dane5679

My AH has been back in recovery for about 120 days and is driving me nuts. He is a slob. Throws his CIG butts in my yard, doesn't clean anything, no help in the house at all. I basically ask him over and over to clean this stuff up... And he doesn't. Then gets mad BC I'm nagging. I refuse to clean the disgusting trash of his up like he is a child. Then he finally does after 3 months of fighting over it... And he gives me a hard time when I ask him to do anything to contribute to the family.. Including his OWN dishes/ laundry. Mind you I have been supporting our family for over 6month by myself while he was away and now home until he starts work again in march. He is being unbearable. Told me that I need acceptance and that I blamemy bad moods on him... Well. Yes, my only day off I spend cleaning up the messes in addition to doing all of the housework. Grrrrr

Steely

That's why I'm single lol. Maybe things will improve when he starts work, but that's nearly 2 months away! He's sober and that's great.

Ann

Sometimes the character defects we used to blame on drug use are still there when they get clean and sober.

He's not working and has time to help, yet doesn't. I don't think it will get better once he begins working again.

Personally, I would be exhausted carrying the load you are carrying. It's an indication of his selfish laziness that he won't help. If you don't want to make him leave, then perhaps engage a cleaning service and pay for it with the money that may be going to his cigarettes or amusement while he just sits around.

I don't think his laziness is the only issue here, complete disregard for your well being and health is much bigger.

I'm sorry you are going through this.

Hugs

maia1234

D,
My xah never went into any recovery program. But from reading on this forum, if he was working a real recovery program he wouldn't be acting that selfish. He sounds like a dry drunk. All he did was stop his addiction, and has no intention on growing up, sobering up and working a program.

The question to you, is how long can u live like this? So he goes back to work in march and it will be the same shxt different month.

Are you working on your recovery? Do u have a plan, any boundaries, saving money, going to alanon meetings. Sounds like you both are In a rut. He sounds pretty content and is not going to change, so you are the one who has to be strong to execute a change. Work on yourself, get strong, or stronger and make the decision of what you really want in your life.

Hugs my friend, life does get better, if you want it too.