New Guy
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Here and There
Posts: 21
New Guy
Hi everyone.
I am new to this place and wanted to introduce myself and to see if I am in the right place, as I have a lot questions but nobody to ask them to that would understand and not judge.
I am at a crossroads right now because eI have been doing some things lately that I would never do usually, that are risky and not good things done only when I am drinking, and it has been scaring me enough to make me think that I should maybe take a break or something from the drinks that I have been having lately. People have told me that usually someone has to hit bottom before they get to a point where they want to change something, but the actions that have come up when drinking, and the way that I have yet to get in trouble for them sort of scared me enough to look at it, since I figure that the next time it happens, will probably not be as lucky, and that if I keep doing what I am doing, I will ruin my life one of these times. I am not sure if I am looking to fully stop drinking, or to take a break, or what is even going on, but wanted to go and look at this place and maybe talk with some of you since you have been through a lot, will not judge, and might have some great advice.
Thanks!
I am new to this place and wanted to introduce myself and to see if I am in the right place, as I have a lot questions but nobody to ask them to that would understand and not judge.
I am at a crossroads right now because eI have been doing some things lately that I would never do usually, that are risky and not good things done only when I am drinking, and it has been scaring me enough to make me think that I should maybe take a break or something from the drinks that I have been having lately. People have told me that usually someone has to hit bottom before they get to a point where they want to change something, but the actions that have come up when drinking, and the way that I have yet to get in trouble for them sort of scared me enough to look at it, since I figure that the next time it happens, will probably not be as lucky, and that if I keep doing what I am doing, I will ruin my life one of these times. I am not sure if I am looking to fully stop drinking, or to take a break, or what is even going on, but wanted to go and look at this place and maybe talk with some of you since you have been through a lot, will not judge, and might have some great advice.
Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,851
Welcome to SR, TopGun; glad you found us. I hope that the support, understanding and encouragement that you find here will help you achieve lasting sobriety and recovery.
Rock bottom is where you choose it to be. Why not choose sobriety today.
There are some great links here at SR that I will post for you in a minute.
Rock bottom is where you choose it to be. Why not choose sobriety today.
There are some great links here at SR that I will post for you in a minute.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,851
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,355
Hi TopGun 
a bottom need not be an event, it can be a simple decision to stop drinking, if drinking is leading you into dangerous or risky situations or behaviour.
For me my relationship with alcohol progressed to the point where my drinking was very dangerous for me.
It controlled me not the other way around. The relationship was irrevocably toxic.
I live a far safer, happier and fulfilled life now. I want to be sober for the rest of my life.
D
a bottom need not be an event, it can be a simple decision to stop drinking, if drinking is leading you into dangerous or risky situations or behaviour.
For me my relationship with alcohol progressed to the point where my drinking was very dangerous for me.
It controlled me not the other way around. The relationship was irrevocably toxic.
I live a far safer, happier and fulfilled life now. I want to be sober for the rest of my life.
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 151
You don't have to hit bottom before you decide to change. I didn't exactly hit bottom when I finally quit - I just lost enough, something clicked in me, and I was ready to change. If you are an alcoholic, there is no doubt things will continue to get worse. If you aren't sure if you're ready to quit, try abstinence for a month. I tried this many times when I was testing the waters of sobriety - but I never made it.
Welcome and good luck!
Welcome and good luck!
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 50
Originally Posted by TopGun1 
People have told me that usually someone has to hit bottom before they get to a point where they want to change something
Let's say I have a very strange practice wherein I periodically get a big kick out of hitting my thumb with a hammer. It gradually dawns on me that it might not be a very good or reasonable practice. Should I wait until I hit rock bottom in this practice - wait perhaps until I've managed to break my thumb (a high rock bottom) or sever my thumb (a low rock bottom)?
