Relapsed again
Brother of the Wolf
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Walking With Giants
Posts: 436
Relapsed again
The title says it all. Stress, anxiety, depression, those are my triggers. One drink, and physically I'm back to feeling like garbage. Mild hand tremors, sweats, having to force down food, and I just want to lie in bed all day. And, here's the least shocking part--I didn't have a recovery plan. So first thing is first, I need to ride this out and get back to health. Then AA.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Only takes one drink to kick all that madness off , that repetitive old not-so-merry-go-round .
Treat yourself carefully SH . Up's and down's happen , that's life . It's how we deal with them that counts .
m
Treat yourself carefully SH . Up's and down's happen , that's life . It's how we deal with them that counts .
m
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
I'm sorry you're going through this. It's good of you to post, not only for yourself, but the reminder is really helpful sometimes, at least for me.
Dust yourself off and get back on the bus. You can do this!
Dust yourself off and get back on the bus. You can do this!
Brother of the Wolf
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Walking With Giants
Posts: 436
Thanks for the support. I am back to day four. I slept somewhat normal last night with some help from the sound therapy that SiS told us about. We are about to get a massive snow storm tonight, so getting to a physical meeting may not be feasible for tomorrow. Instead, I al looking at online meetings for Rational Recovery. Also, every time I feel shaky and anxious, I pick up the Big Book and leaf through the stories in the back.
I also had my anxiety meds adjusted by my doctor in the hopes that it will help me not pick up. Then, we can work on a taper schedule to a more reasonable dose for only occasional use.
I know this is the bare bones of the beginning of a recovery plan, but ot is more than I have ever put together before.
I also had my anxiety meds adjusted by my doctor in the hopes that it will help me not pick up. Then, we can work on a taper schedule to a more reasonable dose for only occasional use.
I know this is the bare bones of the beginning of a recovery plan, but ot is more than I have ever put together before.
Brother of the Wolf
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Walking With Giants
Posts: 436
Closing in on the end of day four, and been focusing on hydration and nutritious food. It looks like we might get a snow day tomorrow, which will give me another day to rest and get back to feeling more like me. I'm also feeling like I can go to sleep tonight without constant thoughts about not being able to take a drink, or overanalyzing every pain or strange feeling in my body.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,592
Day 4 and things have improved already. Shows you the power of the drug and for some of us it is just one drink that does the damage. It changes everything. Weird. I'm so happy to be sober.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
I have made that one drink mistake too many times, and you hit the nail on the head about needing a plan. Day 32 for me today, and I made a plan and I am not allowing myself to get lax this time, that is where I have messed up in the last.
You can do this!!!
❤️Delilah
You can do this!!!
❤️Delilah
Brother of the Wolf
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Walking With Giants
Posts: 436
Strategy piece one worked out. When my AV started grumbling, I let it say its piece, and then had a virgin bloody mary that was way better than anything with booze in it that I've ever had. I'm not trying to block out my AV anymore, I'm trying to listen to its irrational argument so that I know what I can do in response that will make me happier and healthier and more proud of myself than if I just caved to the first suggestion that Mr. AV threw out.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
Originally Posted by SweatyHands 
Strategy piece one worked out. When my AV started grumbling, I let it say its piece, and then had a virgin bloody mary that was way better than anything with booze in it that I've ever had. I'm not trying to block out my AV anymore, I'm trying to listen to its irrational argument so that I know what I can do in response that will make me happier and healthier and more proud of myself than if I just caved to the first suggestion that Mr. AV threw out.
Brother of the Wolf
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Walking With Giants
Posts: 436
My intentions in listening to my AV is to hear it out and know exactly what lie The Beast is trying to tell me so that I can mount a proper response. If my AV says "You're stressed out, a drink will help." I can say "No it won't, but taking a walk with my wife and telling her that I'm having an anxiety attack might." It might not help, but it also won't give me a hangover. My AV likes to say "If you can't drink, you should just stay in bed." I can listen to that and respond by saying "I'll take a shower and make some tea. If that doesn't work, I'll try something else that doesn't involve lying in bed trying to figure out how to get a drink."
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
I see where your coming from SH but the AV is so powerful I'd advise countering against listening to it I used to call my AV my pet dinosaur because of its power now it's non existent even if I get stressed I already know a drink would lead to more problems vs listening to what false paradise my AV offered me
It takes time & everybody is diffrent so whatever works & that but choosing to listen to AV is very dangerous in my opinion
It takes time & everybody is diffrent so whatever works & that but choosing to listen to AV is very dangerous in my opinion
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