Army's story
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3
Army's story
Hi everybody!
This is my second time around in AA, and it just occurred to me that I haven't really gotten my story (my full story) out and off of my chest. So if you can bear with me, here I go.
Growing up, I was always the kid/teenager that despised drinking, and people that drank, due to watching certain adults close to my life, when they were drink (which one of them was regularly this way lol).
I remember the first time I tasted alcohol. I was out of school between 8th grade and 9th grade. My dad, at one time, was a liquor distributor and had his own company. About 30 years(ish) prior to this, he had a heart attack and was unable to continue, so there were literally cases (like, around 100) right next door to my bedroom in the attic. My dad, at this point, worked nights as a security guard in a courthouse, so he was gone from 4pm-midnight every single night. A friend of mine stayed with me alot during the summer, and somehow, in that childhood mind, with no adult supervision, one of us suggested to open the old bottles of the good **** (Old Fitzgerald, GUT ROT LOL). We proceeded to follow the same routine every night for around a week. drink, drink, drink, drink, puke, sleep. repeat!
After a week of this madness, we stopped, and never talked about it again. So my first experience with any type of alcohol was NOT positive one.
Fast foward a couple of years.
My 16th birthday. I had joked around to the adults that I wanted to get drunk for my birthday. My aunt, thinking she was doing something positive, decided to get me PUKEY drunk, in hopes I would never touch the stuff again. It partially worked, I got drunk and puked. LOL
Fast forward a couple of years.
I was 18, and in the Army, stationed in permanent party. I was a VERY boring, but a GOOD Soldier. My only concerns were working, the gym, eating right, and sleeping good. I did this for about 6 months into my Army career. I didn't really hang out with many others, because I didn't know anyone. This all changed one day talking to a Soldier that worked in our Supply room. We began talking about professional wrestling, with I have always had a huge interest in, and I realized that he did too.
We began hanging out, and travelling to the larger city near base to a weekly LIVE pro wrestling show. All was completely harmless. I should mention, that this new found friend was several years older than me. One night, on our way home from one of the shows, he suggested that we stop and have 'a beer'. We both knew that I was only 18, but he told me to just act cool, and let him do the talking. I was scared ********, and really had no interested in that 'beer' at this point.
We stopped at this live music joint that he had been to a few times and nobody even said a word to me about being there, even though I looked, and still look like im 10, LOL. We sat at an outside patio bar, and he ordered me a beer. I remember HATING the taste of beer. I kept telling him that I didnt know how ANYBODY could drink this ****. He assured me I would get used to it. SEVERAL of these beers later, I puked! I remember thinking to myself, 'never again, this drinking **** isnt for me, this is awful'. He drove us back to the base, and that was it....Until next week!
That next week, we followed the same path, we went to our wrestling show, and then we once again went out drinking. He was right, I did get used to the taste of beer, and began to actually like it. No, LOVE it.
Early on into my drinking life, I resembled any other successful drinker. It was limited to once a week, and I could drink 3 or 4 and be completely content. God what I would give to be able to do this, but thats beside the point.
I successfully drank for several years.
Fast foward a few years, I was out of the Army, and just graduated college. I was in an 'apprenticeship' year, and had a small apartment at my workplace. I remember the year was 2010, and I was alone in my apartment. I remember there was the BCS championship game on, and I was stressed to the max. I was stressed over money, because I wasnt making any, and I didnt have any friends, because I didnt know anybody in this town. It was on THIS night, that the problem began (in my opinion).
I had a 12 pack of bud light in my refridgerator. It had been in there for a few days, and I had honestly forgotten about it. I began drinking a couple of beers, and ended up drinking that entire twelve pack. I remember having about 8 or so, and sitting in my recliner, lights down low, ballgame almost over, having this WARM, comforting feeling come over me. I remember a portion of time in slow motion, all my worries went away, and I really felt like somebody was sitting beside me, almost telling me that it was going to be okay. I remember being so comforted knowing that I finally found something, that, for even a short about of time, could take my worries away, or so I thought.
From that moment on, the problem not only started, but festered, and at times exposed itself.
I basically drank every night from here on. At first it was only after 8pm, then 6, then 5, and later as soon as i picked it up on the way home I would have 6 gone by the time I pulled in the driveway.
Lets fast foward to about 18 months ago.
I, at this point, am married, and have a brand new baby boy! I had a excellent job, and had just started my own side business that was starting to make me some money. Most would say that I was living the American Dream, and in some aspects I was. But let me tell you what nobody saw.
At this point, I knew I had a problem. I didnt know the extent, or how to fix it, but I knew there was a problem, and that this wasnt normal. I had my wife fooled! My wife knew I drank 3ish beers a night, and she never questioned me about it. What she didnt see was the 6 pack of bud Ice and 2 tall boys I drank in the 30ish minute drive on the way home. So by the time I got home, I was already feeling good. This went on for at least a year.
December 2014, **** got real.
December 27, 2014, I got so ****** on Vodka in front of my wife and her family, and said some ****. I basically admitted, while drunk that I am a horrible alcoholic. I woke up actually thankful for what I had done, and went to an AA meeting that morning. I felt such relief because I thought it was over. I thought I finally woke up from the nightmare. I never had any withdrawls, or DTs, or anything like that. quitting was almost easy, because I had my mind to it. AA was a HUGE help. This lasted 44 days.....
