ZenLifter

Anyone else discover, in sobriety, that they are a complete control freak? For me this tendency seems to manifest mostly at work, trying to control what little things I can....because in the end it's not just about being powerless over drink, is it? We are all powerless over many many things, and this realization can be frightening. But in the end this obsession to control things is just another path to misery, and maybe drinking again. Just a little share for this morning . Thoughts? Experiences?

wheat

One of the reasons I drank was to get to place where I didn't need to control everything or everyone. This, of course, was only a short lived effect that soon turned back into the need to get my way again pretty quickly. In sobriety, I'm just able to talk my self down from my high horse before it reaches a gallop. I think years of self loathing over my addictions led me to try to control anything else I could.

ChloeRose63

Oh, yes, that was what was killing me the most! Having to control everything and to make everything perfect. The more I drank, the more I became obsessed with having things "just so". It drove me into a breakdown. I still have to remind myself that it is OK to just let it go and let things just be what they are. So hard when you have OCD tendencies.

ScottFromWI

Very much so, yes. It's one of the major things I deal with. In the limited amount of therapy I've done, the counselors I've worked with also indicate that control issues are very common with addicts.

Acceptance goes a long way, well outside of alcoholism.