Surround me with support please
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Surround me with support please
Really, really reaching out here. I'm terrified. Literally shaking. I fought for a good week of sobriety and failed at the first sign of anything remotely stressful yesterday. Not a full on bender but I just felt like a total failure when I woke this morning. So I sent my psychiatrist a text message at 8am asking him to call when he could. He called right away, literally within seconds of me sending the message. I was worried about sending it because he mentioned in passing that he has children so I figured it was the "out the door for school" chaos moment. But he called. I told him I was scared about my lack of ability to quit drinking and wanted to talk about rehab. I asked him if I could see him today which he said was impossible after looking at his calendar. But he called me about two hours later and said someone had cancelled so he fit me in. So I will go this afternoon and talk about options to find some more intensive help. I just can't do this anymore. I can't. I'm exhausted from the fight. I am so scared about going to rehab. I know some people feel relief and happy but I don't, I feel terrified. Please, please send me good wishes that I can make it through this appointment without lying, without undermining the issue and that I can be fully honest and accept the help I so need. I am scared I will get there and say I was overreacting and don't really need anything. But I need to ask for this. I have to go. I want this to stop. Please, please support me.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Of course we support you. Be honest when you meet your psychiatrist, this is your life you are trying to save.
I think the idea of rehab is a good one. You are struggling to do this alone and every relapse seems to send you further down the path of continued drinking.
If at any point your psychiatrist doesn't think your problem is serious, think hard about what you've been telling him and if your addiction isn't angling for the "You can do this on your own" option, which is the easiest one for continued drinking.
I think the idea of rehab is a good one. You are struggling to do this alone and every relapse seems to send you further down the path of continued drinking.
If at any point your psychiatrist doesn't think your problem is serious, think hard about what you've been telling him and if your addiction isn't angling for the "You can do this on your own" option, which is the easiest one for continued drinking.
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
You're making the right decision. Please don't lie. I got to where you are, too. I had to go. Meraviglioso, it was so hard, but it was what I had to do to save my life. Be brave. It isn't easy but it's the right thing to do and you have to throw yourself into it even though you're afraid. Tell him that you need to go, and then once you're there, do not leave even when it's hard.
I really, really think this is the right thing for you.
And I will tell you that my first ten days in rehab I spent trying to convince people to let me leave. Thankfully people talked me into staying. So I know what you're talking about. I've never been so afraid. Don't give in to the fear. Do what you need to do for yourself. That fear is normal, and fighting through it is part of what will ultimately keep you sober, but you'll need the help.
I really, really think this is the right thing for you.
And I will tell you that my first ten days in rehab I spent trying to convince people to let me leave. Thankfully people talked me into staying. So I know what you're talking about. I've never been so afraid. Don't give in to the fear. Do what you need to do for yourself. That fear is normal, and fighting through it is part of what will ultimately keep you sober, but you'll need the help.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
I'm very glad to hear from you and that you have talked to your psychiatrist.
A suggestion? Before you leave for your appointment, read through your threads here and see everything you've been through and how unhappy drinking has made you.
Then, right before you go in the room, look at a picture of your children.
Rehab is the next right thing.
Sending a big hug...
A suggestion? Before you leave for your appointment, read through your threads here and see everything you've been through and how unhappy drinking has made you.
Then, right before you go in the room, look at a picture of your children.
Rehab is the next right thing.
Sending a big hug...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Thank you everyone. I am a mess. I am so scared, but I am more scared about what will happen if I don't do this. I called my mom. As some of you may recall she did not come to me in a great time of need, I was very angry with her for this. But today I told her that I needed help, wanted help and made her promise that she will come to help take care of my kids while I am gone. The only thing that will give me peace is knowing that my kids will be well cared for.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Originally Posted by doggonecarl 
Of course we support you. Be honest when you meet your psychiatrist, this is your life you are trying to save.
I think the idea of rehab is a good one. You are struggling to do this alone and every relapse seems to send you further down the path of continued drinking.
If at any point your psychiatrist doesn't think your problem is serious, think hard about what you've been telling him and if your addiction isn't angling for the "You can do this on your own" option, which is the easiest one for continued drinking.
