful emotions inside her, and blocking everything else out in the process.
After 40 months of continuous sobriety, I can say that recovery has given me a million different things. Today I acknowledge it has given me the ability to feel my life again, and for that I am grateful.
And thank you for your message of hope. 
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
