back again, advice/support needed
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Yorkshire, UK
Posts: 348
back again, advice/support needed
Hi All,
Well I suppose I am not a newcomer being as I joined the site all the way back in 2011, it's now 5 years later and I haven't learnt a thing so I suppose I am newly aware I'm a idiot.
I am drinking still, I NEED to stop! I have noticed more and more over the last year how alcohol is affecting my brain, I am becoming less intelligent, my mind is no way near as quick as it used to be. It's affecting my work and my studies, I seem to be completely incapable of retaining new information.
So, this is a good, let's just quit right? I tried the whole tapering thing a month or so back, resulting in some odd side affects: super vivid dreams, muscle spasms and of course the drenching sweats. I managed a week of taper and 2 days sober...
Once again proving that I can't do it by myself and so I am here for advice/moral support.
There is a local (ish) alcohol services team I could use but I am embarrassed/guilty about it. I went to them some 3 years ago and successfully quit for 5/6 weeks but then I started drinking again, cancelled appointments and then finally just stopped going without cancelling and so I am worried about going back to them and saying I want to try again. I am worried they will think me a time waster/lost cause (I suppose I am).
I am not a people person, I get very nervous in awkward situations and so it's putting me off, to the point where I think I'll just try tapering again. And then I think that's exactly what I would think if I didn't intend to get sober.
There's a local Turning Point near to me too but I think it's just for drug misuse but I thought I could perhaps call them instead of going to the one I used last time... or maybe I should just bite the bullet and call the alcohol services.
I don't know..
Thanks for listening/reading.
AoS
Well I suppose I am not a newcomer being as I joined the site all the way back in 2011, it's now 5 years later and I haven't learnt a thing so I suppose I am newly aware I'm a idiot.
I am drinking still, I NEED to stop! I have noticed more and more over the last year how alcohol is affecting my brain, I am becoming less intelligent, my mind is no way near as quick as it used to be. It's affecting my work and my studies, I seem to be completely incapable of retaining new information.
So, this is a good, let's just quit right? I tried the whole tapering thing a month or so back, resulting in some odd side affects: super vivid dreams, muscle spasms and of course the drenching sweats. I managed a week of taper and 2 days sober...
Once again proving that I can't do it by myself and so I am here for advice/moral support.
There is a local (ish) alcohol services team I could use but I am embarrassed/guilty about it. I went to them some 3 years ago and successfully quit for 5/6 weeks but then I started drinking again, cancelled appointments and then finally just stopped going without cancelling and so I am worried about going back to them and saying I want to try again. I am worried they will think me a time waster/lost cause (I suppose I am).
I am not a people person, I get very nervous in awkward situations and so it's putting me off, to the point where I think I'll just try tapering again. And then I think that's exactly what I would think if I didn't intend to get sober.
There's a local Turning Point near to me too but I think it's just for drug misuse but I thought I could perhaps call them instead of going to the one I used last time... or maybe I should just bite the bullet and call the alcohol services.
I don't know..
Thanks for listening/reading.
AoS
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: San Diego
Posts: 94
well you're observant which is a good thing, you thinking it's hopeless is not true, the reason you think it's hopeless is simply because your brain is extremely addicted to alcohol. This is what I became aware of, I would go months, and still relapse, eventually I understood that my brain was utterly addicted to booze at its core, like the alcohol literally changed the parts of the brain's structure over the years.
So that's why they say you will suffer from PAWS for atleast 2 years, give it 1-2 years of sobriety and your brain will slowly revert to its former self. But all through out that time, you will suffer cravings and paws symptoms.
So that's why they say you will suffer from PAWS for atleast 2 years, give it 1-2 years of sobriety and your brain will slowly revert to its former self. But all through out that time, you will suffer cravings and paws symptoms.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Washington
Posts: 75
There is absolutely no need to feel embarrassed or guilty about using alcohol services. They're professionals who know their clientele and, let's face it, there are a lot of false starts and cancellations in that field. The only important thing is a desire to quit drinking and it's literally their job to help you. So don't worry about that! You could be one of the success stories that makes their job worthwhile.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Welcome back AofS
I think regardless of what method or kind of support you go for you need to want to quit....and more than that you need to be prepared to do whatever it takes to stay quit.
