zigzagging

Hi I am on day 32 today and I'm finding it easy to say no, even when others around me are drinking - but what I am worried about is when is it gonna crash and burn? It can't be this easy, I've read others stories on here and I know it will happen and I don't want to fail but I suppose it will happen - won't it?

littlefish

Do you have any kind of program?

least

It won't happen if you don't let it happen. Think positive.

Zebra1275

Actively following a program can give you some inoculation when life turns bad.

Bunny211

Live in the moment. Stop trying to live in the "wreckage of the future." Take today as a good day and run with it. There are good days and bad days in sobriety. Take the good with the bad.

Stepping off the soapbox now I will tell you that around 3 months sober I hit a wall. I felt horrible. I was lonely, depressed, angry and miserable. I knew I could not stay sober on my own will power so I went to a big book step study meeting of alcoholics anonymous and started working the steps. My life has gotten so much better. Around 7 months I also had a period of time where I felt miserable and was questioning everything. Am I really an alcoholic? Do I really want to keep going to meetings, calling my sponsor, writing my 4th step? I got through that rough patch as well.

You might have rough patches or "crashes" but you don't have to crash and burn. You can dust yourself off, re-evaluate things, and keep forging ahead with your sobriety.

Ariesagain

As someone who has messed up more times than I can count, it's when it seems easy that you get complacent, "hey, I got this!" and so you start the Moderation Mambo. Two months or two weeks or two days later, you're back waking up every night at 3:15 in a sweaty pile of panic and self-loathing.

I'm on day 34 this time and there's enough life drama going on in my world that I rarely think about drinking.

But I know it's just biding its time to sink its claws back in.

littlefish

I mention program because I didn't make it with "resolve" or will power or just deciding I wouldn't drink anymore. I needed something I could sink my teeth into and I made a rather large sandwich: outpatient treatment, an addiction therapist, aa, a sponsor, lots of books, a study group with other alcoholics. Alcohol destroyed my life and it was the biggest and worst problem I had so I really had to make recovery the biggest and best solution in my life.
A relapse is not inevitable: a program can help you with tools like identifying your triggers.

Anna

I think if you follow a plan for your recovery, you will do well. What kinds of things do you do each day to support your recovery?

Dee74

I couldn't be around people drinking ZZ.

Maybe making some alternative plans this weekend would be the way to go?

D

Soberwolf

Congrats on day 34 but I agree I couldn't be around drinkers so early in sobriety I chose to hang bk & to borrow one of D's famous lines I built sober muscles whether that was going to recovery meetings, group therapy/outpatient, working a programme whether it's AA Smart AVRT or SR by working on recovery your working on yourself which only adds sober muscles

so maybe 6-12 months down the line I could attend things like christenings weddings gatherings christmas etc I would have an exit plan I would be journalling my experiences in sobriety which is a phenomenonal reflection tool

34 days is amazing but every new building has scaffolding think of your sobriety as a new building what will be your scaffolding ?

SoberLife90

You are not going to eventually fail! It only comes crashing down if you don't have a recovery plan. Having a plan helps you be able to deal with life without taking that drink. I have heard people on this forum talk about how relapse is part of addiction, but it doesn't need to be part of recovery. It's certainly not part of mine, however, if I stopped going to meetings, calling other AAs, and working the steps I could definitely go down thwt road! You can do it, but you need to have some sort of recovery plan. Keep moving forward, don't rest on your accomplishments. Keeeep moving!

teatreeoil007

Seems like fatalistic thinking that a crash & burn is inevitable.. Not everyone crashes & burns.. Some just crash - others just burn but in all seriousness it may or may not happen ; can sometimes be predictable. But not always.. Do you feel you're going to crash and burn? That must give you a terrible feeling of impending doom .. Try to stay in the present- that might help..

Dropsie

It sounds stupid, even to me, but in addition to all the great advice you have received, the bottom line is just don't drink ever, not matter what, and you will be fine.

Never means never.

This becomes easier the more you figure yourself out by doing all the other work.

But the bottom line remains the same -- Never Quit the Decision.

Surrender2win

Congrats on making it over 30 days! That's fantastic. The AV does sneak up on you when you least expect it. When that happens, get on here and post/read. It has been a huge help in my sobriety.

Try not to worry about the future... think only of today. You can do this... one day at a time!

red3215

I'm two months sober and worried about the same thing. I noticed a lot of people relapse around three months, not sure why but getting complacent and starting to forget how bad it was, probably.

fini

redladyslipper,
that's why it is suggested you do more than just relying on your memory of how bad it was.
insufficient for longterm.

fini

zigzagging,
your future is not written in stone. and there's nothing inevitable about crashing and burning as far as drinking again.
there are choices you can make regarding what paths to follow in order to make that not happen.

you're "giving yourself permission" by this fake decision that it's inevitable.

look around here, see what those who aren't crashing and burning are doing/have done and consider doing those things.

but maybe crashing is easier? you think? or know?

FarToGo

This really is the one! Get support, do what you need to do....... BUT really, just don't ever drink again.
Be well
xx

thomas11

Hi ZZ, I agree with others. By waiting for the crash, I believe you run the risk of it being inevitable, and it isn't. You may very well keep sailing along with no problems what so ever. Isn't that going to be great?