ryry77

I stopped drinking 3 weeks ago. I am a 38 yr old female and I would binge drink once or twice a week until I blacked out for about 4 years. I would drink about 20 drinks on my drinking days. I would always start out relaxed and happy and then it always turned into me being depressed and angry and I always picked fights with people. It came to the point where when I woke up the morning after drinking I had to check my emails and texts to make sure I didn't send anything crazy or hateful to someone. After doing it time after time I lost my friends. I don't blame them, and part of me wants to just leave my drinking past behind. And I am not about to go crawling back to people and begging them to be friends with me again.

I guess my question is how do you start over in your new sober life? I don't go to church and I work from home. My only hobby used to be drinking.

SoberinSyracuse

Exactly. Take care of yourself. Put yourself first and be sober.

Relationships can improve and be repaired after a while if you stay sober, but don't sweat it right now.

Congrats on 3 weeks! What all are you doing to stay sober and find healthier ways to enjoy life?

Coldfusion

Welcome, ryry! Three weeks sober is AWESOME!

SoberRecovery is a great place to spend some time. Read around and post often!

I think going to an AA meeting would be a good start at forming sober friendships.

ryry77

The only thing really keeping me sane right now is working out everyday. Besides my ruined relationships I was feeling horrible about how I looked from all the weight I gained from being so unhealthy.

I have definitely thought about going to AA... but it's just not for me. I did a years worth of counseling and I feel generally great. Just feeling alone without friends.

SoberinSyracuse

Me, too. Relationships in shambles and a bunch of weight gained.

My humble suggestion is to get out and about to potentially meet some new people. Do you have meetup.com where you are? Professional networking? Workout/running groups? Volunteer work? AA/SMART/Women for Sobriety/other recovery groups? Religious groups?

I admire that you're on a good workout plan. I need to get that implemented ASAP. It'll be healthy and also give me more social confidence!

serious

start exercising, do some yoga, go to the movies, find a hobby, or just anything to do really. there's so much to do besides drinking.

Delilah1

Since you have been working out regularly maybe you can find a running or walking group in your area. There are lots of groups that train together and raise money for charity as well. It is a great way to meet people, and raise money for a good cause.
❤️Delilah

Berrybean

Have you actually been to any AA or SMART meetings? If not, I would encourage you to at least give some a go before dismissing them as 'not for you'. Not so long ago you wouldn't have thought sobriety was 'for you' either. I don't think anyone went to AA and found exactly what they were expecting. And most of us don't even really know what we need to do to maintain sobriety and make sober friends at first - it's alien to us.

I've made some fantastic friends at AA - and the great thing is that often one of them will be interested in joining me to try out some new sober activity so I don't end up going alone. I started at a new choir a couple of weeks ago - which would have terrified me, but I went with 2 of my AA girl-friends so it was fine, and we're all really enjoying it now. There's always someone to meet for coffee and a natter as well (which there wasn't before because all my old friends were glued to their bar stools).

Soberwolf

Welcome RyRy

least

Welcome to the family and congrats on three weeks sober! You'll find lots of support here.

Nic233

Welcome and well done on 3 weeks! I'm just behind you at 19 days today!!!
I've managed to isolate myself over the last few years so I have very few friends left. I chose drink over my friendships. I lost my best friend through my behaviour when I was drunk once and I just didn't care about anything but my boys and my wine ....
I agree with Beccy- I've only been going to AA meetings for the last couple of weeks ( 3 a week) but already I've met such wonderful, supportive people who I can actually ring if I feel down or just want a chat. I come out of every meeting laughing and actually REALLY happy. Might be worth a go?
Sending you strength and love xxxx

zlhzlh

I can relate to your post. Think about you, think about what's important. The friends that matter will be there for you. If they aren't you don't need them. Find a hobby which gets you out meeting people which doesn't involve any form of social drinking. Gym, Running, Fishing, Shooting, Walking, Beach cleaning, forest foraging .....the list goes on.....Learn a new language at night school. You will find that your old life is boring and your new life becomes great!!

ALinNS

Welcome and congratulations on three weeks.

For me I did a number of things to meet new people, meetup.com and joined a local hiking group that is active at least five times a week, met a few people attending AA, those are people I can also call in rough times vs drinking again, I have a dog so dog parks are like a playground and it's very easy to meet people and I like the community pot luck dinners, we seem to have at least one a week.

All the best
Andrew

FeelingGreat

Nothing for it but to join a few groups that do things that interest you. I wouldn't go all out to make it up with your friends at this stage, but after you have a solid period of sobriety behind you, you might want to apologise. It will mean much more if you're sober.

Dee74

I thought getting sober would rob me of everything I found important...instead I rediscovered what I really found important.

Noone would stay sober if they thought they lost out on the deal.

My real friends stuck by me, I reconnected with others I'd driven away, and I made many more

If there's one thing I can leave you with it's that things will be OK

Coming here is a great start to that new sober life ryry

D

teatreeoil007

You have us ! Everything will be alright... Stay sober; it's so worth it!!

MIRecovery

If you want to meet people that don't drink go to places and do things where people don't drink.

Sobriety is about creating a new life not making you old life work without alcohol

Vinificent

Making new friends is not easy, but it is possible. Working from home can be very isolating; where I work we each work from home several days a week but also meet with our teams several times a week...it is a good balance, and most of us would not choose to work entirely from home now. Would it be possible to form a meeting with others who work the same job as you? You could share ideas, talk about what works or doesn't work well...could be there are others in the same spot as you - enjoy the flexibility of working from home, but also appreciate some human interaction.
Also would like to echo what others have said about giving AA another chance, except keep an open mind about how it can help you personally. You don't need to believe on all the principles or strictly follow the steps - I am a non-believer (i.e. atheist, etc) so I don't pray or rely on any god or otherworldly force to help with my sobriety, but I do find spending time with others who know what I am going through is priceless, and that’s why I keep going to AA. Bottom line is to find a combination of helpful resources that helps YOU!
And of course keep coming on here and letting us know what is working for you - it could help someone else 😀

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum!!

For me I needed to find a few new hobbies, and with new hobbies came new people, relationships built around something other than alcohol, it can be done!!

Anna

I was lost also and volunteering in my community saved me.