jada1981

This may be a bit silly, but I'm interested to hear your social media relationships (or lack thereof) with your XA and his/her family. As I'm in the beginning stages of getting ready to separate, I'm wondering if I should entirely unfriend him to totally remove him from my life. Or should I stay friends (in the event he doesn't unfriend me) to keep tabs on his drinking behaviors. Does anyone here collaboratively post pictures of the kids with their XA (i.e., you post a photo of your kid and you "tag" him).

Also, what about XA's family? I don't know if I really have any desire to keep in touch with any of STBXAH's family. They live across the country and especially his mother, whom I blame for a lot of his issues and who also happened to steal prescription drugs from my nightstand when she was visiting. (Crazy, huh?) I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree with that one.

Liveitwell

Sickness breeds sickness and blood is thicker than water, even in the face of awful evidence. Do not keep tabs on him....and don't bother staying friends with his family, esp his mother. She will toss you to the curb - sounds like she lives in denial land too-ask me how I know let him have his sick momma-sounds like they deserve each other two peas in a pod....geez, every time someone else posts about their alcoholic husband/partner and his messed up sick mother I start humming...."I can't see me loving nobody but you....for all my life.....so happy together....". Tangent , I know, but for real!

healthyagain

My ex is blocked on all social media.

I have never been in a good relationship with his family. Unfortunately, I've never even been able to establish a good connection with them because they treated us really bad. Considering that my ex has a history, it is no wonder.

I was tempted to message his bro on Facebook and tell him what is going on. My ex isolated us from everybody and has not even told his family about divorce yet. Which I find very creepy and which makes me staaay away.

However, I am not going to inform anybody about anything. I do not even feel obliged.

jada1981

I have zero relationship with her and couldn't care less about her. I initially blocked her after finding that she stole from me, but only unblocked her to avoid putting AH in a weird position.

AH's entire family lives across the country and he is not close to any of them at all.

jada1981

What about photos with your X? Did you just leave them up? I've never been through a breakup before, so I'm facing these weird questions for the first time!

wanttobehealthy

My xAH's sister pretended to be friendly (never was when we were married) when we were splitting up... I finally had to block her and pretty much every member of his extended family bc they were using social media to monitor what I did, who my friends were and where I was with my kids... xAH made one too many references to knowing what I was doing and where I was and when (he's been blocked forever so I knew he wasn't seeing the info) and I realized that his stalker ish family was being insane...

So my feeling personally is that with an addict their family is usually pretty enmeshed and sympathetic to them and that leads to weird stalker ish behavior of wanting to still stay connected to you even as you're trying to be disconnected from them.

That was just my experience....

Liveitwell

^ everything WTBH said

wanttobehealthy

Surprise surprise-- more similarities lol!

wanttobehealthy

I do have pics that he is in still someplace on social media bc my kids as babies are in them too so it is more important to me to preserve the pics of the kids in those images than to delete him....

healthyagain

As for the pics, I just changed the settings to private of all the albums. Strange thing, but pics of him really do not trigger me that much. I am more sickened to what I did to other people, my family and friends by picking him. It is worse for me when I see my family photos now.

Liveitwell

^ me too. I used to cry when I saw family pictures. Now I cringe.

firebolt

Ugg me too - all they show me is that XABF is either drunk or white knuckling in every single one, and I have a forced half smile in every single one.

I am making a point lately of talking and having lots of new pictures taken. Seriously...I am glowing sometimes Amazing what having a serious amount of stress out of your life can do.

Anywho - I deleted a lot of the pics of X and I on social media - we didn't have kids...and there are a few that I dont want to get rid of. But I don't look at them often, and he IS a part of my past - and there were SOME good times. I think we feel like we want to completely delete them, but without him, i would have arrived here in SR much, much later than I did

Hangnbyathread

If I had any social media, I'd remove anything I could concerning my ex, including pictures, and co shared friends.

Or just not have any social media so that isn't a problem to be faced with.

hopeful4

I have blocked my XAH on my FB, it was a good move. His family I am still friends with, but I hid them from my timeline so they don't pop up on my timeline. I would not hesitate to unfriend them if there were an issue.

I feel like blocking my X has been good for me, and I did it for myself, not to be vindictive. I also have blocked his wife that he just married.