Not sure what to do now
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 1
Not sure what to do now
Hi, I'm new to this and I'm hoping for some advice from people who are in or have been in my position.
My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years and we have a 19 month old son.
His drug abuse started from a young age and he has been in rehab twice. When we met he was still using but he stopped a week before our son was born. To my knowledge he has not used since however he has every vitamin you can think of and has over the counter sleeping tablets (although he says he doesn't take them that often) he has now bought some prescription only drugs off the Internet (modafinil.) to keep him alert at work. I am a health professional and have tried to talk to him about the side effects etc. But he is very defensive and dismissive. I know the signs and that this could potentially turn bad but he says I'm always getting on at him..........I love him so dearly he is my soul mate. I can't bear the thought of our family being torn apart but I have to protect our son and myself........ What do I do?.....
My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years and we have a 19 month old son.
His drug abuse started from a young age and he has been in rehab twice. When we met he was still using but he stopped a week before our son was born. To my knowledge he has not used since however he has every vitamin you can think of and has over the counter sleeping tablets (although he says he doesn't take them that often) he has now bought some prescription only drugs off the Internet (modafinil.) to keep him alert at work. I am a health professional and have tried to talk to him about the side effects etc. But he is very defensive and dismissive. I know the signs and that this could potentially turn bad but he says I'm always getting on at him..........I love him so dearly he is my soul mate. I can't bear the thought of our family being torn apart but I have to protect our son and myself........ What do I do?.....
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hello Luckycatcharlie, Welcome to SR!
I'm sad to say that drug addiction often gets far worse before it ever gets better. There are many, many members here who have been in your same position in life.
I wish so very much that I could tell you that we have some magic words to say or actions to take that will make your boyfriend realize just how much damage he is doing to himself and to his relationships. The sad truth is that we don't. Your boyfriend can be encouraged to do the next right thing, but there is no amount of begging, pleading, or tears, or even ultimatums that will get him to 'see the light.'
His recovery will ultimately have to come from within. He will have to want sobriety more than anything else.
You are correct in that the priority is your son's safety and well-being as well as your own. When you have time, you may want to check out our "Friends and Family of Substance Abusers" forum. You will find many wonderful and supportive people who know exactly what you are feeling.
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Please take good care, and come back here as often as you need. We are always open!
I'm sad to say that drug addiction often gets far worse before it ever gets better. There are many, many members here who have been in your same position in life.
I wish so very much that I could tell you that we have some magic words to say or actions to take that will make your boyfriend realize just how much damage he is doing to himself and to his relationships. The sad truth is that we don't. Your boyfriend can be encouraged to do the next right thing, but there is no amount of begging, pleading, or tears, or even ultimatums that will get him to 'see the light.'
His recovery will ultimately have to come from within. He will have to want sobriety more than anything else.
You are correct in that the priority is your son's safety and well-being as well as your own. When you have time, you may want to check out our "Friends and Family of Substance Abusers" forum. You will find many wonderful and supportive people who know exactly what you are feeling.
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Please take good care, and come back here as often as you need. We are always open!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 47
My ex-husband had a history of chronic relapse
he also used marijuana during the periods where he claimed
to be clean and sober.
Mt first sponsor called the health food store
The legal get high store.
When my ex-husband relapsed it was an unstable unsafe situation.
He was volatile and violent.
I then relapsed because I couldn't cope
with all the emotional and financial wreckage of a divorce.
I know that another relapse for me is literally a death sentence
and total incomprehensible demoralization.
The first substance I used was valerian and kava kava
from the health food store.
From there it went straight to narcotic pharmaceuticals and alcohol.
All mind altering substances lead back to a relapse if they are used improperly
and probably should not be used at all.
Beware of some heath food store products.
I am in long term recovery and have had 1 relapse in since 1995.
Anything more than one relapse is chronic relapse.
Individuals with a history of chronic relapse are usually
not a good candidate for a healthy relationship.
You need to protect your sobriety. your serenity and your safety.
Take care and God bless.
he also used marijuana during the periods where he claimed
to be clean and sober.
Mt first sponsor called the health food store
The legal get high store.
When my ex-husband relapsed it was an unstable unsafe situation.
He was volatile and violent.
I then relapsed because I couldn't cope
with all the emotional and financial wreckage of a divorce.
I know that another relapse for me is literally a death sentence
and total incomprehensible demoralization.
The first substance I used was valerian and kava kava
from the health food store.
From there it went straight to narcotic pharmaceuticals and alcohol.
All mind altering substances lead back to a relapse if they are used improperly
and probably should not be used at all.
Beware of some heath food store products.
I am in long term recovery and have had 1 relapse in since 1995.
Anything more than one relapse is chronic relapse.
Individuals with a history of chronic relapse are usually
not a good candidate for a healthy relationship.
You need to protect your sobriety. your serenity and your safety.
Take care and God bless.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 574
Modafinil is the new 'smart' drug that so many people in the entertainment industry are taking. It is better than Adderall.
Just another drug, taken to replace the addiction with a new substance.
If it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck ...
Just look at Kanye's behavior since he began. He's a self admitted drug addict, though he denies being an addict now, even while he is using this medication.
Eventually, you become numb to all of the promises, no matter how much you love this man. It is common to be addicted to our addict. They need to be rescued ... constantly ... and as codependents, we love saving others before saving ourselves.
Think of what you are showing and teaching your son.
Stand strong and let this man secure his own sobriety.
It's not easy, but please read as many stories as you can.
The stickies at the top of this forum.
Find a meeting in your area: Alanon, Naranon, CoDA
Read or listen to the book: Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
I wish you all good things while you maneuver this path.
Hugs Luckycatcharlie,
Joie
Just another drug, taken to replace the addiction with a new substance.
If it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck ...
Just look at Kanye's behavior since he began. He's a self admitted drug addict, though he denies being an addict now, even while he is using this medication.
Eventually, you become numb to all of the promises, no matter how much you love this man. It is common to be addicted to our addict. They need to be rescued ... constantly ... and as codependents, we love saving others before saving ourselves.
Think of what you are showing and teaching your son.
Stand strong and let this man secure his own sobriety.
It's not easy, but please read as many stories as you can.
The stickies at the top of this forum.
Find a meeting in your area: Alanon, Naranon, CoDA
Read or listen to the book: Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
I wish you all good things while you maneuver this path.
Hugs Luckycatcharlie,
Joie
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 47
When I was in a relapse I was using and abusing such a high dosage of Dr. prescribed Lexapro
that Forest Pharmaceuticals was giving it to me free.
Lexapro is an anti-anxiety, anti-depressant medication and supposedly non addictive.
Lexapro enabled me to take more of the other Dr. prescribed narcotics
such as Benzos and Opiates.
Any drug can be abused by an addict.
People are addicted to all kinds of things, shopping for example.
Any drug or mind altering substance is potentially dangerous
to the recovering alcoholic/addict.
that Forest Pharmaceuticals was giving it to me free.
Lexapro is an anti-anxiety, anti-depressant medication and supposedly non addictive.
Lexapro enabled me to take more of the other Dr. prescribed narcotics
such as Benzos and Opiates.
Any drug can be abused by an addict.
People are addicted to all kinds of things, shopping for example.
Any drug or mind altering substance is potentially dangerous
to the recovering alcoholic/addict.
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