Early recovery is rough and IMO there's no real way around that...we have to be prepared for those odd side effects, the super vivid dreams, muscle the spasms and the sweats.
Its the price we pay.,..but those things don't last forever and support makes it a little easier.
I think a plan is essential. I recommend you look this link over - there's some really useful stuff in there, & some things to think about...and it won't preclude you doing any other method
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
D
I think regardless of what method or kind of support you go for you need to want to quit....and more than that you need to be prepared to do whatever it takes to stay quit.
Early recovery is rough and IMO there's no real way around that...we have to be prepared for those odd side effects, the super vivid dreams, muscle the spasms and the sweats.
Its the price we pay.,..but those things don't last forever and support makes it a little easier.
I think a plan is essential. I recommend you look this link over - there's some really useful stuff in there, & some things to think about...and it won't preclude you doing any other method
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
D
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
So that's why they say you will suffer from PAWS for atleast 2 years
Not every body gets PAWS... and those who do may have it for periods of up to 2 years.
My own experience was a much shorter duration.
PAWS | Digital Dharma
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
dont let fear of what could happen getting help keep you from getting help.
honestly, have ya ever embarrased yerself while drunk in front of strangers?
theres absolutely no embarrassment/guilt in getting help. ive seen people come back to AA after drinking again feeling that way, yet everyone was dam glad they made it back.
you may want to use the fear of what will happen if ya dont get help motivate ya to get help.
honestly, have ya ever embarrased yerself while drunk in front of strangers?
theres absolutely no embarrassment/guilt in getting help. ive seen people come back to AA after drinking again feeling that way, yet everyone was dam glad they made it back.
you may want to use the fear of what will happen if ya dont get help motivate ya to get help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Yorkshire, UK
Posts: 348
Hi all,
Just a little update, went to see turning point yesterday, which turns out to have merged with the alcohol team I went to last time. So I was honest and explained I had tried before and failed. Guy was super nice and understood as you suggested he would.
Anyway, back there tonight to go through detox plan with them
AoS
Just a little update, went to see turning point yesterday, which turns out to have merged with the alcohol team I went to last time. So I was honest and explained I had tried before and failed. Guy was super nice and understood as you suggested he would.
Anyway, back there tonight to go through detox plan with them
AoS
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,361
I've been on and off (drugs) for about a decade.
Finally I got tired of it.
Got a sobriety plan, stuck with the program and now I don't drink, do drugs and even quit sigs.
Make a plan and stick with it.
Trust this community, it's philosophy and it's literature.
Surrender and things will work out.
Finally I got tired of it.
Got a sobriety plan, stuck with the program and now I don't drink, do drugs and even quit sigs.
Make a plan and stick with it.
Trust this community, it's philosophy and it's literature.
Surrender and things will work out.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Yorkshire, UK
Posts: 348
Hi all
Well my appointment was double booked, which sucks, so I now have a new appointment for next Thursday.
What's more annoying is the lady who was double booked with me is a work colleague who was taking a family member and we had actually discussed the fact we were going at the same time, both of us assuming there was more than one person.
Anyway, no point getting annoyed by it. I'll go next week
AoS
Well my appointment was double booked, which sucks, so I now have a new appointment for next Thursday.
What's more annoying is the lady who was double booked with me is a work colleague who was taking a family member and we had actually discussed the fact we were going at the same time, both of us assuming there was more than one person.
Anyway, no point getting annoyed by it. I'll go next week
AoS
Brother of the Wolf
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Walking With Giants
Posts: 436
Do you have a plan for staying safe between now and next Thursday? I know that every time I tried to taper by myself, I would end up going backwards. I also have had the mentality that since I was seeing a counselor in a few days, I might as well just go on a tear until then.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Yorkshire, UK
Posts: 348
Originally Posted by SweatyHands 
Do you have a plan for staying safe between now and next Thursday? I know that every time I tried to taper by myself, I would end up going backwards. I also have had the mentality that since I was seeing a counselor in a few days, I might as well just go on a tear until then.
I am not entirely sure how quickly to do it and that indecision led me to not doing it at all for a few of the days.
