Stewy84

Anxiety back again, dark thoughts seem to be returning, I'm in bed straight after work, it's cold and dark and I feel like I've been on my own all day. Struggling to connect with others at present, the very thing that is most likely going to make me feel better, talking with others scares me. It's the feeling of being negatively evaluated.

There was a time when I was drinking and I'm sure I didn't feel this bad, it's only since stopping I've really struggled with the depression / anxiety

I have started to feel dreadful again in the mornings and just like everything is passing me by

neferkamichael

Stewy I'm goin on 6 years sober and my feelings and emotions seem to have intensified in a way you are describing. Booze and such would suppress them for a while but they just come back worse. I have come to embrace my feelings and live with them whatever they are. Rootin for ya.

On The Road

Stewy. I'm glad to see you sharing your feelings. You know that if you drink, you'll simply add to your anxiety and depression.

Is there any way you can visit a doctor or therapist to see if meds might be helpful?

I suffer from anxiety and depression and therapy has really done wonders for me after I quit the booze. And just so you know, I went into it thinking it was a load of crap. How wrong I was! Hang in there.

ScottFromWI

Sorry to hear you are having some down-time Stewy. Have you been keeping up with your therapy/meds? You were doing great with that for a while and it really seemed to show through in your posts.

Regarding your statement above, that's purely your addiction talking. Take a moment and read your writings at the link below about how bad things were even when you were still drinking. You are having a difficult time right now -that's true, but if you were to drink again it would only make things even worse than they are. The "throwing gasoline on a fire to put it out" concept applies 100% in this situation.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-new-site.html

Anna

Stewy, have you talked to your dr about the depression/anxiety returning. It might be helpful and perhaps changing medication or dosage would help. I know for a fact that drinking only relieves anxiety very briefly, and then it's back worse than ever. I hope you feel better.

Soberwolf

Hey Stewy I recently changed my meds as I was on a low dose of citalopram and it was ok for a while but seemed to stop being as effective I'm now using something new its been a couple of weeks and thier bedding in

Are you still on venlafaxine ? that was a nightmare for me gave me nothing but migraines have you spoken to your Dr ?

Also I'm thinking about counselling as I completed CBT and that did help with my anxiety but my depression remains is that an option for you

BTW I'm being open about my medication as it might help someone I listen to my Dr and follow her words to the T its been 6-8 months since starting meds I think and it does help I was told I might have to try a few before I find the right fit

If your cold I suggest a steaming hot bath with some radox for men - trust me it's lush that will warm you up

Don't think everything is passing you by either you are doing great considering I think you forget that sometimes

If you fancy a chat drop a pm I'm there bud

MikeM

See the things I underlined and put in bold above. Underlined = symptom. Bold = cause. See the pattern?

You have social anxiety and thus you are miserable. I know about this all to well.

Get treatment for your social problems. I promise you it will make everything better.

I like you. I don't look at you negatively.

You're very fragile with the mindset you have. Be like my dad. He doesn't care what people think of him. And he connects very well with them, should he choose to. It's HIS decision. He's not at the mercy of how other people behave.

If he walks down the street and someone yells to him: "*******!". It does not shift his state. Well maybe in a humorous way if he chooses to get back at them.

If he has far heavier things to do. High-level meetings at a huge company, his state does not shift. He walks into it as though he's taking a walk in the park. He never gets nervous.

Why do I tell you all this? Because that's how people can respond as well. And it's not what he does do. He's just being natural, himself. What other people do is create fear, anxiety, nervousness, feeling inferior, being upset. He just does not do those unnecessary things.

So the question is, what do you do that gets in your way? It's not about building a self, it's about stripping away the nonsense that gets in the way of your natural self.

thenewguy

All I wanted to say was I'm in your corner and you're not alone.

I am 2 1/2 years sober, and experiencing some of the most brutal intense anxiety since I've quit, and I've seriously considering inpatient. Same thing with the horrible mornings. You are not alone, you can reach out for help and it will be there for you.

Sending positive thoughts.

Aquatundra

Mornings are the worst for me im 60 + days sober I think like 62? But it does get better. I promise. I know its cliche and I know over the last 60 days when I was looking for relief and constantly seeing and reading that I was like 'right but when????????'

I started finding people on youtube to listen to and their experiences and finally I came to a really good video about not fighting your emotions and just accepting them and feeling them and knowing they will pass.

strategery

One of the things I've found with increased sobriety, is that sobriety doesn't fix a lot of things. Some of the issues we deal with, are the reasons why we picked up in the first place. However, I am a bit concerned in that you seem to think that you were better when you were drinking. It shows your sobriety is in serious danger.

You may want to think about the reasons why you quit and why you love being sober. I have had to do this too since there are times my AV tries to tell me that I was doing better when I was a drinking and it's a big fat lie.

Plure

Hey Stewy, good seeing you again. Sorry to hear about your struggle with anxiety; I've been in the same boat lately since going sober again earlier this month. Sending my positive thoughts and energy your way.

Hang in there!

MikeM

Still with us Stewy?

Stewy84

Thank you, I find it difficult to embrace feelings, I have got this mentality that I have to be a certain way all the time like positive and upbeat. I try and suck any negative feelings up rather than confront them, maybe that's were I'm going a bit wrong

Thanks Stewy

Stewy84

I've had 3 lots of CBT over the years and I've been on 3 different lots of anti depressants , citalopram, venlafaxine now sertraline. Unfortunately I feel like I've lost the ability to actually make a judgement about whether to return to the gp and ask about medications and doses. I've started to think this is just the way I am and that I need to get on with things

Soberwolf

I think you should spk to a dr Stewy the sooner the better if your feeling like this bud

Stewy84

Thanks for the heads up Scott, I see what you mean. I'm still taking the medication and I finished therapy a while back now. I know it would be worse if I drank I would be bitterly disappointed if I lost sobriety. I just feel low at times and over think / ruminate

Stewy84

Hi Anna,

I will make an appointment with my gp to discuss.

Do you think it might be beneficial to enquirer about seeing a psychiatrist who may have some additional knowledge about medication that could help?

Thanks, Stewy

Stewy84

Thanks wolf,

Sounds like me, just got headaches with venlafaxine and citalopram didn't seem to be as effective second time around.

Yes I'll get the hot bath. Last night reminded me of the times I was in a dark depression and I wasn't able to get out of bed. I don't want to be there again.

I feel selfish as I've got a lot of support around me. What reason do I have to be anxious or in distress? That's one of the things that frustrates me so much

Stewy84

Thanks for your knowledge Mike.

Yes but what treatment us needed for social problems? What do you suggest?

Have you any experience yourself of these issues?

Stewy84

Cheers new guy, means a lot to know I'm not experiencing these things on my own. It's a battle isn't it