ICanDoBetter

When I started this journey on day 1 and committed to posting here for 28 days, I never actually said I wasn't going to drink. I'm a bit of a commitment-phobe to anything that sounds like forever. I also don't think I really thought this time would be different. But somehow it is turning out to be so... At least so far... At least one day at a time. Rather than thinking about "forever", which feels totally overwhelming... I'm thinking about today, completing day 7... Which for me is a pretty big deal. With the exception of a seven day commitment about a year ago, the last time I probably went this long with out drinking would be seven years ago.

Realizing that makes me take pause and realize just how much overtime I allowed alcohol to dictate my daily thoughts and life... And I don't want to go back there. I do not want for this to impact my kids. There is time for me to turn that influence around, I hope. I try to exhibit healthy choices with food and activity... Yet keep fooling myself about the influence me drinking would have on them. And these seven days while excruciatingly tough have given me the chance to reflect on that.

Last year after seven days I believed I could moderate, and folks here recognized my lack of commitment... So I quit posting for over a year.

But this time is different... I can't explain how or why... But I feel it.

My profile picture reads "Hang On, Pain Ends." I happened on that quote the other day. Hope is a very special and important word to me and a connection to my mother for many reasons. To then find a message with that word and it to be a message associated with AA feels like the sign that I had been seeking... The need I had for something to trigger a change... And the fact that I didn't find it til day four is interesting... An affirmation that I'm doing the right thing? A message? I'm not sure and perhaps I'm drawing connections where there is merely coincidence, but finding that quote was very meaningful to me and has given me renewed strength. I find myself allowing my kind to think beyond day 28... And I can now actually say that I'm committing to not drinking for 28 days, one day at a time, and I feel confident that I'll commit to day 29 and so on... But I'm not focusing on that too much just yet.

So here is to day seven and holding strong...

Zonda

I'm on day three staying strong. When I thought about it I don't think I have done three days for at least three years. And if I ever did 2, it would only of been because of a super doopa hangover. I used to think one day not drinking a bottle of wine was the alcohol free days others talked about. I enjoyed my night with my kids tonight. Didn't do much but enjoyed it. I'm going to focus on that tomorrow. Good luck with day 8.

StartingOverNW

I like the one day at a time approach you've got ICDB. Have a great Day 7!

Hawkeye13

Sending you support--you are right, a sober parent is a wonderful
gift for your children and your family's future.

You can do this--little steps will get you there.

least

Congrats on your first sober week! Keep going, it gets better.

Soberwolf

Keep on keeping on & congrats icdb

ICanDoBetter

Thanks all. It's the time of day and weekday routine where cravings start. I have a plan for the evening and I will not drink.

BellJar7

Were you more likely to drink in the evenings, ICDB?

That's my ONLY drinking time. And I can go days without, or days with only one or two glasses of wine, but I can't stay completely abstinent forever it seems. What works in the evenings for you?

ICanDoBetter

Yes, definitely. I'm predominately a home drinker, and it's never one or two... It's,a,six pack or more on a weeknight if beer is in the house... Or whisky or vodka mixed with soda or whatever was inthe house to mix with it... Or a bottle of wine followed by beer... And this was on work days from the time k got home til I went to bed. On weekends I would try to get all errands done where I needed to drive and I would typically start drinking by 1 PM. If we did go out and were drinking, I'd most often keep pace with my husband, who has 100 pounds on me.

What I have or am in the process of realizing and believing this time around is that I simply am not a person who can moderate. Period. I do not have self control once I start.

I'm on day seven and dabbling with how to fill that time. Meditating, coffee in the evenings or treating myself to a 20 ounce bottle of soda. Last night I started a puzzle and I'm anxious to get back to it this evening. I thin for me I'll have so,e trial and error of how to fill the time, hopefully eventually getting back to being more productive around the house before too long. And I simply have to believe and follow through on not drinking today...and only worry about today right now.

Zonda

Spot on about dabbling how to fill time from getting home to going to bed. My partner is shift worker so goes to bed early, so I have about two half hours each night to myself (which is when I used to gulp the wine down). I still struggling to come up with things to replace it