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Insanity of taking the first drink or drug?

Old 02-19-2016, 10:43 PM
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Insanity of taking the first drink or drug?

How often does the thought come up to drink or use for everyone? I was curious as to those of you who feel you work a good program and have acquired some longer term sobriety. How often do you experience the the short thought of it and then recoil? It happened to me earlier while talking with a friend about nursing and intravenous injections. While talking it reminded me of times where I have been in the hospital and received intravenous injections and loved the feeling. This thought scared me a little because I just went to a meeting hours before and was feeling very good about my sobriety and I still do.

Usually I don't have many thoughts of drinking or using, however, I am looking for some other opinions. It shows me the true insanity of the disease becauee I don't want to drink! I know I won't find happiness in the drugs or alcohol. What do you all think? I think I can use this to grow stronger from and already do. This is life and death and I want to live !!!
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Old 02-19-2016, 11:12 PM
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Hi SoberLife

It's been several years for me. The last time was during a long period of ill health and worry when I wasn't sleeping.

The thought a drink might help flashed briefly across my mind one night in the wee hours.

I don't think having the thought is in itself any kind of failure and I didn't feel like my recovery was imperiled.

In the bright light of the next morning I dismissed it as the madness it was

I really believe the measure of our recovery lies in how we respond to those mad thoughts

D
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Old 02-19-2016, 11:30 PM
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I've got six plus years and still get thoughts of drinking sometimes. They are easily dismissed tho and don't get me all upset. Just a thought, and not a viable one at that.
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Old 02-20-2016, 06:38 AM
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My last real craving was month 5 I look back now shocked at how bad I drank its crazy what I was doing thank God I don't drink no more
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Old 02-20-2016, 06:43 AM
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It's rare, but they do crop up from time to time. It's just a flash though, and then it's gone. I dismiss it and focus on something real.
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Old 02-20-2016, 06:49 AM
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I'm not "working a program." I just got medical help, quit drinking, and carried on with life.

At Day 40, I have no PAWS or craving problems (and I do give the credit to the treatment I received). Once in a while, the thought will occur to me, "I'd like to drink." But it's very tightly coupled with painful memories of what alcohol brought -- intoxication (which I don't like), hangovers, illness, and a messy life.
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Old 02-20-2016, 07:59 AM
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I can only offer observations from my own experience. The first couple months were ups and downs; then I joined SR and the camaraderie made everything much easier.

For me, I look at it as a line drawn in the sand, a stake placed in the earth. It's simply out of the question. Since then, I've had the same experience Sober Potamus described, very fleeting thoughts that my mind rejected because the line was drawn and the stake was placed.

I stay here on SR because, in addition to the company here that I truly enjoy, it keeps my resolve strong. I don't want to take any chances with my sobriety and being here reinforces that on a daily basis.
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Old 02-20-2016, 08:11 AM
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At 15 months, I am getting more comfortable in sobriety.
I don't have urges to drink, but I do have a healthy fear of what would happen if I DID take a drink.

Not only would I be fiercely disappointed in myself, but I am not sure I would ever stop.

So I will never take that first drink, and I will never find that out!
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Old 02-20-2016, 09:58 AM
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I get thoughts of drinking sometimes, but so far I've managed to quickly replace them with lots of negatives and the very real fear of undoing what I've managed to achieve so far. I also use a mind trick and try to disgust myself with the thought of the taste, smell ect..........
I also really know on a deep level that I will have to get sober again at some point and the effort and struggle of the first days / weeks is still fresh, I don't want to repeat them.
Another thing I try to keep in mind, apparently if you return to drinking, your addiction can very quickly get worse than it was before, what a scary thought!
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Old 02-20-2016, 05:48 PM
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I've got about 6 years and I still get thoughts about drinking from time to time.

Usually it's situational, like I will be in a restaurant and someone at a nearby table will be having a great steak and craft beer. And frankly, it looks good. But I also know where it will end up, so I will order a great steak and a diet coke.
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Old 02-20-2016, 10:29 PM
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For me now a thought of drinking brings a great feeling of relief. I am thankful and so grateful that I don't act on these thoughts any more, and it's a relief to know where I am going to wake up tomorrow, and that I will remember every single thing of today with no regret or shame when I do.

The thoughts come and go, and I let them. That's about the whole story. No worry, or fear any more, just relief.
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Old 02-21-2016, 06:29 AM
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I also have the fleeting thought occasionally, maybe holding a glance at a glass of wine in a restaurant for a second or two, or thinking briefly for a second, "Oh that would be nice" but reality kicks in very quickly knowing it wouldn't be nice at all for me.

There was an exception a little over a week ago that caught me off guard, however. We were in Puerto Rico visiting friends. I was sick with a cold and didn't go out for dinner one night. The electricity went out, and I was alone. I started to have a bit of anxiety, and there was a bottle of vodka on the counter. Bear in mind, I will be 18 months sober tomorrow, and since my husband still drinks, there is a fully stocked bar in my home 24/7 which doesn't bother me. But it was different this time. I almost drank. It was totally unexpected, and strong. I got through it, and have told my husband numerous times how glad I was that I didn't drink.

I hope I never have a craving that strong again. But if I do, I will remember how happy and relieved I was that I didn't cave in.
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Old 02-21-2016, 06:41 AM
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At 14 months, I honestly think about drinking more than I'd like to. But the weird thing is: I'm not craving it. Instead I'm aware that it's all around me, and if I let my guard down, I'll know I'll find myself in some dive bar somewhere, smashed.

So it's not cravings, per se. In fact the thought (or smell or sight) of booze makes me queasy - which is really hard on me when my wife has a glass of wine on the weekend. I swear I can smell it all the way upstairs....ugh.
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Old 02-21-2016, 07:32 AM
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Hi S L 90.
The moment we remove the alcohol from our body and from our system we are left with ourselves our old head ,thoughts ideas etc , we need to change from the person that brought us in to the rooms its hard to stay stopped if we think the same way , the more effort we put in ? the more progress we make .

AA program talks about the ''obsession '' has been removed physical compulsion and mental obsession that only happens if we thoroughly follow the suggested path . Early on thoughts and cravings do not last if we take action , sometimes there may be a trigger ''example '' our minds remember the feeling of ease and comfort like remembering the feeling of euphoria of sedation via injection which is mind altering , sedation is acceptable if there is just cause , I have known people, and did it myself years ago where I rationalized and justified smoking joints , heavy gambling /affairs because ''at least I wasn't drinking '' I call that ''excitement chasing '' we cannot kid ourselves that is the wisdom to know the difference , at least you did not indulge and the fact is that the'' infrequent events'' when this happens and you resist the more natural it feels and you will do so without thinking .

Do you have a sponsor who is helping you through the program ? if not it would be a good idea to fix one up , take care .

Regards Stevie recovered 12 03 2006 . words are easy music is harder .
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Old 02-21-2016, 08:36 AM
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At my worst, I obsessed over drinking, on the weekends, because that's when I allowed myself to drink. Because of what alcohol has done to me (actually I did it to myself, no one forced me to drink), I now have a healthy fear of alcohol. Even then, I got drunk a few weeks ago.
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