I think the idea of rehab is a good one. You are struggling to do this alone and every relapse seems to send you further down the path of continued drinking.
If at any point your psychiatrist doesn't think your problem is serious, think hard about what you've been telling him and if your addiction isn't angling for the "You can do this on your own" option, which is the easiest one for continued drinking.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Mera, I can only speak for myself when I say that I've hoped rehab would be part of your journey. I hope that suitable arrangements can be made as soon as possible so that your new life in sobriety can begin. All the best to you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
I think being scared is normal, even healthy. Rehab is a big commitment and isn't all sunshine and rainbows. So a healthy amount of apprehension is realistic.
Do it. Commit. Give over to the process and let those that know what to do help you. Pack smart....it helps to have things (comfy clothes, pillow, comforter from home etc) so you'll feel more at home. Its a few weeks of your life and will give you a strong foundation to begin recovering. But again, having a very strong plan for when you get out is critical....otherwise you'll get home and have no idea what to do with yourself. I think you are very brave.
Do it. Commit. Give over to the process and let those that know what to do help you. Pack smart....it helps to have things (comfy clothes, pillow, comforter from home etc) so you'll feel more at home. Its a few weeks of your life and will give you a strong foundation to begin recovering. But again, having a very strong plan for when you get out is critical....otherwise you'll get home and have no idea what to do with yourself. I think you are very brave.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
Hi Mera,
So, so happy you're taking this step. Sounds like you now know the level of help you need.
As suggestion, can you bring a device (smartphone, tablet, computer) with the thread from your last relapse, or cut and paste all of your posts from that thread and print them out to take with you? The words you wrote in there were what worried so many of us, and I think would show anyone why you need to make a big step to get the help you need. If you find yourself minimising your experience, or struggling to put it in words, perhaps you could simply take out what you wrote and read it to your Psychiatrist?
Good luck with it, and my thoughts are with you today.
So, so happy you're taking this step. Sounds like you now know the level of help you need.
As suggestion, can you bring a device (smartphone, tablet, computer) with the thread from your last relapse, or cut and paste all of your posts from that thread and print them out to take with you? The words you wrote in there were what worried so many of us, and I think would show anyone why you need to make a big step to get the help you need. If you find yourself minimising your experience, or struggling to put it in words, perhaps you could simply take out what you wrote and read it to your Psychiatrist?
Good luck with it, and my thoughts are with you today.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Imbrace Rehab. When all else fails, take
advantage of doing something, taking
this step to put an end of the insanity
of trying to stop drinking on your own.
You, never have to do anything in life
by yourself. Placing yourself into the
hands of those capable and knowledgable
about addiction to teach you and guide
you through the process of learning a
program of recovery that will help you
live your life without poison.
This addiction has killed a many a folks
as you know. You don't have to be one
of those statistics. You made the first
attempt to reach out for help from your
doctor. That shows me that you are
willing to do what it takes to want to
end this addiction.
My family did an intervention on me
25 yrs ago when I wasn't nor capable
nor willing to get help on my own.
I was scared to death, NO, I was pizzed
when the authorities where called to
come take me to the hospital because
I had already fought off my spouse when
he tried to physically haul me to the car
himself.
A court order was issued and I had to
go get help I desperately needed at that
time in my life.
The first night I spent in the physciatric
ward because of my mental state of wanting
to end my miserable, failure of a wife , mom,
and alcohol.
I saw so many folks shuffling across the
floor, hugging the wall, mumbling to
themselves and I emmediately thought
to myself, I am not that far gone.
I passed all their mental test and come
to find out all I had was an addiction to
alcohol and that I had no control over it.
I was absolutely powerless over it.
I left my 2 little ones into the hands
of family members even tho I was
worried, because I never liked bothering
folks when it came to taking care of my
own kids.
However, I had to accept the fact
that my family sought help for me
and had to let family care for them
when I was not in any shape to care
for them myself at that time.
This next 28 days I had to concentrate
on listening, absorbing, learning about
my addiction and its affects on me and
those around me.
2 weeks in and they told me that I
wasn't ready to go back home into
the same inviroment and wanted to
send me to a halfway house further
away from my little family.
