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Insomnia in Early Recovery

Old 03-08-2016, 08:11 PM
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Insomnia in Early Recovery

I once had a psychiatrist tell me that the closest we ever come to psychosis is when we are asleep, dreaming. And I remember how, in the early stages of my recovery from a periodic relapse, I had the usual insomnia, tossing and turning, compulsively yearning for sleep as a respite from hyperactivity. This usually lasted about two or three nights, if I was lucky. And I remember one occasion when I seemed frantic, desperate for an unconscious moment, ready to do anything for the solace of sleep, when a sense of blissful serenity came like an enveloping cloud and I seemed reassured from some hidden source that everything would be alright. And so I fell into a sound and deeply refreshing sleep and my recovery began. That was nearly 29 years ago and I have not had a drink since. Yet, just this afternoon, shortly after taking blood pressure medications which have a soporific effect, I dozed off and had a deeply depressing nightmare. It was as if I was at odds with my wife and family, rejecting their concern for me and isolating myself in some sad and lonely way. I was glad to wake up and find myself once more in a much happier and encouraging world.
The reason I say this is to suggest to those who are in the early stages of recovery to (1) not drink, (2) seek medical help, and (3) try to be patient, let nature take its course, give your body time to heal, normalize its metabolism, awaken the brain’s more rational regions. Sleep will eventually return even if, at first, it does not come in the night time. Lying awake in the early morning hours, it may help to watch TV if it is available either on a set or on a computer, taking care to avoid horror movies and the like! For one should gradually subdue the horrors which lie within.

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Old 03-08-2016, 09:25 PM
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Interestingly enough, I was discussing this with my therapist today. In the past, when I would get sober, I would have excruciating anxiety over my insomnia. This time around, almost two weeks in, my sleep is sporadic and unpredictable. My therapist said "You seem to be at ease with not sleeping." To my astonishment, I said the phrase "When I'm ready to sleep, I'll sleep." Being comfortable and relaxed and stable is a new experience for me. I often find this new state disorienting, but in moments when I relax into it, I find brief interludes of the peace that I have only seen in others. And, when I'm ready to sleep, I'll sleep.
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Old 03-08-2016, 10:51 PM
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I'am in early recovery yet once again (Day27) and the insomnia has been brutal this time around. Until that is, A freind who knew of my plight recommended a hot tea of all things...at bed time. I've never been much for hot tea but I have realized it can be and is a God send to help calm, soothe and relax me at Bed time. It is similar to a mild seditive. I would have never thought it but it does indeed work. Yes, it could be a placebo effect...but whatever works WORKS !

I've had a cup each night for abt 2 weeks now and I will make it a part of my bed time ritual from now on !

Though I would pass that on.

DD
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Old 03-08-2016, 11:11 PM
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It goes away eventually. I have always had trouble with sleep even before I was drinking. But I still have some progress after not drinking for 2.5 months. I went from very bad insomnia to very interrupted sleep. But, it's still progress!
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Old 03-08-2016, 11:33 PM
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Well said! Trouble getting to sleep kept me from even trying to quit for many years.
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Old 03-08-2016, 11:33 PM
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I had a hard time sleeping the first few weeks of recovery. But since then, I sleep very well. It just takes time for the brain to adjust to normal functioning. It will get better.
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Old 03-09-2016, 04:44 AM
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I'm a few days into recovery, but sleeping only a few hours. The thing is, the sleep is so much better, I feel like I slept 10 hours.

I think exercise was key after the first week or so. Maybe try training for a triathalon, or something big. I was sleeping a solid 10 hours when training for endurance events.
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Old 03-09-2016, 09:34 AM
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I am recovering from a stupid planned bender Feb 19th-22nd and after it I knew my only withdrawl insomnia would happen but I stayed relaxed and worked through it. I never layed awake more than 30 minutes. I found that not fearing it helps.

