ProudPenguin

Been sober for a month and 2 days . Yesterday relapsed , feel like **** today . Not looking for excuses, happened what happened. I was doing so well and to be honest the 12 step program that I started with my sponsor was the worst thing to do . I am still happy to go to the meetings and just listen but I would never ever try doing steps again . I couldn't go past first step because I have no God to believe in ... I told this woman such a personal and embarrassing things about my life and it went nowhere. I absolutely without slightest doubt admit that I'm an alcoholic, I can't drink and I know it , I am powerless over alcohol but there is no way I will admit that I'm powerless over my life ! And no I don't have God to believe in and I'm fine with that . I don't want any God in my head telling me something, I myself telling me all these things and making decisions not some god in my head . I will not admit that my life is unmanageable and only God can keep me sober . And yeah I know many of you would say to me that I'm in denial and that I probably still don't understand it . Trust me I do and I can scream on top of my lungs that I am an alcoholic but no God can keep me sober just me and nobody else . I totally understand people who really had messed up lives , who really suffered a lot and even lost everything in their lives, probably they are at this point when they looking for God and that higher power , but I know it's totally not for me . I really wanted to do the steps and I truly believed it would help me more to keep me sober , but looks like in there
you can't have any opinions any different understanding or anything. I don't know how I feel about AA anymore and this force feeding God AA book . Sorry for the rant but I needed to vent . Also if someone have any recommendations maybe some of you using any non 12 step programs

least

I got sober with the help of weekly sessions with an addiction counselor and daily visits to SR. It's been keeping me sober over six years now.

ManInTheArena

Hi ProudPenguin,

Many of us here have been down the relapse hole - it does suck, but the key is to get back on track as quick as possible. Starting over is never easy, but it has to be done!

There is a section in the SR Forum called Secular Recovery. You might want to check that out.

Good luck!

MITA

Anna

Hi, this is our list of program ideas. Please remember this forum is not for debating recovery programs:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Carlotta

Ok so you drank and you feel like crap and like many people you either don't believe in a higher power or you feel that yours has probably better things to do than micromanaging your life.
No need to project onto the AA program the anger you probably feel at yourself for relapsing. That won't help you get sober. If nothing else, anger is often a fuel for active addiction.
If AA is not a good fit for you there are many alternatives.

Why not instead formulate a new plan?
Check out the secular section for some non 12 steps alternatives:
Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

and also the secular 12 step recovery section
Secular 12 Step Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

I also hope you will join us on the 24 hours recovery connections where we commit not to drink or drug for that day. It's a fun supportive way to hold ourselves accountable
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5820076

Make sure you drink a lot of water today and don't beat too hard on yourself. You can do it!

zlhzlh

Hey,I hear your rant!! I am with you on the non religion thing. I am doing this independently, with the help of SR, the love of a good man and a lot of will power. Get back on your horse and start again. Good Luck , keep strong, and try and eliminate any triggers ....Oh and get a plan!! ( I need one too) but a plan is good

ProudPenguin

Thank you very much ! Amazing to hear that there is a way without the famous 12 steps

ru12

There are lots of ways to quit drinking. If AA isn't your thing try something else. But one thing you are going to have to do is to stop putting alcohol into your mouth and swallowing. I found that reading and posting here helped me keep sobriety front and center in my mind. I hope you find your way out of the alcohol nightmare.

saoutchik

Hi ProudPenguin (as am I - see avatar)

I just saw a similar comment in another thread, it was pointed out there is also something called SMART recovery which does not involve praying or higher powers. I think it depends on your location on having a group near enough to attend - it might be worth a Google search

Also it doesn't invalidate the whole 12 steps thing - I don't be i've in God either but mostly the steps are good practise. I use my grandaughters as my higher power, it may help a tiny bit

Congratulations on reaching month and 2 days - with a few tweaks to your recovery plan you stand a very good chance of success

SoberLife90

AA is a wonderful program if you have enough Honesty, Openmindedness, and Willingness. Step 2 is just believing that something greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. I knew that I could not stop drinking on my own, but with the help of the people around me(power greater than myself) I could.

Keep it simple. People stay sober by working the AA program.

ProudPenguin

I googled smart recovery and there actually is one not far from where I live so I will give it a go . Thank you

IvanMike

Been practicing the 12 steps in NA as an atheist for a few pots of coffee now. The issues were all in my mind.

tomsteve

imo, after reading that rant youve either been given misinformation of the program that has led to a misunderstaning or ya dont understand what youve read.

stay or leave. i dont care what ya do as long as it helps ya get and stay sober and enjoy a life free from embarrasment from the past and ya get peace and serenity ya deserve.

Ariesagain

It's up to each of us to figure out what will work to keep us sober and I don't believe that one size fits all. Personally, I do best with a more scientific, medical approach and by reading every book I can on this subject, not just The Book. But it works for some people, so hey, try everything, right?

You may do very well with Smart Recovery. I hope it's your answer.

PennyLane76

I went to a SMART meeting and really liked it. I couldn't continue them due to my work schedule

Thanks for the reminder though, I'm going to find the SMART workbook and dig into it again.

Delizadee

I don't know why, but this made me laugh out loud.

I bucked the whole AA thing for a long time due to similar reasons.
When I finally hit my rock bottom and scraped along the way for a looong time, I realized that there was going to be no easy answer for me. The short answer is don't drink. The long answer for me is that it took a lot of different approaches to it before I could get a firmer grip on sobriety. I had to learn to be open-minded to everything. AA in and of itself did not do it all for me. I had to go to detox, AA get a sponsor, work with my addictions counsellor, planning on working with a therapist, I have been sticking close to SR and I have sober apps on my phone, as well as a recovery plan.

I had to commit everything to it. I hope you find the right fit for you. Take what you can from where you can. Good luck

Carlotta

Not to sound like an old grinch but if you hung out with us on SR a bit more you would definitely know.
There are many people here who do a wide variety of things (including the 12 steps) and many lively discussions as well as some amazing support.

Read around SR, get involved, post before you drink
Another good thing to do to is to join the class of February where you will get (and give) support from your peers who quit at the same time and are going through roughly the same stuff
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-5-a-11.html

And definitely go check that SMART meeting out. It s really useful to get some F2F support too and have some local people you can contact if you are struggling.

Jsbodhi

AA is definitely not for me either.
I'm going to try smart recovery.
SR weekender thread is great too, stop in!
Xoxo
I walk a lot, eat healthy, exercise, do hobbies and pretty much do what dee and soberwolf say haha
Works for me!

Dee74

I'm not in AA but I know it's saved a lot of my friends lives.
It sounds to me like this is more a sponsor problem than an AA one.

As people have said tho, there;'s many ways up the mountain.. find your way.

in the end the buck stops with us I think - if we pour alcohol down our throat again we have to take responsibility for that and toughen up our recovery plan accordingly

D

Delizadee

The one thing I got through AA that I really needed off the hop was support and understanding from people who have been down that dark alley. I needed that real life support and connection that I had been denying myself through the isolation of my addiction. Getting out and seeing other people successful and happy in their sobriety really did help give me the strength, confidence and resolve to find my own right path to a happy and healthy life. I believe there really is strength in numbers. And sometimes, we can't believe our own heads. That's where SR, AA, sponsors and counsellors really help with the "talking me off the ledge"; when my head is in the wrong place I often have to rely on others to be my voice of reason.