Shazz

My husband has been in out of recovery for most of his life. He is an alcoholic and drug addict. Since I've known him I've never seen him drink or take drugs until now I believe.
He is itching, nodding out.his pupils are,pinned as well as being deceptive about finances.
I want to help but I don't know how to approach the situation with him. Please please please help!

zoso77

Shazz...

I see this is only your third post, so Welcome to the Board. Let's cut to the chase.

One of the hardest lesson the loved ones of addict have to learn (often the hard way) is there is really no way we can help the addict. In your AH's case, by your own admission, he's been drinking and drugging for most of his life, and it sounds like he's active again.

The only thing you can do is protect yourself. I would assume from this point forward that whatever comes out of his mouth is BS. I would also assume he's tapping your shared financial resources to fuel his happen. Based on these two things alone, you have a decision waiting to be made. We can't make that for you, but we can help get you to a place where you listen to your own moral compass such that you make the best decisions you can for yourself.

Read as many of the posts here as you can. The more you know, the more likely you'll make better decisions.

Keep us posted, and again, Welcome to the Board.

glitterdeva

Sounds like he is using again - pinned pupils = opiates You cannot help him, no matter how much you really want to. My AH is a heroin addict and for the past 5 years I have been "helping" and "saving" him. Addict not in recovery doesn't want to be saved, but they sure do like the saving process I have send him to rehabs, detoxes, found him jobs, took him to meetings, fought and insisted he goes, left him alone, bought him things, loved him, cared for him, begged, pleaded, spied, provided the best treatment available with the insurance that I pay for. Nothing I have done helped, only made it worse. The question is - what are you going to do to make yourself safe and in peace? It's a crazy train - addiction

faithnlove13

What I have learned with my husbands meth addiction was no matter how hard I tried or no matter what I did pr said to try and get him to stop he wasnt going to.It just made matters worst.They will stop when they are ready. Addiction is hard especially for us that have to go through it because we love them so much and hate seeing them not themselves or hurting.

maia1234

I am sorry for what you are going through.
Addiction is a family disease.
It is time for you to seek out help and support.
Hugs my friend!!

CodeJob

Hello Shazz,

I found several articles on this site very helpful. I am linking one.

Addiction, Lies and Relationships

Secondly, I preferred Melody Beattie's writing and Codependent No More changed how I dealt with the chaos in my life.

Peace,