The Debate Team
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
The Debate Team
that's what i call the Dark Legion of voices in my head.....when i was using they were incessant, relentless, and not at all unlike Golum with his PRECIOUS. more! now! need! gimme gimme gimme! mine!!!!
they accompanied me into recovery as well.......and while not as crude and obnoxious, they became more nuanced and SNEAKY. could be a perfectly normal day, not a trigger for 5000 miles and all of the sudden....Hey Anvil, wouldn't a line be just AWESOME right about now? just a quick one? yeah, your nose is starting to tingle a bit isn't it, and you got that salty taste in the back of your throat......come on, what possible HARM could there be???
so now with 8+ years under my belt, the team has pretty much given up on out and out sabotage. however i am here to report, THEY ARE STILL THERE. weekend before last i made the decision that i was going to start doing workouts in the morning, right after i got up, before work. i chose my workout methods and bookmarked some videos. go me.
and THEN hank tells me that he needs to be up EARLIER to get to work.....wants to leave the house by 5:40. we always give him an hour to wander around and get his act together, so that's 4:40. meaning start the coffee pot at 4:20 or so which means YIPPEE SKIPPY Anvil gets the 4am - 4:20am window for workouts!!!!!
how cool is that?????
to make this as easy on myself as possible, i slept on the couch, meaning i was never more than three feet from the laptop, aka NO excuses. first morning the voices were ready to go:
Surely you meant start this on TUESDAY right? Can't we just say that today was practice for getting up that early?
after getting video going....ok we aren't going to do ALL 15 minutes TODAY are we? i mean shouldn't we ease into this??? (this is at the 1 minute mark).
is it done yet??? (at about the 3 minute mark).
each morning i get some version of the "Don't Wanna's" and each morning i get to practice acting as if and just plowing thru the resistance and the grumbling. this morning i did let them talk me into NOT doing the workout right AT 4am, we waitied until after hank left, got a bit more coffee in....and out...and then pushed play. the debate team had voted that today should be a NO workout day.....i had to stand firm and say yes it is. the team also suggested that we COULD postpone this til AFTER work today. and many other "helpful" suggestions on how to NOT do anything NOW.
it's been good practice.....and has allowed me to dust off some old recovery tools and make sure they still work. i learned long long ago that ARGUING with the "team" is a WIN for them. DEBATING the merits of their suggestions is a WIN for them. but simply restating MY position - we ARE going to workout now, even tho we are up before GOD, and that's all there is to it - is a WIN for me. and when i stick to MY guns, guess what? ha, the damn debate team has NO CHOICE but to come along for the ride! HA.
they accompanied me into recovery as well.......and while not as crude and obnoxious, they became more nuanced and SNEAKY. could be a perfectly normal day, not a trigger for 5000 miles and all of the sudden....Hey Anvil, wouldn't a line be just AWESOME right about now? just a quick one? yeah, your nose is starting to tingle a bit isn't it, and you got that salty taste in the back of your throat......come on, what possible HARM could there be???
so now with 8+ years under my belt, the team has pretty much given up on out and out sabotage. however i am here to report, THEY ARE STILL THERE. weekend before last i made the decision that i was going to start doing workouts in the morning, right after i got up, before work. i chose my workout methods and bookmarked some videos. go me.
and THEN hank tells me that he needs to be up EARLIER to get to work.....wants to leave the house by 5:40. we always give him an hour to wander around and get his act together, so that's 4:40. meaning start the coffee pot at 4:20 or so which means YIPPEE SKIPPY Anvil gets the 4am - 4:20am window for workouts!!!!!
how cool is that?????
to make this as easy on myself as possible, i slept on the couch, meaning i was never more than three feet from the laptop, aka NO excuses. first morning the voices were ready to go:
Surely you meant start this on TUESDAY right? Can't we just say that today was practice for getting up that early?
after getting video going....ok we aren't going to do ALL 15 minutes TODAY are we? i mean shouldn't we ease into this??? (this is at the 1 minute mark).
is it done yet??? (at about the 3 minute mark).
each morning i get some version of the "Don't Wanna's" and each morning i get to practice acting as if and just plowing thru the resistance and the grumbling. this morning i did let them talk me into NOT doing the workout right AT 4am, we waitied until after hank left, got a bit more coffee in....and out...and then pushed play. the debate team had voted that today should be a NO workout day.....i had to stand firm and say yes it is. the team also suggested that we COULD postpone this til AFTER work today. and many other "helpful" suggestions on how to NOT do anything NOW.
it's been good practice.....and has allowed me to dust off some old recovery tools and make sure they still work. i learned long long ago that ARGUING with the "team" is a WIN for them. DEBATING the merits of their suggestions is a WIN for them. but simply restating MY position - we ARE going to workout now, even tho we are up before GOD, and that's all there is to it - is a WIN for me. and when i stick to MY guns, guess what? ha, the damn debate team has NO CHOICE but to come along for the ride! HA.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Wow, lady, I'm impressed. Holy crap, exercising at 4 in the morning? I'm in awe.
But I agree--one of the things that has held me back from so much stuff is that freakin' debate team. Remember, I am a HIGHLY EDUCATED, and WELL-PAID debater. I do it for a living. Very hard to turn off. It can take me forever to make a decision. It's a miracle I ever got sober. But that was, indeed, one time I refused to debate my decision. I shut my eyes and held my nose and jumped in.
But other stuff, yeah, sister--I need to shut those puppies up.
But I agree--one of the things that has held me back from so much stuff is that freakin' debate team. Remember, I am a HIGHLY EDUCATED, and WELL-PAID debater. I do it for a living. Very hard to turn off. It can take me forever to make a decision. It's a miracle I ever got sober. But that was, indeed, one time I refused to debate my decision. I shut my eyes and held my nose and jumped in.
But other stuff, yeah, sister--I need to shut those puppies up.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
back in the day when i was doing Power 90, the motto was JUST PUSH PLAY. doesn't matter what the voices say, or how early it is, or any of that, just stumble to the VHS and hit the play button and GO. it actually helps to be UP before you are really AWAKE, as your body just follows along......
the real thing is to NOT give in to the cacophony of voices in our heads....but do what we CHOSE and committed to......to not let ourselves down.
the real thing is to NOT give in to the cacophony of voices in our heads....but do what we CHOSE and committed to......to not let ourselves down.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,003
Love this Anvil. I hadn't ever thought of it this way.
I often hear people ask about being motivated to exercise. I've learned to not even check to see if I'm motivated. I guess this is the Nike slogan "Just do it.". Even with this attitude it doesn't happen as often as I want. Maybe I need to print and frame the original post.
I often hear people ask about being motivated to exercise. I've learned to not even check to see if I'm motivated. I guess this is the Nike slogan "Just do it.". Even with this attitude it doesn't happen as often as I want. Maybe I need to print and frame the original post.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
I'm a procrastinator by nature. Why do today what I can do tomorrow (next week, next month or next year)?? RAH and I have said over and over we need to exercise at the gym. Its a 2 minute walk from our house.
"To not let ourselves down" . Yep.
"To not let ourselves down" . Yep.
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