UrbanFarmer

I everyone. I've always had anxiety but it's coming on strong now. I used to drink it away. I'm 2 years and 5 months sober and I feel like I'm going backwards. My daughter was born 7 months ago and I thought when she was born I wouldn't have time to have anxiety. I worry about health, I'm 34 years old and fairly healthy. I get nervous going to public places, standing in lines, driving, especially stopping at red lights. Can anyone relate to this? I quit drinking for 5 months before relapsing before this final time. The first time I quit my anxiety completely disappeared I was going all over and loving life. But this long stretch of sobriety I feel like I'm stuck. Thanks.

ScottFromWI

I know exactly how you feel Urban. I'm just over 3 years sober and my anxiety still gives me fits from time to time. Constant worry about health, feeling off balance, nervous in line at the grocery store, at stop lights, even at home sometimes. I'm pretty sure it's something I've had my whole life but used alcohol to try and escape if for many years.

I'm doing some therapy and it is helping but not all the time. I know drinking will make it worse now though because the last stage of my drinking even the alcohol wasn't an escape.

UrbanFarmer

Hey thanks for replying. It's always nice to hear you're not alone. I can't figure it out. I play these panic attacks in my head before going somewhere that used to be so simple. I build it up into this huge ordeal. So many great things have come my way from being sober. I married my best friend, got a house, had a baby... I just can't shake this. I need to be able to do things for my daughter but anything out of my comfort zone is a disaster.

Zeroine

I've found that any kind of stress or disruption, even good stress and disruption, can make anxiety go up. So it would make sense to me that it could be worse now you're married with a new daughter, even though those are good things (congratulations!). More responsibility, less time, and perhaps a number of expectations on yourself sounds stressful to me.

My experience is that anxiety will feed on itself unless it's challenged. Challenging it has to be gradual, or it will backfire, but I never found anxiety would go away of it's own accord. But by working on it I'm way better than I used to be.

I know a lot of people find CBT helpful. There are other approaches and techniques too. Is there any chance of getting some professional help with this? Or following your own plan, maybe with the help of a book or the internet?

UrbanFarmer

I was thinking about CBT but I don't know.. Whenever I do things my wife is like " yeah exposure therapy" but just the other day at CVS standing in line all I wanted to do was run out of there. When I got to the counter to pay I had to pretend to tie my boot while paying because I was so lightheaded. It's freaking killing me.

Anna

I had anxiety issues long before I began drinking. Drinking made things worse and recovery has helped somewhat, but the anxiety is still there. I try to remember that they are just feelings and I try to relax and breathe, which helps. Meditation helps, therapy might help, and slowing your breathing might help.

Zeroine

I've used CBT a little, but I've always been careful with exposure therapy. For me,it has to be gradual, step by step.

I prefer things like mindfulness (I don't mean Buddhist meditation, just trying to pay more attention and staying in the present).

Have you heard of grounding techniques? Things like having a pebble in your pocket that you can hold if you start feeling anxious? Or focussing on the feeling of your feet in contact with the ground. Smelling peppermint oil or sucking a mint. Counting all the blue objects in the room. Things that keep you grounded in your physical environment, which makes you feel safer.

UrbanFarmer

Thanks for all the tips. It's frustrating because I miss out on a lot. Not so much with my daughter cause she's so young but I don't want her to ever see that side of me. I want to be strong and reliable for her. I can't seem to to get back where I was. The whole stuck in reverse thing is really bothering me.

greens

I'm 5 years sober and still struggle with anxiety, it comes and goes and I've tried different things to help. Therapy, exercise, meditation, grounding exercises, medication. It's really difficult - I can relate to what you said about feeling like youre going backwards - I fought it for so long telling myself that I should be "better" by now. But the more I fought it the worst it got. Anxiety is super common, and a lot of people can relate, Talking about it really helps, taking thinks slowly, making little changes. Sometimes it feels like my world is about to come crashing down on me but I promise you it passes. Congrats on becoming a father - being sober is a great gift for her

UhZoomZip

I had anxiety before I started drinking, but only after I worked the night shift, really. I have always been pretty cool and collected person, but working nights ended that in some areas, especially crowded stores and during emergency broadcasts posts-9/11.

Drinking made it worse, though I think I'm mostly in a better place now than years ago, in spite of drinking still being an issue.

Breathing exercises do help, but they take WORK, just like sobriety.

sva777

All the ideas suggested here sound good, I am another one who suffered from anxiety and still do at times.

I hate going out in busy places and avoid them if possible, to think I lived in Manhattan for twelve years. Of course those years I medicated with booze.

For me the biggest trigger is not having enough sleep, that always seems to make the anxiety show up. Sleep and drinking enough water really help me, along with finally getting my blood pressure to normalize.

Krysta123

I have had anxiety my entire life mostly social..I just started taking celexa and buspar it seems to be helping me idk what your view on meds are but if it gets too bad you can always try something like that there are even herbal supplements that can help

Soberwolf

CBT helped me with some things

zombob

My doc gave me hydroxyzine and I'm supposed to take it twice daily. I was skeptical. I take it before bed and sleep longer and sounder(forgot it last night and was up at 3). The good sleep seems to have quelled my daytime anxiety a great deal. Who knew there was such a thing as sleep anxiety and it's consequences? My doc.

Dee74

Breathing exercises do work for me, but like someone else said they take time to perfect

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...techniqes.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...echniques.html

If CBT is something you'd consider why not go for it UF?
None of us got sober to suffer

D

PurpleKnight

It's one of those things as many have already posted, there's gonna be good and bad days even in Sobriety, when it comes to anxiety, emotions, feelings, life rumbles on.

Hang in there Urban, for me I needed to find a way to tackle it, whether long walks in the fresh air, some favourite music, a nice shower before bed etc!!

Zufrieden

Hi Urban.
Lots of great responses to your posting. Probably many of us on this site drank to quell unwelcome feelings. For me, anxiety, depression and existential darkness have been constant companions for as far back as my memory goes.
Drinking did help for a while but ultimately just piled on with feelings of alienation and self loathing that had not been there previously.
I'm facing it all sober these days and two things seem to help me:
1. I spend time alone as many days as possible on long walks. I turn off my phone and just walk wherever I happen to be. This calms me down, helps me to recharge and gives me a broader view of the world.
2. I search out stories online and in biographies of people who used their anxiety and other challenges as creative tools in their lives.... people who accepted that they had these issues and forged ahead. Many of the greatest people I know or know of have myriad issues to deal with in their lives. There is a sensitivity and empathy that seems to come with accepting and working with what we've been given.
I try to just accept these feelings as feelings and try to remember that they will pass at some point.
Best wishes to you.
Jonathan