It's easy when I have no money
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 392
It's easy when I have no money
It's day 4 for me today. Feeling better emotionally but I'm so tired, it's frustrating. There's so much housework to do, yet I just spent the last hour and a half napping. I'm guessing my body needs it to heal and recover from the last 3 years of binging.
This is the longest stretch I've had in the last couple of months. My longest stretch in the past three years has been 12 days. Too many day 1's to remember.
It's pretty easy at the moment because I literally haven't had any money. I have to pawn some jewellery this afternoon so that I have money to feed my kids for the next week until I get paid again. I'm terrified that I'm going to buy alcohol.
I feel like a wretch. I earn a good wage but because of my drinking I've been working less and now I have to pawn stuff to pay for food. I'm so disgusted with myself.
Surely the only way is up from here?
This is the longest stretch I've had in the last couple of months. My longest stretch in the past three years has been 12 days. Too many day 1's to remember.
It's pretty easy at the moment because I literally haven't had any money. I have to pawn some jewellery this afternoon so that I have money to feed my kids for the next week until I get paid again. I'm terrified that I'm going to buy alcohol.
I feel like a wretch. I earn a good wage but because of my drinking I've been working less and now I have to pawn stuff to pay for food. I'm so disgusted with myself.
Surely the only way is up from here?
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Yes, when you stop digging, you've reached your bottom and the only way to go from there is up. 
Stay sober at all costs! You are nearly done with the physical withdrawals. You don't want to have to go thru them again.
You can expect to feel tired or 'off' for a while in early recovery. It's your brain and body healing and getting back to normal. Eat right, get enough rest, and exercise. Treat yourself well.
Congrats on four days sober!
Stay sober at all costs! You are nearly done with the physical withdrawals. You don't want to have to go thru them again.
You can expect to feel tired or 'off' for a while in early recovery. It's your brain and body healing and getting back to normal. Eat right, get enough rest, and exercise. Treat yourself well.
Congrats on four days sober!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
I was exhausted in the early days of recovery, noneever. We've beaten ourselves up rather badly & need time to heal. You will get there, don't be discouraged. 4 days is wonderful.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
You can ensure the only way is up from here noneever
have you thought about a recovery plan at all?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
have you thought about a recovery plan at all?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 1,067
Congrats on day 4 you are doing great keep it up! I also have ruined my finances because if my drinking I'm on day 2 and trying to figure out what to sell the only hope we have is to give up the alcohol I'm so sorry that you are hurting so much I wish that it didn't hurt so much. Please keep your head up things will get better my friend..
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Good job on day 4! That was a tough day for me too. Lots of cravings. This time when I quit I made sure I wasn't finishing off a bottle so I didn't go into auto-pilot; borrow money, get dressed, hop in van, hit the liquor and be sipping that first drink before I realized what I was doing. I don't know what kind of weird logic made it easier for me this time. But knowing I wasn't "out" kept me more mindful and less fearful and anxious about running out. I am flat effing broke too. I feel so completely relieved that I still had money in my pocket when I sobered up. Not much but enough to keep me from going into a tail spin of panic during my first week sober.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 874
I hope you don't let financial pressures be an excuse to drink. It sounds like you're at a turning point - and you have some serious motivation to stay sober! We're all pulling for you.
It's much easier to deal with the financials when you're not drunk or hungover. Congrats on day 4!
It's much easier to deal with the financials when you're not drunk or hungover. Congrats on day 4!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 392
I have no intention of drinking today.
My plan: post here on SR. Read threads on this site daily. Meditate for 10 mins a day. I'm reading 'when things fall apart'- am about half way through and it's resonating with me so far.
I'm uncomfortable with the 12 steps- secular sobriety seems to be a much better fit for me.
My plan: post here on SR. Read threads on this site daily. Meditate for 10 mins a day. I'm reading 'when things fall apart'- am about half way through and it's resonating with me so far.
I'm uncomfortable with the 12 steps- secular sobriety seems to be a much better fit for me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 392
I never ever ever want to feel this way again- knowing that my current circumstances are the results of many poor decisions as a result of drinking. The terrifying part is that things could be far worse, it's by sheer luck I haven't killed or injured others or myself. If this knowledge and experience doesnt wake me up, nothing will.
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