On day 44, I had to go to a continuing education convention that was in my town. I was on my way out the door for the day when a collegue invited me to his 'hospitality' suite that his business was hosting. I was apprehensive of this at first, but thought that I could handle it. Lets just say this, I wasnt in this room two minutes and had already killed 2 beers. You can guess how that night ended.....
I slowly eased back into the drinking game again. At first, I was successful. I fed my wife a line that I was okay, blah blah blah, and ofcoruse it worked.
Fast foward to a week ago....God im stupid!
My drinking was worse than ever. I couldnt open my passender door on my truck without beer bottles falling out. I was no longer hiding it. My co workers knew there was bad **** going on with me. People at my job began asking the bottles in my truck. I was once again hopeless, and drinking even more. A week ago, I took my last drink. Long story short, I went out drinking with a friend, and got so sloppy drunk I puked on myself while driving, puked in my house 4 times, got in a huge fight with my wife, you know the story, blah blah blah!
As you guys can only imagine, that went over like a balloon full of ****.
long story short, my wife FINALLY (i am glad she did this) told me if I ever drink again, she is gone.
So here I am, back in AA, taking the program much more serious than I ever have, and I ask for you good people to support this idiot drunk! Hi guys!
This is my second time around in AA, and it just occurred to me that I haven't really gotten my story (my full story) out and off of my chest. So if you can bear with me, here I go.
Growing up, I was always the kid/teenager that despised drinking, and people that drank, due to watching certain adults close to my life, when they were drink (which one of them was regularly this way lol).
I remember the first time I tasted alcohol. I was out of school between 8th grade and 9th grade. My dad, at one time, was a liquor distributor and had his own company. About 30 years(ish) prior to this, he had a heart attack and was unable to continue, so there were literally cases (like, around 100) right next door to my bedroom in the attic. My dad, at this point, worked nights as a security guard in a courthouse, so he was gone from 4pm-midnight every single night. A friend of mine stayed with me alot during the summer, and somehow, in that childhood mind, with no adult supervision, one of us suggested to open the old bottles of the good **** (Old Fitzgerald, GUT ROT LOL). We proceeded to follow the same routine every night for around a week. drink, drink, drink, drink, puke, sleep. repeat!
After a week of this madness, we stopped, and never talked about it again. So my first experience with any type of alcohol was NOT positive one.
Fast foward a couple of years.
My 16th birthday. I had joked around to the adults that I wanted to get drunk for my birthday. My aunt, thinking she was doing something positive, decided to get me PUKEY drunk, in hopes I would never touch the stuff again. It partially worked, I got drunk and puked. LOL
Fast forward a couple of years.
I was 18, and in the Army, stationed in permanent party. I was a VERY boring, but a GOOD Soldier. My only concerns were working, the gym, eating right, and sleeping good. I did this for about 6 months into my Army career. I didn't really hang out with many others, because I didn't know anyone. This all changed one day talking to a Soldier that worked in our Supply room. We began talking about professional wrestling, with I have always had a huge interest in, and I realized that he did too.
We began hanging out, and travelling to the larger city near base to a weekly LIVE pro wrestling show. All was completely harmless. I should mention, that this new found friend was several years older than me. One night, on our way home from one of the shows, he suggested that we stop and have 'a beer'. We both knew that I was only 18, but he told me to just act cool, and let him do the talking. I was scared ********, and really had no interested in that 'beer' at this point.
We stopped at this live music joint that he had been to a few times and nobody even said a word to me about being there, even though I looked, and still look like im 10, LOL. We sat at an outside patio bar, and he ordered me a beer. I remember HATING the taste of beer. I kept telling him that I didnt know how ANYBODY could drink this ****. He assured me I would get used to it. SEVERAL of these beers later, I puked! I remember thinking to myself, 'never again, this drinking **** isnt for me, this is awful'. He drove us back to the base, and that was it....Until next week!
That next week, we followed the same path, we went to our wrestling show, and then we once again went out drinking. He was right, I did get used to the taste of beer, and began to actually like it. No, LOVE it.
Early on into my drinking life, I resembled any other successful drinker. It was limited to once a week, and I could drink 3 or 4 and be completely content. God what I would give to be able to do this, but thats beside the point.
I successfully drank for several years.
Fast foward a few years, I was out of the Army, and just graduated college. I was in an 'apprenticeship' year, and had a small apartment at my workplace. I remember the year was 2010, and I was alone in my apartment. I remember there was the BCS championship game on, and I was stressed to the max. I was stressed over money, because I wasnt making any, and I didnt have any friends, because I didnt know anybody in this town. It was on THIS night, that the problem began (in my opinion).
I had a 12 pack of bud light in my refridgerator. It had been in there for a few days, and I had honestly forgotten about it. I began drinking a couple of beers, and ended up drinking that entire twelve pack. I remember having about 8 or so, and sitting in my recliner, lights down low, ballgame almost over, having this WARM, comforting feeling come over me. I remember a portion of time in slow motion, all my worries went away, and I really felt like somebody was sitting beside me, almost telling me that it was going to be okay. I remember being so comforted knowing that I finally found something, that, for even a short about of time, could take my worries away, or so I thought.
