Bunny211

I was talking with someone about how much I drank today and it really brought me right back. I don't EVER want to feel that way again. Remembering it REALLY helps me realize I cannot "just have one."

My day went something like this.

4-6am - Awake, shaking and shivering needing a drink
7:55 am - Hit the liquor store
8:02 am - Chug a nip and throw it up
8:05am - Sip the second nip and keep it down
8:10 am - Second nip
8:30 am - 3rd and 4th nip
9 am - 5th nip
9:30 am - 6th and nip
10 am - Pass out
Noon - Back to the liquor store
12:10 pm - 7th and 8th nip
12:30 pm - 9th and 10th nip
1pm-4pm - Drink until I pass out
7pm - wake up and drink some more, hit liquor store if necessary
9pm - pass out
Wake up overnight shaking and vomiting and try to keep liquor down

Repeat.

I calculated that I drank roughly 16-18 standard drinks each day at the end.
that's all I did was drink.

Sheer HELL.

Thank you GOD for sobriety!

FarToGo

Quite different to yours, but just as sad. I made it to late afternoon each day, but this was getting earlier and earlier. God I loved Christmas holidays because I felt I could drink from 11am without shame, "hey it's Christmas, we're all at it" (oh yeah?)
Throughout each day it became a process of holding myself together and trying to recover from the night before, just biding my time until I got home from work and could start drinking again.
So sad and wasteful. So glad I'm not there anymore.
xx

Grendhar

When I was working .. I would be stressed out and watch the clock. Soon as I could leave I would rush home and drink immediately .. sleep and do it again the next day. Towards the end I would call out sick just so I could drink. Didn't get fired for that but a bunch of us got laid off... not enough orders / too many workers.

I have been out of work since October .. that has been the worst thing for me. I've been drinking every day as soon as I drop my girlfriend off at work. If she goes in at 8:00 am, I'll be buying beer by 8:20..

It's been getting worse .. I used to buy a certain amount of beer .. drink it.. sleep and then wake up and accept the fact I was done drinking for the day and do it again the next day. Lately I wake up only a couple of hours later and go to the store for more beer.. last time I drank I didn't even go to sleep, I drank an absurd amount of beer and immediately went for more.

I have been drinking alone in my apartment .. it is no life.

I'm on Day 5 without a drink now.

Soberwolf

That was pretty spot on Bunny x

Your 100% right remembering it means we'll never forget I don't dwell on it but it's a seriously powerful reminder

least

I remember so well, waking up at 3 or 4 am, shaking, in the throes of withdrawal. If I had any wine, I'd drink some to quell the shakes. If I didn't have any I would pace the house until the store opened at 8. So glad those days are gone now.

MikeM

Wake up around noon. Get beer. Drink until deep in the night. Wake up, not remembering going to bed. Repeat.

Sometimes I would keep drinking all night and the day after as well.

It was madness.

IvanMike

Wake up dismayed because i was still alive and was now awake on top of that.

Use because I had to.

Do things that went against any values and morals that I used to have in order to be able to use.

Use in ever increasing amounts in an attempt to find an oblivion which became more and more elusive.

Finally pass out.

Repeat.

Life in recovery is far more interesting.

FormerWineGirl

During the workweek, I would generally wait until I got off work (unless I went home for lunch.) I would either wait until I got home, or stop at the store for a 4 pack of "little wines" for the long ride home (I had a 10 minute commute). Sometimes I would already have them in the car. In the summer, I would turn the air conditioning on "high" in the car and rotate the bottle around against the vent just to cool it off a minute or two (yea, nasty). Get home, drink until I fell asleep. The only difference on weekends or days off would be that I started much earlier, usually 10:30 or 11:00. I did this for years. I was a wine and vodka drinker. Sometimes, I would have a glass of both beside me, for "variety".

SobrieTee

Wow, during the last couple months of my drinking, my day was eerily similar to yours!

4-6am: Wake up shaking, dizzy, heart racing. Do a shot of vodka and usually throw it up. Wait a few minutes then do another shot and force that one to stay down. Look around my apartment for a chaser, and realize I don't have any non-alcoholic beverages, so I use beer or wine instead.
6-8am: Do as many shots as I need until I feel "normal" enough to get ready and head to work. Shower and attempt to hide my bloodshot eyes with drops, and cover the bags with makeup. Mix my roadies for the day.
9am-6/7pm: Work, and sip on my roadies throughout the day. Sometimes I went to "lunch," also known as the liquor store or a bar, because I ran out of booze. I didn't eat much because I always wanted to drink "just a little more" before I let food kill the buzz I had going.
7pm-midnight: Pick up some wine and drink 1-2 bottles at home while I "unwind." Sometimes I had dinner, sometimes not.
Wake up, repeat.
Weekends were much of the same, except I had more time to nap (until withdrawal woke me up again).
UGH.

gettingsmarter

Wow reading your stories just gave me the chills. Yuck!
7 am wake up hungover.
I would sort of make it till 5.
5 - race home starting to get dry heaves.
5:30 - Get home and down 4 or 5 shots to feel normal.
6:00 - Get super excited for about 30 min while continuing to do shot after shot.
6:30 - the depression would set in and I'd hate my life and continue drinking till falling down drunk.
Continue drinking to maintain that and dreading having to wakeup.

Be hungover all day and repeat. It sucked. Never ever again!

Sabotage No More

Same...my clients were noticing something was wrong with my inconsistency. I did not drink while I worked but I would drink after i got home. And if I went all night then i would cancel clients the next day to continue my drinking. I would go on benders for days ...UGH! What a mess. I'm so grateful its over!!!! and I'm in recovery. Thank you for this post...i need to remember.

TopGun1

well, I worked at a wine store and we could drink whatever whenever, and also were encouraged to with the reps and salespeople. So that was my day. After work I would come home and have a bottle of wine while I watched tv. In the beginning I could go through it in a few hours, then lately I could be through it in 3 glasses while I was making dinner. The worst parts were when I didn't work and would just start having it at that pace in the day, work into the night with it, and then just stay up alone drinking it watching tv. That is a weird feeling, to get the same level of hangovers that you would get pregaming and going out with friends on a friday night that you get sitting alone on a Tuesday watching reruns of TV shows.