Nic37b

Hi I split up with my axbf 2 weeks ago he's not talking to me at all (which is fine) but he has a hospital appointment tomorrow not related to drinking he has a very bad chest gets his results tomorrow after 4 month wait
I'm also at the hospital as a family member is sick.....
I'm worried about his results and don't know if to see him after his appointment or not just to make sure he is ok

AnvilheadII

one part of me says, he's getting tested AT the hospital, THEY will take care of him, so he will be "ok". is it your plan to roam the halls looking for him? since you two broke up AND he is not talking to you at present, it's probably best to stay focused on why YOU are there at the hospital and let him do his whatever-ing.

Nic37b

I know you are right I just can't help but worry

AnvilheadII

of course, but you don't have to DO anything with that worry....you can say a prayer or just send good will out to the Universe, and then let it go.

Nic37b

When does it stop all this worrying about him I would love that day just to be free and not care like he don't
I have no one I can really confide in he's related to my best friend and my other friends are his sisters
I just wish I had a switch that can turn all this off just like he can ..He caused me all this pain and hes all happy wheres the logic in that

AnvilheadII

sunshine, it's been TWO weeks.....you're gonna need to give it a bit more time than that! and you truly do not KNOW if he's over there happy as a pig in sh!t or singing show tunes......don't compare your insides to what you think is going on in somebody else's life.

hell, there is a former person in my life, he's been "out" of the picture most of 12(???) years now, with a brief moment when i thought we could reconnect and be friendly, and he still comes to mind unbidden sometimes. and then the thought/memory fades away again. but aren't ALL our memories like that?????????

Nic37b

Very true I know it will take time it's like it's all come at me at once I've been in denial for so long about his drinking I coped really well last week even seen him around the town we live in a small village since yesterday I just can't cope
I'm trying to understand alcoholism and I know it's a illness but can't help feel so angry at him
I know I won't have him back I can't live like it anymore .. memories good and bad will always stay with me deep down underneath the drink he's the best person ... With my family member not being well its him I've always spoke to and now I've not got that just feel so alone
Sorry for rambling on

AnvilheadII

you just keep on talking it out! i do wish the best for your family member.

Nic37b

Thankyou it's appreciated