No. I'm going to simply accept that it is a foolish practice, that it's doing me no good, and that it's painful to hit my thumb with a hammer - and I'll simply therefore cease to do it any longer.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Here and There
Posts: 21
I lately have found myself going out with certain people, and whenever I go out, I black out. What that has led to also is the fact that whenever I drink I never want to sleep at another place than my own bed, so I end up driving. I thought it was a new thing, but looking back, it has always happened and has just really escalated lately to the point that I have been driving a lot after a lot of drinks and also even blackout. The turning point for me was a few weeks ago when I told myself going to the party that I cannot drive home, had a burned out headlight that was another reason not to, was asked not to by a loved one, and after I blacked out, ended up back at my house with about 5 mins memory of the 15 mile drive which really scared me because the decision was made when I had no control over it (I had no memory of deciding to, and knew that I was completely wasted and still thought it was apparently a great idea to. ) that really scared me into wanting to look into making a change
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,064
Well, I think the only "rock bottom" is death, and there are many who pursue alcohol to that depth. It happens all kinds of ways--suicide, accidents, illness--so I don't think it's a good idea for anyone to wait until he or she reaches the bottom.
(We posted at the same time, Top Gun--I didn't see your example of risky behavior).
(We posted at the same time, Top Gun--I didn't see your example of risky behavior).
Last edited by Coldfusion; 02-23-2016 at 08:02 PM. Reason: addition
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Join Date: Feb 2016
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That pretty much sums up my decision to look into maybe quitting or getting help. good analogy
Originally Posted by PaulDaveSmithJo
The problem with the 'rock bottom' notion is that everybody has a different understanding or experience of 'bottom.' Some have relatively high bottoms; others, lower. The ones with very low bottoms sometimes end up dead (but so too do some of the ones with higher bottoms).
Let's say I have a very strange practice wherein I periodically get a big kick out of hitting my thumb with a hammer. It gradually dawns on me that it might not be a very good or reasonable practice. Should I wait until I hit rock bottom in this practice - wait perhaps until I've managed to break my thumb (a high rock bottom) or sever my thumb (a low rock bottom)?
No. I'm going to simply accept that it is a foolish practice, that it's doing me no good, that it's painful to hit my thumb with a hammer, and I'll simply therefore cease to do so any longer.
Let's say I have a very strange practice wherein I periodically get a big kick out of hitting my thumb with a hammer. It gradually dawns on me that it might not be a very good or reasonable practice. Should I wait until I hit rock bottom in this practice - wait perhaps until I've managed to break my thumb (a high rock bottom) or sever my thumb (a low rock bottom)?
No. I'm going to simply accept that it is a foolish practice, that it's doing me no good, that it's painful to hit my thumb with a hammer, and I'll simply therefore cease to do so any longer.
Alive in the Superunknown
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: 30.47ºN, 98.15ºW
Posts: 1,460
I think everyone has a unique rock bottom. I also think that if you're wondering if you have a drinking problem, you probably do.
Welcome to SR, pull up a chair and read a little. If you're like me, you'll recognize yourself in more of the stories than you'll care to admit.
Welcome to SR, pull up a chair and read a little. If you're like me, you'll recognize yourself in more of the stories than you'll care to admit.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hi Top Gun. Welcome to the site.
I didn't drink and drive (where I lived I'd never have managed to steer far with all the twisty little roads and high traffic volumes) but my behaviour and attitude when drunk was really starting to scare me. I realised that to keep getting drunk was like playing Russian Roulette with my life. Later I was to realise that this meant avoiding the first drink, as this is the one that invariably starts the trouble.
I was, at that point, blissfully unaware of two things. ..
1) How hard it would be for me to take alcohol out of my life
2) The true extent of the impact of drinking on my life
So, getting sober was tough, but by embracing a recovery program it was doable. And as time progresses it becomes more and more apparent just how happy and freeing a sober life can be, and how much better my life can be without it (my finances; my relationships; my mental health; my experience of work - yes, our drinking affects our attitude and feelings in our sober moments as well; the activities and experiences I'm likely to engage in).