Today is day 16.
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Old 03-09-2016, 09:41 AM
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I was fortunate enough not to experience nightmares when I quit. I do dream on occasion in a manner which I think is normal. That said, 2 nights ago I had a terrible dream. I had killed someone (a very bad person from my past) and I spent what seemed to be an endless amount of time running away from being caught with the body. It was intense. I'm sure it had some subconscious meaning.
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Old 03-09-2016, 10:56 AM
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Originally Posted by thomas11 View Post
I was fortunate enough not to experience nightmares when I quit. I do dream on occasion in a manner which I think is normal. That said, 2 nights ago I had a terrible dream. I had killed someone (a very bad person from my past) and I spent what seemed to be an endless amount of time running away from being caught with the body. It was intense. I'm sure it had some subconscious meaning.
That's something that happens to me. Freud has not been entirely discredited since it is quite obvious that dreams reflect anxieties, some or perhaps most of them unconscious. Despite my sobriety, I have my share of them, guilt for the drinking years, worry about my wife's possible cancer situation, worry about my sons and grandchildren, even worry about my ten year old dog and what might happen if I die before he does. Whether my wife would be able to take care of him properly or whether he should spend the rest of his life back with his wonderful breeder, happy with other little dogs like he is. He is the sunlight of my life. It's very simple. So often I think that it may be better not to dream. It would be better not to be at all. If it were all as it was before I was born. Not that one should be sorry for the gift of life. Only if it is possible to leave behind something which has changed for the better. That is enough. To leave a footprint behind, like the ones scrawled on walls in WW2: "Kilroy was here....."

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Old 03-09-2016, 11:17 AM
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This is why I start winding down around this time 7-8pm then some reading to help me get a lil more tired sometimes followed by meditation
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Old 03-09-2016, 11:24 AM
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I love reading your posts Wpainterw, so intelligent, reflective, interesting, thought provoking. Thank you. I hope you're having a good day.
xx
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Old 03-09-2016, 12:56 PM
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Originally Posted by FarToGo View Post
I love reading your posts Wpainterw, so intelligent, reflective, interesting, thought provoking. Thank you. I hope you're having a good day.
xx
Thanks so much. But is that not part of the uncertainty? "Having a good day" means many things to many people. The well meaning, caring person (you), the angry person behind the cash register, the home invader leaving the house with your wife's diamond ring (or spiriting away a bottle of pills which he thinks are benzos but which are in fact laxatives and you shout that after him). Or your worst enemy driving your Rolls Royce over a cliff and everyone shouts "Have a good day!"

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Old 03-09-2016, 05:06 PM
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Originally Posted by wpainterw View Post
That's something that happens to me. Freud has not been entirely discredited since it is quite obvious that dreams reflect anxieties, some or perhaps most of them unconscious. Despite my sobriety, I have my share of them, guilt for the drinking years, worry about my wife's possible cancer situation, worry about my sons and grandchildren, even worry about my ten year old dog and what might happen if I die before he does. Whether my wife would be able to take care of him properly or whether he should spend the rest of his life back with his wonderful breeder, happy with other little dogs like he is. He is the sunlight of my life. It's very simple. So often I think that it may be better not to dream. It would be better not to be at all. If it were all as it was before I was born. Not that one should be sorry for the gift of life. Only if it is possible to leave behind something which has changed for the better. That is enough. To leave a footprint behind, like the ones scrawled on walls in WW2: "Kilroy was here....."

W.
Hi Bill, I think I understand where you might be coming from. I too want to leave the earth having made some small contribution and difference. I only have my wife, but I stress what would happen to her if I were not around. But in the end, it is acceptance (probably not unlike alcoholism) that helps me. Acceptance that we are mortal, and the reality is when we are gone, life will continue as it has before us, and after us.
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Old 03-09-2016, 05:34 PM
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"Brooks Was Here"

Herbal teas with sedative properties and ZMA have been useful for my sober-somnia. They don't quell the nightmares though, but I've probably earned those.
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Old 03-09-2016, 06:26 PM
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Thomas 11: I do hope that life will continue but, in these troubled times, there is no guarantee of that.

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Old 03-10-2016, 12:10 AM
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Instead of saying "Hope you're having a good day", I should really say (what I really meant to say, but didn't have the time last night to find the words) -

I for one can feel your footprint right now, hopefully long before any of us is no more.

That's what I wanted to express about the value of your posts.
Maybe "Have a good day" has become pretty meaningless, as with "good wishes", "all the best" ect........... hopefully most of the time, well meant though.

xx
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Old 03-10-2016, 02:43 PM
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Originally Posted by wpainterw View Post
Thomas 11: I do hope that life will continue but, in these troubled times, there is no guarantee of that.

W.
I often feel that way as well. But I also believe in MAD regarding international warfare. Mutually Assured Destruction is the only hope that the people with immense power won't destroy everything.
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