Comfortable in your skin today?
Comfortable in your skin today?
Am I becoming or have I become comfortable in my own skin?? This is a phrase (posed as the question in this thread) we hear in sobriety. What does that mean to you and where are you in that process today?
I learned from ya'll and others that sobriety is an inside job - I can't change the world around me but can only manage my perceptions of it and how I react to it. I learn to deal differently with anger, frustration and fear. I begin to change, soberly. I bump into concepts like love, tolerance and empathy. I start to believe it is better to seek understanding than to be understood -to love than to be loved - to console as to be consoled (as the prayer of St. Francis tells me.)
I start to feel more at peace, more comfortable in my own skin.
This takes time for me and is a arduous process.
How is your evolution comfort-wise in your skin today?? Does it fit?
I learned from ya'll and others that sobriety is an inside job - I can't change the world around me but can only manage my perceptions of it and how I react to it. I learn to deal differently with anger, frustration and fear. I begin to change, soberly. I bump into concepts like love, tolerance and empathy. I start to believe it is better to seek understanding than to be understood -to love than to be loved - to console as to be consoled (as the prayer of St. Francis tells me.)
I start to feel more at peace, more comfortable in my own skin.
This takes time for me and is a arduous process.
How is your evolution comfort-wise in your skin today?? Does it fit?
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Yes, very much indeed. Alcohol was the one existential thing that was itching me. The rest (finances, weight, etc.) are trivial material details that are easy to solve by comparison.
Before, there was no amount of external fabulousness that made me feel okay. Now, I feel just fine despite external warts.
Alcohol was at the seat of my self perception.
Before, there was no amount of external fabulousness that made me feel okay. Now, I feel just fine despite external warts.
Alcohol was at the seat of my self perception.
I had thought going back to drinking would make me more sociable because I was kind of lonely, but it backfired and made me isolate even more because I didn't like anyone seeing me drunk. I remember telling my sister how much I hated myself and thought that was why I kept drinking.
Funny thing is, now that I've stopped pouring booze into me, I don't hate myself at all. I've come to realize that I'm just not a sociable person, that it's okay to be a quiet introvert and I'm actually enjoying my own company a lot now.
And so grateful to be sober again!
Funny thing is, now that I've stopped pouring booze into me, I don't hate myself at all. I've come to realize that I'm just not a sociable person, that it's okay to be a quiet introvert and I'm actually enjoying my own company a lot now.
And so grateful to be sober again!
I had thought going back to drinking would make me more sociable because I was kind of lonely, but it backfired and made me isolate even more because I didn't like anyone seeing me drunk. I remember telling my sister how much I hated myself and thought that was why I kept drinking.
Funny thing is, now that I've stopped pouring booze into me, I don't hate myself at all. I've come to realize that I'm just not a sociable person, that it's okay to be a quiet introvert and I'm actually enjoying my own company a lot now.
And so grateful to be sober again!
Funny thing is, now that I've stopped pouring booze into me, I don't hate myself at all. I've come to realize that I'm just not a sociable person, that it's okay to be a quiet introvert and I'm actually enjoying my own company a lot now.
And so grateful to be sober again!
Totally agree - frankly, it's not all good on my part......but that recognition gives me an opportunity to change, perhaps. Or at the very least not act on those defects.
Either way for me it can be a daily sliding scale.
thanks jsm!
I don't think the core ME really changes when I'm not drinking. I believe my brain chemistry changes toward the positive, and with a positive outlook, I'm more productive, healthier and generally happier.
I grew up in a bad place (L.A.), and violence was everywhere. The bullying I endured would have criminal repercussions if I were a kid where I live now and today's age. I think those solemn and dark feelings were initially drowned by the booze, then became a way to be back in the darkness that I had grown up in as a child. It was almost like it was my only association with anything. Almost as if I subconsciously found the darkness to be my comfort zone the way a dog is trained to sleep in a cage in the basement.
Interestingly, I am very introspective and thoughtful my first day after stopping, then I have difficulties with cravings for a while before I settle into a sober life where I simply stop thinking about drinking. I think I'm a natural introvert, but I definitely go out more and talk more when I'm sober. Everything is brighter and generally more positive feeling when I'm sober, so I guess that's a better way to be. May as well.
I grew up in a bad place (L.A.), and violence was everywhere. The bullying I endured would have criminal repercussions if I were a kid where I live now and today's age. I think those solemn and dark feelings were initially drowned by the booze, then became a way to be back in the darkness that I had grown up in as a child. It was almost like it was my only association with anything. Almost as if I subconsciously found the darkness to be my comfort zone the way a dog is trained to sleep in a cage in the basement.
Interestingly, I am very introspective and thoughtful my first day after stopping, then I have difficulties with cravings for a while before I settle into a sober life where I simply stop thinking about drinking. I think I'm a natural introvert, but I definitely go out more and talk more when I'm sober. Everything is brighter and generally more positive feeling when I'm sober, so I guess that's a better way to be. May as well.
On a lighter note, I got tickled reading your post while viewing your avatar! If that "horse" can be comfortable wearing striped pajamas, who am I to complain!?
I don't want to be Debbie downer, or in this case, Dropsie downer, but no I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. Never have.
So this is what I am tackling one day at a time.
Not drinking I can say never again, but self defeating behaviour, not yet, but not drinking allows me to try.
I love Soltice's post, I am comfortable in my own darkness. This is what I need to change. Little by little.
Great to hear that some many have gotten there. Good for you. its not an easy journey.
Great thread.
So this is what I am tackling one day at a time.
Not drinking I can say never again, but self defeating behaviour, not yet, but not drinking allows me to try.
I love Soltice's post, I am comfortable in my own darkness. This is what I need to change. Little by little.
Great to hear that some many have gotten there. Good for you. its not an easy journey.
Great thread.
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