Forte

A Month ago I was clean and sober. I had nearly 40 days up and then had a slip. Well that slip has cost me my Job, my relationship and now I'm about to lose my home. I was drinking for a few nights and using meth then stopped my bender, now I'm using painkillers and haven't stopped for a few weeks. I want to get clean but there is no motivation now it feels like everything is lost. I'm actually going to be homeless on Monday. I can't believe it.

My partner finally left me after I took her car while she was at work ( I am unlicensed, DUI ) and went to buy more pills. She found me asleep in the drivers seat when she got home. I miss her so much and I wish I could just talk I her.

I know this has to stop. I am desperate. I don't have anywhere else to turn to right now. I have no money and frankly no desire to face up to the reality I have created for myself. I don't want to go on anymore.

I thought I had seen rock bottom. Well turns out it can get lower. Thanks for reading my miserable post, hope I didn't bum anyone else out

kinzoku

For now, all you can do is make the choice to be sober TODAY.

SR is here to support you in that.

Don't take solace in rock bottom and use that as an excuse to use and drink. There is always a new direction you can take, for better or worse.

ScottFromWI

The fact that your here tells me there's some part of you that still wants to get sober. The Salvation Army is a place you could turn for help with a lot of things right now...including help getting clean. And SR is always here as well...we care a and we understand.

MythOfSisyphus

I'm sorry that addiction has brought you so low, Forte. Time to get to work with the business of recovery! As bad as things look now it can get better.

Jsbodhi

Aw!! (((( hug))) stick around and get sober.
We were all miserable and desperate when we got here and a ton of us turned it around and life is fantastic xo

Dee74

I'm sorry for all this Forte.
Unfortunately I think things could get worse if you don't pull out now.

Even if you feel unmotivated, force yourself to get some help. Make some effort.

The longer you ride the crazy train the harder it will be to get off.

D

Ghostlight1

Oh, it can get worse. I've been there. Lower. Not just once, either.
There was no bottom to the depths I went to.
Lost everything, homeless still drank. It's a very dark and seemingly hopeless place. I never planned on seeing thirty. It's inexplicable how I'm alive twenty years later.
I've been clean and sober five years now, and still hate to revisit those lows in my mind.

There is always one thing, I found out, hope. If you give up on yourself, no matter the circumstance, you've lost and things will get worse. Trust me.

The Salvation Army is a great suggestion. There is help out there. And here.
Help yourself, save yourself, by not picking up or using.

Best to you.

teatreeoil007

Gotta stop this wicked train of addiction friend! We are all living proof it can be done.. I mean trains aren't easy to stop & I would be doing you a big disservice if I said it was easy... But some of the most worthwhile things are challenging too ... Take the challenge you can do it!!

Steely

Sorry this is happening Forte. Do you think you might need to go to detox then rehab? This would be a start in both getting clean and your housing. Once clean you will be in a better position to reclaim your life. You are not alone in this Forte, keep posting.

Soberwolf

Rootin for you Forte & know your not alone you have a found a wonderful supportive community nice to meet you

24hrsAday

Same Here Forte..
this is a Great site.. LOTS of good people round here!
keep coming back!

SoberinSyracuse

"Forte" means "Strong." And as long as you're above ground, you can't yet say it couldn't be worse. Let's just make sure it DOESN'T get worse!

First order of business -- make a call or visit to the Salvation Army NOW to make arrangements for shelter and treatment. If you take action now, you do not have to be homeless and hungover a few days from now. If you take action now, your future can be happy and bright.

Wastinglife

I have been in similar circumstances in the past. Job loss, no driver's license, girlfriend kicked me out of her place (got evicted from my own apartment).

I showed up on my parents' doorstep with two suitcases containing all my possessions. I am fortunate that I could lean on family for help, otherwise I would have been homeless.

Is there any family or friends that you can go to for immediate help?

Dharma33

Forte, I'm sorry you find yourself in this circumstance.

The Salvation Army is a great suggestion. Please make the call; you will have shelter, a safe place to detox and perhaps a sober living program.

You can get your life back! This is a great time to get off the elevator. We would love nothing more than to see you make strides to get better.

thomas11

Hi Forte, I also feel really bad about what has brought you here. But you're here, and that's a great start. Many people here can and will help you every step of the way. Hop off the crazy train and start to rebuild. No step is too small to start turning your life around.

Thumpalumpacus

Hiya Forte. The good thing about your post is that you've identified your problem. There's no time like the present to start attacking it. Secure shelter first. Get yourself a job, anything to keep your hands moving and your time occupied.

Waste not the hour, bud, and best wishes to you. You can do this. We can do this.

SoberLeigh

^^^ This, Forte, especially the word 'NOW'.

Turn your life around and really start living.

Forte

Thank you all for the replies and support. I really need it atm. Exactly why I posted here because I need sober heads guiding me, not my warped mind.

Recovery is the goal, I haven't stopped using. I'm sleeping like 16 hours a day. I know that's not solving anything but I'm so damn tired. Just getting out of bed for a few minutes drains me completely.

I'm going to bite the bullet and call my parents. Don't know what to say

ScottFromWI

Just tell them the truth... you want be sober and need help.

Forte

That's prob the best thing Scott