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Old 01-31-2016, 02:27 PM
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advice needed

hi. I've just discovered my boyfriend has alcohol and cocaine addiction. at first I thought that his behaviour was a one off due to heated circumstances around family issues but it seems a lot deeper routed than that to the extent of missing bill payments and possibly risk of losing his employment. i thought i could suppprt but i'm not sure if i'm just being naive thinking i help at all. does anyone have any advice on this?
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Old 01-31-2016, 02:29 PM
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Does your bf think he has a problem? Because it's all up to him whether he does something about it to fix it.

Have you talked to him about it? If so, how does he react?

I hope you can find some peace of mind, even if it means being on your own.
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Old 01-31-2016, 02:34 PM
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hi thanks for responding. yes he admits he has a problem and wants help but unsure where to start with it. seemed to make some steps forward but then doesn't seem confident over managing to control what happens when he has finances to fund for more
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Old 01-31-2016, 02:38 PM
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Originally Posted by gogo79 View Post

missing bill payments and possibly risk of losing his employment
Tell him that he needs to sober up fast or risk losing you.

You are not married.
No reason to stick around as one goes down.

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Old 01-31-2016, 03:24 PM
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Hi gogo

I think it all depends on what you think you can handle. If your bf wants to stop and shows evidence of doing something about stopping, all well and good.

If not tho, you might want to reconsider your future with this guy?

You'll find a lot of support and experience here anyway, both in this forum and our Family and Friends forums too

The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com

D

D
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Old 01-31-2016, 03:55 PM
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hi. he's been to see his gp and is on the waiting list for counselling. his gp believes that its stress due to circumstances but he seems very unconfident that he can avoid making the same financial mistakes when he gets paid again. I genuinely believe he wants help but seems to have difficulty finding the help he wants/needs from the services he has approached so far (gp/local recovery hub)
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Old 01-31-2016, 04:15 PM
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I would suggest a thorough read of Codependent No More and/or Beyond Codependency by Melodie Beattie. I have learned to focus on me, my behaviors. I can't fix or treat others. I had a history of fatal attractions and lacked healthy boundaries and relationships. Codependent work has been a lifesaver for me.
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Old 02-01-2016, 11:38 AM
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Welcome to the Forum Gogo!! You'll find loads of support here on SR!!
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Old 02-01-2016, 12:03 PM
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thank you I've found it very useful so far
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Old 02-01-2016, 12:11 PM
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Welcome GoGo
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