Wishing you all the best on your journey, through sobriety and on to recovery, happiness and freedom.
I didn't drink and drive (where I lived I'd never have managed to steer far with all the twisty little roads and high traffic volumes) but my behaviour and attitude when drunk was really starting to scare me. I realised that to keep getting drunk was like playing Russian Roulette with my life. Later I was to realise that this meant avoiding the first drink, as this is the one that invariably starts the trouble.
I was, at that point, blissfully unaware of two things. ..
1) How hard it would be for me to take alcohol out of my life
2) The true extent of the impact of drinking on my life
So, getting sober was tough, but by embracing a recovery program it was doable. And as time progresses it becomes more and more apparent just how happy and freeing a sober life can be, and how much better my life can be without it (my finances; my relationships; my mental health; my experience of work - yes, our drinking affects our attitude and feelings in our sober moments as well; the activities and experiences I'm likely to engage in).
Wishing you all the best on your journey, through sobriety and on to recovery, happiness and freedom.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 355
Originally Posted by TopGun1
. . . I told myself going to the party that I cannot drive home, had a burned out headlight that was another reason not to, was asked not to by a loved one, and after I blacked out, ended up back at my house with about 5 mins memory of the 15 mile drive which really scared me because the decision was made when I had no control over it (I had no memory of deciding to, and knew that I was completely wasted and still thought it was apparently a great idea to. ) that really scared me into wanting to look into making a change
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,755
Welcome to the family TG. My rock bottom was waking up every morning hating myself. 
I didn't want to go any lower than that.
Now I'm over six years sober and living a wonderful happy life. You can too. Let us help you get sober for good. 
My rock bottom was waking up every morning hating myself. 
I didn't want to go any lower than that.Now I'm over six years sober and living a wonderful happy life.
You can too. Let us help you get sober for good. 
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
When I quit, I didn't realize then that we choose our own bottom. I'm so lucky that mine wasn't bad but it was bad enough for me that I quit and have stayed quit.
To be honest, if you're blacking out, it's time to stop because you no longer have control over yourself. I would see it as a good thing... It means you know your body can't handle booze.
Welcome to the site. Read, post. You will see that you're in good company.
To be honest, if you're blacking out, it's time to stop because you no longer have control over yourself. I would see it as a good thing... It means you know your body can't handle booze.
Welcome to the site. Read, post. You will see that you're in good company.
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,698
Top Gun. Please give someone who is going to be sober your car keys! You are going to kill someone or yourself driving while intoxicated. If you want to hit rock bottom go to the morgue and see how devastating death is. Better yet, go to a funeral of a child or a parent who was killed by a drunk driver and see if you ever want to do that to a family. Time to make some serious decisions before it is too late.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 770
Welcome TopGun! I'm happy you found this place and are looking for help. And you can get a lot of help here. Go through the links that have been posted and take all this very seriously.
Because it is. As you said, you do dangerous things when you drink. Stop before something bad actually happens!
And you don't need to hit bottom to quit. Hitting bottom is perceived to be a method to finally truly want to quit. But you just have to want to quit.
Furthermore, I've relapsed often. And I used needing to hit bottom as an excuse. "I haven't hit bottom yet, so I need to keep drinking until I do." That must be one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. Think about. You are going to quit but first something horrible needs to happen before you do? Better quit now and prevent the horrible thing.
Btw, how much did you drink? And how often?
Because it is. As you said, you do dangerous things when you drink. Stop before something bad actually happens!
And you don't need to hit bottom to quit. Hitting bottom is perceived to be a method to finally truly want to quit. But you just have to want to quit.
Furthermore, I've relapsed often. And I used needing to hit bottom as an excuse. "I haven't hit bottom yet, so I need to keep drinking until I do." That must be one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. Think about. You are going to quit but first something horrible needs to happen before you do? Better quit now and prevent the horrible thing.
Btw, how much did you drink? And how often?
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