The plan now as far as i have one, I started again last night with one less than my usual, tonight I was planning to do two less, then 3 and so on. Meaning that Thursday next week for my appointment would be the first day that I would not drink at all.
It feels a bit like its not enough, tapering does feel a bit like a cop out and I keep thinking if I'm stopping then I should just quit. Then I remember it's not a very safe idea and my AV pipes up at that.....
Its a plan though.
AoS
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I got this link from Turning Point
They may be able to help you with any queries you have with your taper/detox?
D
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For free, professional advice and treatment planning from experts,
call Addiction Advisor on 0845 867 9515 now.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Yorkshire, UK
Posts: 348
Hi all,
Well two things happened this week and so I thought I would update my thread.
1. I went to see the the alcohol team.
Honestly this really didn't go so well, mostly it was filling in paperwork but I guess that's unavoidable. But the issue I had is it felt like an exercise rather than actually useful.
He asked me how much I had to drink to which I answered truthfully and he replied with "is that it" as though I somehow didn't need to be there. Though perhaps that was just my interpretation of his tone.
We then went on to fill in a well-being questionaire which he told me was the measure of whether they were helping me as I would fill out further surveys throughout my recovery.
Which he told me may be difficult in my case because I scored rather high on the scale. Maybe my answers were a little optimistic but I'm English, I was brought up to answer "I am good thanks" whenever I was asked if I am okay :p*
Anyway the thing that kind of ended it was that he said there wasn't a community detox available until next month.
I left feeling annoyed and in two minds, a month is too long to wait but also a month in which I can drink because you know it's not my fault I can't do it sooner...
I drank Thursday night. Friday morning I woke up and ordered Rational Recovery.
2. Rational recovery arrived Saturday.
I drank Friday and Saturday.
Yesterday I bought my usual and started drinking early, I had opened my second beer when I decided to get a bath. I like to read in the bath so beer in hand I picked up RR (irony).
I finished my second beer in the bath while reading the first few chapters, I plonked the empty glass down and resolved that that was it, I am never drinking again.
I ended the day sober, wasn't that bad, didn't do my usual childish thing of throwing an internal tantrum.
Last night wasnt that bad either, took me ages to fall to sleep (mostly due to the neighbors bloody TV) I had the sweats I expected, I kept waking up with the feeling I was going to pee and soil myself at the same time (sorry bit TMI) I didn't, overall i slept some.
Today I feel good .
AoS*
Well two things happened this week and so I thought I would update my thread.
1. I went to see the the alcohol team.
Honestly this really didn't go so well, mostly it was filling in paperwork but I guess that's unavoidable. But the issue I had is it felt like an exercise rather than actually useful.
He asked me how much I had to drink to which I answered truthfully and he replied with "is that it" as though I somehow didn't need to be there. Though perhaps that was just my interpretation of his tone.
We then went on to fill in a well-being questionaire which he told me was the measure of whether they were helping me as I would fill out further surveys throughout my recovery.
Which he told me may be difficult in my case because I scored rather high on the scale. Maybe my answers were a little optimistic but I'm English, I was brought up to answer "I am good thanks" whenever I was asked if I am okay :p*
Anyway the thing that kind of ended it was that he said there wasn't a community detox available until next month.
I left feeling annoyed and in two minds, a month is too long to wait but also a month in which I can drink because you know it's not my fault I can't do it sooner...
I drank Thursday night. Friday morning I woke up and ordered Rational Recovery.
2. Rational recovery arrived Saturday.
I drank Friday and Saturday.
Yesterday I bought my usual and started drinking early, I had opened my second beer when I decided to get a bath. I like to read in the bath so beer in hand I picked up RR (irony).
I finished my second beer in the bath while reading the first few chapters, I plonked the empty glass down and resolved that that was it, I am never drinking again.
I ended the day sober, wasn't that bad, didn't do my usual childish thing of throwing an internal tantrum.
Last night wasnt that bad either, took me ages to fall to sleep (mostly due to the neighbors bloody TV) I had the sweats I expected, I kept waking up with the feeling I was going to pee and soil myself at the same time (sorry bit TMI) I didn't, overall i slept some.
Today I feel good .
AoS*
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