Emmediately, I begged to stay at that
rehab and would do whatever I needed
to do, just don't send me further away
from my family and of course they agreed.
28 day sober wasn't even a drop in the
bucket, yet when I was released I carried
on with my recovery program with a 6 week
aftercare program continueing to learn
more ways to live life on lifes terms without
alcohol.
I did whatever I could do and took many
helpful suggestions to guide me day by
day to remain sober. Over the yrs I began
grow and mature in recovery and most
of all I have remained sober for 25 yrs
being responsible for my own recovery
passing all that has been taught to me
over the yrs to many still suffering with
addiction.
So many passed on their own hope
to me that if they could and would
remain sober incorporating a program
of recovery taught to them to remain
sober for a many one days at a time
themselves to achieve health, happiness
and honesty in their own lives, then
so could and would I. And I have.
You can too.
Let other's in recovery carry you
till you are strong enough to carry
on yourself and never feel ashamed
or guilty for this gift of help waiting
for you.
advantage of doing something, taking
this step to put an end of the insanity
of trying to stop drinking on your own.
You, never have to do anything in life
by yourself. Placing yourself into the
hands of those capable and knowledgable
about addiction to teach you and guide
you through the process of learning a
program of recovery that will help you
live your life without poison.
This addiction has killed a many a folks
as you know. You don't have to be one
of those statistics. You made the first
attempt to reach out for help from your
doctor. That shows me that you are
willing to do what it takes to want to
end this addiction.
My family did an intervention on me
25 yrs ago when I wasn't nor capable
nor willing to get help on my own.
I was scared to death, NO, I was pizzed
when the authorities where called to
come take me to the hospital because
I had already fought off my spouse when
he tried to physically haul me to the car
himself.
A court order was issued and I had to
go get help I desperately needed at that
time in my life.
The first night I spent in the physciatric
ward because of my mental state of wanting
to end my miserable, failure of a wife , mom,
and alcohol.
I saw so many folks shuffling across the
floor, hugging the wall, mumbling to
themselves and I emmediately thought
to myself, I am not that far gone.
I passed all their mental test and come
to find out all I had was an addiction to
alcohol and that I had no control over it.
I was absolutely powerless over it.
I left my 2 little ones into the hands
of family members even tho I was
worried, because I never liked bothering
folks when it came to taking care of my
own kids.
However, I had to accept the fact
that my family sought help for me
and had to let family care for them
when I was not in any shape to care
for them myself at that time.
This next 28 days I had to concentrate
on listening, absorbing, learning about
my addiction and its affects on me and
those around me.
2 weeks in and they told me that I
wasn't ready to go back home into
the same inviroment and wanted to
send me to a halfway house further
away from my little family.
Emmediately, I begged to stay at that
rehab and would do whatever I needed
to do, just don't send me further away
from my family and of course they agreed.
28 day sober wasn't even a drop in the
bucket, yet when I was released I carried
on with my recovery program with a 6 week
aftercare program continueing to learn
more ways to live life on lifes terms without
alcohol.
I did whatever I could do and took many
helpful suggestions to guide me day by
day to remain sober. Over the yrs I began
grow and mature in recovery and most
of all I have remained sober for 25 yrs
being responsible for my own recovery
passing all that has been taught to me
over the yrs to many still suffering with
addiction.
So many passed on their own hope
to me that if they could and would
remain sober incorporating a program
of recovery taught to them to remain
sober for a many one days at a time
themselves to achieve health, happiness
and honesty in their own lives, then
so could and would I. And I have.
You can too.
Let other's in recovery carry you
till you are strong enough to carry
on yourself and never feel ashamed
or guilty for this gift of help waiting
for you.
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,054
Mera- this is wonderful news. I agree with the others, maybe print off your post above. Hand it over to your Dr. if you can't find the words, but please fulfill your decision to go to rehab. 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas
Posts: 1,736
I came on here this a.m. to specifically see if I could find out how you're doing. What a relief to find this post. As others have said you are absolutely doing the right thing. I support you a million percent.
Love you, friend.
Love you, friend.
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