From that moment on, the problem not only started, but festered, and at times exposed itself.
I basically drank every night from here on. At first it was only after 8pm, then 6, then 5, and later as soon as i picked it up on the way home I would have 6 gone by the time I pulled in the driveway.
Lets fast foward to about 18 months ago.
I, at this point, am married, and have a brand new baby boy! I had a excellent job, and had just started my own side business that was starting to make me some money. Most would say that I was living the American Dream, and in some aspects I was. But let me tell you what nobody saw.
At this point, I knew I had a problem. I didnt know the extent, or how to fix it, but I knew there was a problem, and that this wasnt normal. I had my wife fooled! My wife knew I drank 3ish beers a night, and she never questioned me about it. What she didnt see was the 6 pack of bud Ice and 2 tall boys I drank in the 30ish minute drive on the way home. So by the time I got home, I was already feeling good. This went on for at least a year.
December 2014, **** got real.
December 27, 2014, I got so ****** on Vodka in front of my wife and her family, and said some ****. I basically admitted, while drunk that I am a horrible alcoholic. I woke up actually thankful for what I had done, and went to an AA meeting that morning. I felt such relief because I thought it was over. I thought I finally woke up from the nightmare. I never had any withdrawls, or DTs, or anything like that. quitting was almost easy, because I had my mind to it. AA was a HUGE help. This lasted 44 days.....
On day 44, I had to go to a continuing education convention that was in my town. I was on my way out the door for the day when a collegue invited me to his 'hospitality' suite that his business was hosting. I was apprehensive of this at first, but thought that I could handle it. Lets just say this, I wasnt in this room two minutes and had already killed 2 beers. You can guess how that night ended.....
I slowly eased back into the drinking game again. At first, I was successful. I fed my wife a line that I was okay, blah blah blah, and ofcoruse it worked.
Fast foward to a week ago....God im stupid!
My drinking was worse than ever. I couldnt open my passender door on my truck without beer bottles falling out. I was no longer hiding it. My co workers knew there was bad **** going on with me. People at my job began asking the bottles in my truck. I was once again hopeless, and drinking even more. A week ago, I took my last drink. Long story short, I went out drinking with a friend, and got so sloppy drunk I puked on myself while driving, puked in my house 4 times, got in a huge fight with my wife, you know the story, blah blah blah!
As you guys can only imagine, that went over like a balloon full of ****.
long story short, my wife FINALLY (i am glad she did this) told me if I ever drink again, she is gone.
So here I am, back in AA, taking the program much more serious than I ever have, and I ask for you good people to support this idiot drunk! Hi guys!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
You are not an idiot, Army. 
Thanks for telling us your story.
I was in similar shape when I came here. It was so hard to admit I could never allow alcohol to enter my body again. Each time I tried to have one or two it led to a nightmare - and danger. We're all in this together, and we understand what you're going through. Keep reading and posting - you are going to do this.
Thanks for telling us your story.I was in similar shape when I came here. It was so hard to admit I could never allow alcohol to enter my body again. Each time I tried to have one or two it led to a nightmare - and danger. We're all in this together, and we understand what you're going through. Keep reading and posting - you are going to do this.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
It seems you are on the road to recovery , Army. But it also seems that yours is a very narrow road. With very, very steep cliffs on either side of the road. I hope you drive carefully. Stay focused. And you will end up in a much, much better place.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Hey, Army.
Thanks for sharing the whole story with us.
All of that can be the past, you know.
It just takes putting one foot in front of the other. Simple, but not easy as we well know.
How are you doing today?
I hope you keep posting here. You'll find a lot of support.
Thanks for sharing the whole story with us.
All of that can be the past, you know.
It just takes putting one foot in front of the other. Simple, but not easy as we well know.
How are you doing today?
I hope you keep posting here. You'll find a lot of support.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 41
Isn't it weird how at one point in your life you wouldn't believe if you saw yourself now? Sneaking up on you is an understatement for sure. How can it be you had no legal troubles, no serious health troubles & only minor relationship troubles. You've been lucky so far, that's all. I'm also guessing you're a pretty smart person being able to keep things mostly together. Hopefully you can get some perspective in the next few days or weeks before you're out of "crisis mode" in your own head. Once things get back to normal and everything runs as it should has always been the toughest for me. I bet you'll see that too. Never forget how you felt at your lowest point. Keep going to meetings. You'll be good.
Alive in the Superunknown
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: 30.47ºN, 98.15ºW
Posts: 1,460
Hiya Sarge, thanks for your sharing.
I'm new to sobriety myself, but one thing that's been useful to me is the self-discipline inculcated in me in Basic (USAF, 1989). We're on a mission that will last a lifetime, bud ... let's march.
I'm new to sobriety myself, but one thing that's been useful to me is the self-discipline inculcated in me in Basic (USAF, 1989). We're on a mission that will last a lifetime, bud ... let's march.
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